Sleeping On The Futon

29 Replies
JLorenzo - March 18

Lately, for whatever reason, my wife and I have found that it is better for both of us if we sleep separately. She is 8 months pregnant and breathing heavily and has intermittent snoring. Those two things keep me awake, which elevates my frustration and ends up keeping both of us awake. So I have found refuge on the futon. Both of us work and need our rest. I assume this is only a temporary thing. But the older people we ask about this thinks we have marital problems. The young couples actually understand and have used this practice. Does anyone think it is weird? It seems like when we lay down, it takes my wife 5 minutes before she is sleeping, and three minutes after that, she is snoring. It takes me usually a half hour to fall asleep. But when she starts snoring, I get frustrated and anxious. Then, the physical symptoms come. Dry mouth, frequent urination etc. Three hours later, I am still awake and she is too because I have to keep getting up. The futon has been a godsend for us. She encouraged me to go down there and now, just a few days later, she thinks I should fight it out and try to sleep in the bed. But when I do, she gets mad at me for keeping her awake! What should a husband do?!?!

 

Liz - March 18

I am 36 and don't think it's weird. You need sleep for sanity and have to do what works for you and your wife!! Best of luck to you, your wife and your impending birth.

 

JLorenzo - March 18

Thanks Liz for the rea__surance. I love both my wife and "almost" daughter. I want to do what is best for all of us...Good luck with you as well!

 

Billie - March 18

WOW!! That's is the same thing that my husband and I go through. Except he sleeps on the futon because he snores and keeps me awake. Also I get night sweats and I need the fan on. He gets really cold so he takes a blanket and goes to the other room. Some people think we're crazy too but I get the best nights of sleep when he's not in the bed. I just hope that once this baby is born, everything will return to normal and we will sleepin the same bed again.

 

JLorenzo - March 18

Amen Billie! I hope we get back to normal as well in May when this baby comes! People think we are crazy for not sleeping in the same bed! I say to them, when it comes to sleep, it is business!!! Keep me posted okay?

 

Lovely - March 18

I think it's noble that you are willing to sleep on the futon-no doubt the less comfortable of the 2 options- to get sllep, and let your wife sleep. As for the 'older' people who think there are marital problems... who has to know you sleep in separate beds. Your marriage can't be suffering that much.. hee hee.. your wife IS pregnant after all! :)

 

Julie - March 18

I remember when I was pregnant with my son my husband and I had a queen size bed and I could not get comfortable with him in the bed with me so when I was about 8 months I started sleeping in our spare bedroom. It worked out well otherwise I wouldn't have gotten any sleep! I don't think it is weird at all. Once my son was born I was back in our bed again.

 

JLorenzo - March 18

Well thanks for the peace of mind everyone! I appreciate it. As long as my wife and I don't have a problem, I guess there is no problem! I am sure that in 7 weeks we will be waking up for other reasons!

 

Rita - March 18

Me and my husband have been having some of the same problems. We bought those breath strips(he's the snoring one) Those helped alot because it encouraged him to breath out of his nose it really opens your nasal pa__sage. Good Luck

 

Billie - March 18

Those breathe-right strips did nothing for me. Yeah, it took some of the snoring away, but my husband sleeps with his mouth open. So when I am laying on my left side ( like they recommend), I have the most horrible night time breath in my face!! My husband has slept with his mouth open since he was a kid. He had broken his nose and got used to sleeping with his mouth open. When I wasn't pregnant, it didn't really bother me that much. I could turn the other way really easily. Now I sleep with a pillow inbetween my legs and another under my belly. It's really hard to change postions at night with all of that. Since he's been on the futon, I get a full night of sleep (except for the bathroom trips) and I am not cranky in the morning. It works out great for us!!

 

JLorenzo - March 18

My wife usually breathes through her nose as well, so the sound she makes is not even a snore. It is a weird sound! She woke herself up and said, "what was that?" I said to her, "that was you honey!" She denied it and I responded, "well it wasn't me because I wasn't sleeping because of those sounds you are making!" It was at that point when the futon called out to me...

 

Billie - March 18

LOL!!!

 

Michelle - March 18

Im due in 3 weeks and my husband sleeps on the couch now . He knows if he doesnt then Ill end up on it before the night is over. It hasn't affected our relationship at all. I just cant get comfortable, EVER.

 

JLorenzo - March 18

Well put Michelle! I sit there in bed thinking, "I love this women and I am partly to blame for doing this to her, but I swear to God, if she doesn't stop snoring I am going to pull out my ear drums and put them in her water gla__s!" Besides that, she falls asleep like 12 seconds after she lays down. i don't even have a chance to get to sleep before she starts snoring or whatever the heck you want to call it. But it sounds like a tugboat. I made the comment one night, "honey, I don't know if you are snoring or if a jet plane has landed on our roof." That didn't go over well!

 

Billie - March 18

hahahahah.... a tugboat... hahahahah

 

tiffani - March 18

I think it's really sweet of you to surrender and sleep on the futon. I don't think it's wierd at all, I think you're in survival mode. You need sleep, and if sleeping on the futon is the only way to get it, then so be it. As for what the older people think, that just b__ws my mind that they can't understand how difficult it is to sleep beside a very pregnant woman. I remember my poor husband being so exhausted from MY sleepless nights in the last couple of months. I was getting up every hour to either take some Tums or empty my bladder, and since he is a light sleeper, he woke up everytime I did. Try to reason with your wife, explain to her that you love her very much, but that you have got to get some sleep. Maybe you could alternate nights sleeping with her. Or sleep with her on the weekends. Compromise might work best here. You definitely don't want to argue with a woman who is 8 months pregnant, it's a losing battle. :o) Billie~ I can totally relate to the hubby sleeping with his mouth open and breathing all his "night breath" in your face. I got so frustrated one night that I bunched up the top of the sheets and put them in his mouth. Caught him off guard and made him a bit mad, but he sooooo deserved it. He also has a bad habit of rolling over and elbowing me in the head/face. Man that is no way to wake up. I wish we had a futon. :o)

 

JLorenzo - March 18

Tiffani, once again thanks for the advice. I think I will be a little more a__sertive on weekends. Try to stick it out a bit longer in bed. But at least it is nice knowing we have the futon, just in case. Shoving the sheets in his mouth is hilarious! If I did that to my wife, would you guys call the police after a week of not receiving any annoying questions from me? Because she may kill me...

 

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