Someone Please Explain

6 Replies
HELP! - September 7

Ok I know nothing is 100% in preventing pregnancy, but can someone please give me something to go on as to how I am finding myself pregnant when I used protection? I do not know how to break the news to the guy as I can't offer an explanation as to how or why it happened. He already has 2 children and another 2 on the way and I do not feel that he is going to be thrilled to hear this news that I have found out I am especially when we have always used condoms. Please someone give me something to go on here as to how I am meant to explain....

 

Viv - September 7

Why are you choosing to put this on your shoulders alone? He buys the condoms, decides at what moment to put them on and take them out/off. He is as much at fault as you are. He is the one who has the explaining to do!Evidently he likes fathering children. Is it possible that he was subconsciously not as careful as he should have been? Which said, if it is important not to get pregnant and abortion is not an option, then you should be using two methods together, condoms and BC pills. My sympathy for you in your predicament.

 

HELP! - September 7

I'm at a loss as to how to explain to him how or why this has happened when we do use condoms, he isn't someone who is going to accept the fact that nothing is 100% but I have nothing more to offer that that as an explanation.

 

Erin - September 7

definitely. If he already has 2 with 2 on the way, it sounds like he could be particularly fertile! I would consider using 2 methods as well. But for now, it is NOT just your fault, and he has no reason to be mad at you... takes 2 to tango. I got pregnant using condoms only, and now she's 4. You don't need to offer any explanation, any time you have s_x- no matter how much protection is use- there is change you could get pregnant, but of course you knew that :) Don't let him get you down, this should be a happy time for you, and it's not just about him.

 

dalesgirl - September 7

condoms can leak. if they're not removed properly sperm can leak from around the opening. if it's acquired a tiny hole somehow. if it wasn't put on properly it can leak around the opening. they can also break during s_x. sometimes they come loose just after ejaculation and if it's removed improperly it will leak from the opening. many different reasons things can go wrong with just a condom.

 

HELP! - September 7

I know he has no reason to be, just know he will be, he will not be accepting of the fact. He is extremely fertile this much I do know. With his current situation with his ex and the children with the twins due to be born anyday I don't feel this is going to be accepted very easily. It's a tough situation, and Im not sure what to do as of yet. The big hurdle is going to be telling him, he and I are not on best terms at the moment and have decided it best to not continue contact, however he does not know that I am keeping this from him. Thanks for your responses, appreciated.

 

Ellen - September 7

It sounds to me like he may not be using the condoms correctly. If the the birth control method, whichever you choose (condom, pill, etc) is not used correctly the chance of pregnancy goes up dramatically. I understand that you may be worried about him being angry but he is as responsible as you are and you should not allow him to make you feel at fault. If he wants to be 100% sure he is not going to get a woman pregnant he should practice abstinance - the only 100% method. I do feel for you and wish you all the best whatever happens with the father.

 

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