Teen Mothers All Wrong

15 Replies
t - September 6

Why is it that teen mothers are constantly trying to justify there actions? I assume these teen pregnancy's are not planned, so it is basically the outcome of being very irresponsible. Ok I know that accidents do happen, and fair enough not everyone agrees with abortion. But generally I think you'll find that most teen pregnancys are the result of not taking the proper precautions when having s_x - its not hard to use a condom or go on the pill is it!! And then they scream about how responsible they are and what a great mother they will make - yeah sure you'll love and care for your baby, but its not exactly ideal is it! How anyone can say that its fine to be a teenage mum I really do not know.

 

SaRaH - September 3

I am not for abortion, but I do think it is the woman or childs place so to speak. I do not think that parents propperly educate thier children on s_x, having babies, or STDs. I also believe that the parents of the teenage moms end up raising their grand children, but who can make them understand that they should not be having unprotected s_x or s_x at all?? It is up to the parents and up to the female as to wether they get all the information on s_x and the out come of it. This is also 2004 and alot of teens think it is ok to get pregnant and alot of them want to be pregnant to find that special love and bond with someone. I dont know!! ?? !! >??

 

Kara - September 3

I totally agree with you T.

 

britt - September 3

I hope that you are talking about kids like 14 and 15 because I am 19 and I have a great full time job, a fiancee I've been with for 5 years, and a nice apartment so I don't wanna hear that I'm not ready for my child or that I'm not grown up or responsible because that is bullsh*t. and who are you to say that women or girls who are pregnant wont make good mothers...and you know what..think way back when your grandmother or even great grandmother had children? how old were they? My great grandmother was married and had my grandmother when she was 13!!! and she was a great mother and all her kids turned out fine..so unless you can magically see into the future, you cannot say whether ANYONE will be a good or bad mother.

 

SaRaH - September 3

I was refering to 13, 14, 15 even 16 year olds. That is not my problem that they are having kids. If they are metally able to handle the cituation, then go for it. Also what is done is done. No one can turn back time!!! I wish EVERYONE the BEST of luck!!

 

Judy - September 3

If you are below the age of 18 you are considered a teenage mother and it is wrong! You can't take care of yourself mentally, financially, etc. so you can't take care of a child. Any job you can get under the age of 18 would not make enough money to adequately support yourself and a child. I am sick of supporting these teen mothers (again under 18) through my tax dollars. Obviously, they can't use birth control correctly so how can they raise a child correctly? Think about it......

 

Viv - September 3

Good exchange of viewpoints here! Thank heaven that teen pregnancy is on the downtrend. Can we divide the problem into accidental and purposeful? Accidental would be "never wanted or thought to get pregnant". Purposeful would be "wanted someone to love me". Purposeful would subdivide into "thought the child would give me love" and "thought the boyfriend would commit if I got pregnant". Accidental needs s_x education (abstinence has failed). Purposeful needs a better understanding of her own neediness. In both instances the failure is one of parents, or failing that, then of the education system. Children having children in significant numbers shows a failure in the structure of society. What changes do we need to make?

 

Jess - September 3

Interesting viewpoints. Brit, you sound very mature for your age and make a good point to this case. T you also make a good case for this situation. I agree with both of you and with Viv aswell. Being a teen mom is not the most ideal situation to have. Teenagers are not financially ready, nor have they had engouh time to better themselves through education, work and/or life experiences. I think better s_xual education is needed within the school systems, that provide hard and factual information for young teens today. In response to Brit's comment about what makes a good mother, I totally agree that age does not dictate whether a woman will be a good mother or not. Keep up the good work ladies. Thinking about these issues and engaging in insightful debates helps find possible solutions.

 

Britt - September 3

thanks jess...and in response viv...I see your point, but I don't think that the failure is in the parents or the education system, it is in the mind in which you are trying to teach. If kids are wanting to have s_x, they are going to have s_x no matter how much someone tells them no. and whether or not they use protection (which don't get me wrong, I think they should) is going to be up to them..I know that this example is nothing compared to pregnancy, but it's the same general idea.........it's like tanning. everyone likes it because it makes you look good. there are ways of protecting yourself, (sunscreen) and everywhere you go people are telling you to protect yourself. but not everyone uses it and sometimes if you don't use protection, you could get skin cancer. S_x: everyone does it because it makes them feel good or loved. there are ways of protection (condoms, birth control) and everywhere you go people are telling you to protect yourself. but not everyone uses it and sometimes, if you don't protect yourself and there is a chance of pregnancy or disease. I don't see anyone on here who say teens that tan are not resposible and can't take care of themselves because they don't use sunscreen. i wrote too much, i have to continue on another answer page..lol

 

britt - September 3

okay...continued.......So your telling me you will support or feel sorry for teens who could have provented themselves from skin cancer but wont support or feel sorry for teens who could have provented themselves from pregnancy or STD? you see someone with skin cancer and you say "Oh how terrible, I feel so bad" but you see a pregnant teen or one with a STD and you say "oh well, it's their own d__n fault"..... I may be reading way to far into this, but everything you do in life has a side effect. again, I'm not promoting unprotected teen s_x, but come on, what good is it going to do to look down on someone because their lifestyle does not meet up to your standards. I would say just deal with your own children in the way you wish and let everyone else do the same. and before anyone jumps on my back by saying "How could you compare pregnancy to tanning" let me just explain that it was just an example of the way that everything you do in life has a side effect...

