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tiffani - February 26th, 2005 1:48 PM

Suzie, While he may continue to have sex with you without birth control, don't use that as his way of saying he's okay with having a baby. Men are men, and they don't have babies on the brain like women do. You should talk to him and tell him you want a baby, and go from there. While it's not deceitful to do what you're doing, you have one thing in mind when having sex, and he has something completely different on his. I think you owe it to your husband to discuss children before you go making any.


Suzie - February 26th, 2005 2:56 PM

Thx girls for responding.Rose, we have 2 kids together,8&4( g&b).We have always agreed on having 3or4.He said b4 the son was born to have them all young, which i agreed.( sorry for those who read my story on this forum b4.)I am 26 & he's 35, now i have mentionned my strong desire of having another now and he said a big N.O,because a baby would disrupt HIS plans.He said the only way he would agree was he i didn't mind being a SAHM and put my career on hold for a while, which i agreed.But even that he changes his mind and says i shouldn't be one and should build my career 1st. So i stopped pressurising him about it and brought up the pill issue b4 having anymore sex, so i thought he will definately tell me to go back on it, but didn't. Now my belly has doubled in the last few mths, so much that ppl congratulate me or ask me if i'm pregnant, but my husband seems too blind ( ?).If strangers can see it , surely he can too ! I should remind him b4 gettting intimate that im not onBC anymore, but i know he never forget things and there is no way he could have mistaken what i've said cos it was clear like water and i fear he might tell me to use the pill when it could already be too late.I know i should talk with him , but this is a delicate issue.I know , i know i sound stupid.....


BUMP - February 28th, 2005 4:38 AM

Bump


rose - February 28th, 2005 6:50 AM

suzie, first of all you do not sound stupid! 2nd- have you taken a hpt? maybe he hasnt mentioned your belly because he would assume you would come to him if you suspected or knew you were pregnant...it sounds to me that even though he said no he is not too worried about you getting pregnant, but i do agree with what tiffani said "men are men" !!! did you plan your first 2? because i didnt and it is much different (and scarier) when your actually planning a pregnancy...(i think so anyway!) some people would rather just let it happen and then deal with it....i do think you need to talk more with him to make sure how he feels and if you suspect anything take a hpt so you can take the right precautions for a healthy pregnancy


Suzie - February 28th, 2005 9:24 AM

Hi Rose, thx again for ur reply.It feels good to know there are some ppl out there who cares !
It does make sense in ur comment about my belly, it is true that he probably awaits for me to come forward if i think i 'm pregnant.I am now 2 days late , but i don't want to test ...yet.
And yeah, i agree with both of u girls, men are men, but i know some women whose partners don't want kids and say that their partner wouldn't even consider getting intimate with them unless they use precaution.So i must agree with u , if he was really really against the idea, he would definately do something about it, well i would !
My 2 were not really planned but not really unplanned either.I told him what about a kid,he said well, i don't mind, if u get pregnant good, if u don't well...we'll try again.Now i would think i'm preggo again, but i don't know how to bring it out to him.( he can't blame me alone though cos he was there LOL ).Anyway...thx for listening to me.
I'm 26 with 2 kids, u'd think i'd know better huh ??


amanda - February 28th, 2005 9:30 PM

i'm thinking about it my boyfriend and i have been together for three years and we are engaged but he doesn't want to tell his family that we want to get married by ourselves with out anyone and i secretly want a baby so bad so i am thinking of sticking a needle through all our condems and then give him a reason to tell his family


Brandy - May 15th, 2005 10:43 PM

YES, we both want a baby, badly, but he thinks it is bad timing, tight now. Due to medical reasons i only have a few yrs to concieve. So what else am I to do, the clock is ticking. Right?


Kaz - May 16th, 2005 6:53 AM

I think that women who are doing this are evil. Who on Earth do you think you are to make a Lifetime decision on behalf of your partner? Dare I say it but I hope your attempts are fruitless.


rwilks - August 7th, 2005 4:11 PM

I am 23 and my partner is 32 and I am secretly trying for a baby. He has 2 children (3and 5) from his last marriage they live with us and I take care of them. We have spoken about children before and at the time he said he wants children with me. But when i mentioned it again he said now was not the right time. He said he will just know when that is. I came of the pill and now I am just waiting to see if it happens. I dont feel good about doing this and Im so worried he will be angry but I think it is a good thing for us to have a child in the next year.


tish - September 26th, 2005 11:32 PM

I thought about secretly trying to have a child also....but when I thought about my boyfriend's feelings, I changed my actions. He knows that I'm not taking the pill right now because of complications, and we're still having unprotected sex. He says that he wants children....just not today...lol. I want kids....like right away, but I know I have to wait a little bit, if I want them with him. I'm almost 30 yrs old and I feel like my clock is ticking. I'm trying to be very patient with my mate, but he feels that he's not "set" yet...as far as money goes. I believe we will be alright. I just honestly think that he's not ready for the responsibility. I think that it will take away his hangout time with the boys...lol. So, I said all of that to say....Suzie, I really think that if I were you, I would think this WHOLE thing through before making a decision of that sort. He just may resent you for it in the end. And that's what I'm afraid of on my end. Even though we hear what men say, when they say "I want kids"....but we don't LISTEN to them when they say "I want kids, but not today"! So rethink your decision before you act on it. I'll have to do the same....take care. God bless!


ally - September 26th, 2005 11:49 PM

I agree with L, i think its tragic that in order to have a baby u have to trick men into it. Its not the way to go about it and i think its very underhanded.


get a grip - September 27th, 2005 7:59 AM

regardless of wether men dont want babies at first and are then all over them, you should NOT make up someones decision for them, how would you like it if he sneakily booked you in for an abortion, wake up ladies some of you on here are really insensitive bastards


Tired of the judgment - September 30th, 2005 6:37 PM

If a woman is trying to get pregnant, then that is her choice! Kaz you call these women stupid, but so are you for wishing bad on other people....be careful what you wish for. I have stopped taking my birth control to lower my blood pressure (and it worked), and my boyfriend knows.....he also knows that i want a child. He said that he wanted a child with me, we are getting married, but i need to be pregnant now for personal reasons. Some men don't long for a child like a woman does....especially if they already have some! We aren't using protection, so if it happens it happens!


geez!!! - September 30th, 2005 7:09 PM

As for the last comment, I am tired of women thinking everything is their "choice", how selfish! I feel sorry for the child that comes into that situation because the Father will likely not be in the picture.


To: Tired - September 30th, 2005 7:11 PM

#1, This post is about women getting pregnant on the sly without their partners knowing about it. Your situation has nothing at all to do with the topic. Read it. #2, Kaz made her post in MAY. Again, Read it. #3, Read it! ~rolls eyes~


To the two that responded to m - October 1st, 2005 11:35 PM

Did i say something about the time at which Kaz wrote her answer? NO so u read and learn to do so! It is not your place to judge the decisions of others......if they get pregnant, they will have to live with the consequences of their actions....not you! SO get a life, and stop worrying about everyone elses!


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