Some Advice Please

12 Replies
Lisa - October 13

My husband and I have decided to try to get pregnant even though I am going to go back to school in the next year. I know this will be challenging but I want to do both. Also it has been three months of ttc and nothing is happening. I am very upset about this , I feel like a door is getting slammed shut in my face every time I start my period. I know that it can take a few months but I am very emotionally invested in getting pregnant.I have a wonderful caring spouse who is very supportive but I don't think he understands what getting pregnant means from a female viewpoint. Does anyone have any suggestions(and don't tell me to relax and let nature take its' course, I've tried)? Also I would love to hear from anyone who is parenting and going to school at the same time.

 

Kristi - October 13

Lisa, I understand your flusteration after a year of ttc my husband and I finally got pregnant. I had finally given up on getting pregnant as we were moving and had no house at them moment. Thats when it happend, we found out in march we were pregnant and are now hoping our house will be finished before I deliver. We currently live with my family. I am also going to school but at the time I had taken a semester off. I konw it will be hard to do both but with support from my husband I konw i can do it. If you have his support I am sure yhou can too. I know how disappointing it can be to discover each month you are not pregnant as it was a year and then when I finally realized I was late I was very leary for awhile, until the u.s. actually. Just hang in there and it will happen. Good luck

 

Lisa - October 13

You've really only been trying for three months; that is not a long time. It took my husband and I about a year and two months to conceive. Every women who wants to get pregnant is emotionally invested in it as well; it's not easy when you are hoping to be pregnant and month after month find your period coming. Buying tampons suddenly becomes a very sad occasion. But, you do have to try to take the stress down as I am convinced that is what held me up getting pregnant. I was too stressed about lots of things and getting pregnant was one of them.

 

M.A. - October 13

We were trying to for a year too. I've read and heard that it does take at least that long. I had a friend that didn't get pregnant for 2 1/2 years. Plus she had miscarriages after. Now she's got a very healthy boy a little over one year old. Then she decided to have her tubes tied. Anyway, I wasn't as worried about it as my husband was. For some reason he thought he couldn't have kids. He was driving me crazy about it. And I told him the same thing I'm telling you. After exactly a year, I was pregnant. You don't want to hear about nature taking it's time. But God knows when you are truly ready. And it will happen at the exact right time. God bless you!

 

use your comp chair - October 13

3 months is not a long time to hit the panic b___tons. Get your husband to sit on a chair, you on top. That is how my baby came. nothing is going to escape. If u wonder how i know when and how my baby came it was cause we were having problems at the time and s_x in that month was perhaps just that one time

 

cont - October 13

sorry nothing is going to escape out in that position, all the best, they also say try not to go to the toilet after, hold a bit so u dont flush anything out

 

Didn't Stress - October 13

When we were trying, I read everything I could on the subject. I saw that too much stress can cause problems in that area for the man and the woman.

 

Lisa - October 14

thanks for the tips, I am trying to remain still for at least 10 mins after s_x as I have read that this can help. Kristi, glad to know things are working out for you with school it is nice to hear some positives about a similar situation. I have tried to remain relaxed about the situation but some days it is hard and I am a bit of a maniac about the whole situation. Also I feel additional pressure b/c I am getting married to my "husband" (we have been together for ten years ) in little over a year so I would like to give birth three months before the wedding and have sometime to get in shape and adjust to being a new mom before the wedding. So it needs to happen asap or else I will have to go back on the pill until just before or just after the wedding.

 

STACE - October 14

LISA IT TOOK 3 YEARS FOR MY PARTNER AND I TO GET PREGNANT AND I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, IT'S HARD AND FRUSTRATING BUT IT WILL HAPPEN JUST HANG IN THERE. GOOD LUCK.

 

karine - October 14

I heard that it takes a long time to get pregnant, especially when you want it the most, let go of the idea, start planning other things and youll see before you know it, youll be pregnant, thats how it happened with my daughter. After 2 mts, i was depressed, and said, oh well ill go to school and finish it, well..sure enough it happened lol on the 3rd month. and with my son, i didnt think of it, we said we wanted another one, and on the second month we were pregnant. And with this one, well 1 month after deciding on a last one, we were pregnant. Try to have s_x every 2 day. And not think about getting pregnant too much. youll see itll happen, and when it does, all that wait will be worth it

 

K - October 14

This beats all.... my motherand father in-law tried for 9 YEARS. They finally gave up and adopted. They had the new baby home and 6 weeks later found out they were pregnant. (and before you ask - No cheating on either side for any of you bashers out there). My hubby and I tried for 6 months - finally got pregnant. Now I am preg for my 2nd. This time it took 3 weeks after I went off the pill. Don't every try to guess your body. It has a mind of it's own!! Good luck. Your time will come.

 

~m~ - October 14

Lisa, I feel your pain! My hubby and I tried for this baby for over a year. In the process, we had 4 miscarriages. Count your blessings that miscarriage isn't the problem. Trust me, that hurts MUCH worse than getting an unwanted period. Just hang in there. It can be hard, I know. As for the school thing, I am in the process of getting my Master's Degree. It is the middle of the semester, and I am a little over 6 weeks along. My nausea and vomiting are making life miserable, so I am wishing I wasn't having to devote so much time to school.... on top of my job. That being said, a smooth pregnancy shouldn't interfere with school. Just make sure when it happens that you arrange things ahead of time with your professors. (i.e. taking the final early if necessary, etc). Best of luck to you!! And I'm sending baby dust your way ~*~*~*~*~

 

Lisa - October 16

Thanks for the advice, I have yet more questions! Those of you who have had children already, how long does it take to lose the weight? I have some concerns b/c the thought of gaining weight (even for a good reason) completly galls me. I have some body image issues as it is so this makes me nervous I don't want to get depressed about it later. Speaking of I am also very nervous about p.p depression. Some Advice? to ~m~ I was sorry to hear that you had to experience, I feel a bit trite saying that I am upset in comparason. I guess it is relative to one's situation. Glad you are doing well now. Best wishes.

 

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