 

leigh - September 4

Hi, I'm 17 right now and I am pregnant, and my boyfriend(he's 19) of 2 yrs have planned our pregnancy. This was by far not an accident. Yes, of course we might not be financially stable as someone older than us, but we are ready as much as 1st time parents can be. I'll be 18 when I have my baby and We have our own place and I am going to school and so is he and this was just the right time in our life. We didn't get pregnant for the kicks of it, just because I am going to be a young mother doesn't mean I won't be the best mother I can be. Whoever might judge me from planning a pregnancy at such a young age, well that's your god given right but I know what I'm doing, and I know what I want out of my life. So please don't put us all down, there are a few of us out there that have responsibility and are mature to handle a baby at 17! Thanks.

 

Britt - September 4

Leigh-- I'm very happy for you, don't let anyone say anything that will make you feel bad about your choices in life. You are your own person and you have every right to do whatever you feel you want to do...My mother always told me that if everyone in this world waited until they were financially, mentally, physically or even emotionally ready to have a baby, then there would be no babies in this world! :-) I wish the best to you and your baby and good luck!

 

kellie - September 4

i say it is fine to be a teen mother because i did use the pill and i did use a condom Havent you ever heard of becoming preg even with those precautions the only real way to not get preg is to not have s_x and well since that is not a real reality for alot of teens then those of us that take the responsibility and still have the kids take up for what we have done by making the choice not to kill a life..yeah yeah i am not even going to go into the abortion debate with anyone it is to highley overrated. i had my first child at 18 and yes i was a teen still in high school but still graduated 18 days later and still have a great job awesome hubby and wonderful house and i would not trade my three kids soon to be 4 for nothing in the world. soo i too hope you are talking about those that even though we took the precautions still stood up for our actions and took the bad with the good and i can honestly say all mine was good I love my daughter no matter what age i was when i had her...if you havent been there then you dont understand and have no right worrying about it...instead trying being a responsible parent and teaching your kids that no s_x is the only way to go because otherwise that is your opinion when your c hild comes home and tells you she is going to be a mommy at the age of 16-18

 

t - September 6

Britt - I have to agree with Jess, you do sound very mature for your age, and I totally respect what you have said here. Although I do have my opinons (as does anyone) I can honestly say that each one of you girls have made a lot of sense in what you have said. I'm very sorry if I have made it sound like I'm looking down at any of you for being young mums, I probably have sounded pretty ignorant - my apologies!! I will still stand by what I say, that it is not an ideal situation to be in and financially I think it is very hard for most teens to try and cope. And I do hope very much that my daughter does not come home pregnant at 16, but of course anything is possible and yes I would deal with it in the very best way I could, offering as much support as necessary. Teen pregnancy are not just gonna stop I know that, but I hope a lot of young girls that are s_xually active take note that being a young mum is hard - try to wait!! Anyway good luck to you all, and thank you for your opinions. x

 

Keira - September 6

I am 17 and soon to be a mother, I did everything I possibly could to try and prevent falling pregnant I was on the Pill and used condom, I was also told I would never have children and here I am now pregnant, I admitt I am not fully prepared for what lies ahead but Im going to try my best, no matter what age you are you can never be fully prepared for raising a child. I understand everyone has different point of views, but I think it is very easy for someone to say teen pregnancy is wrong, and in some cases I would agree with them, yes its wrong if it was done on purpose and you have been properly educated on safe s_x and ignore it. But I ask you what would you do if your teenage daughter or son came home and told you they were pregnant, or they are going to be a daddy? It can happen to anyone. Judy: Yes Im under 18, and yes Im pregnant. I am still working full time and so is my boyfriend, I manage a modelling agency and earn about $700 per week and my boyfriend earns around $450-$500 per week. We are only relying on ourselves and not on your tax dollar, so you cant say that everyone under 18 is not mentally or financially able to take care of themselves, we are prepared as much as was possibly can be for our new baby, but as I said earlier no matter how old you are you can never be fully prepared for raising a child.

 

SC - September 6

I'm 18 and got pregnant at 17. I was on birth control and we did use a comdom! But, Teen mother's, grown women..Tell me is anyone ever really ready to have a baby??? "NO." My daughter teaches me new things every day. And I thank god every day that I didn't get that abortion. So these are issuse you stay the hell out of unless you've been there!! A mother's a mother no matter what the age.

 

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