To Sad To Cry

26 Replies
Lynn - April 21

On the 18th I had a beautiful baby girl named Hailey. Everyone loves her, she is perfect. My problem is my fiance. He hasn't held her, kissed her, or anything. He refuses to have anything to do with her and it is breaking my heart. She is such an amazing baby, she barely ever cries, she cuddles and smiles non stop. He is cold towards her and treats her as if she is a disease. I can't stop crying wondering why he refuses to love her or at the very least kiss our precious little girl. I need help please anyone who has been in a similar situation what can I do to make him love her?

 

jb - April 21

Oh Lynn, I am so sorry to hear that. I am sure deep down her does love her. Have you talked to him about it? What are his reasons? I will keep you in my prayers. I hope everything turns out okay.

 

monica - April 21

I believe in time he will change and fall in love with her just as you love her too. Some men are afraid of baby's and as the child grows they start interacting with them more.

 

Sam - April 21

You can not make him do anything. Is he the father of the baby? Our men react to pregnancy and birth differently that we do. He could be having some trouble dealing with being a dad. He could be feeling overwhelmed or scared. He's probably dealing with loss-of-freedom issues and who knows what else. I think you need to have a very long talk with him. Start off by explaining how he's making you feel. Dont blurt out,"Why dont you love our baby?" That might make him defensive. If he doesn't know whats wrong, perhaps you can talk him into counseling? If it isnt resolved, I'm sorry but you may want to rethink keeping the baby in that environment. That baby can feel negativity. As she grows up, she will sense he father's feelings for her and that can lead to all sorts of problems for her. Not to mention the stress its putting on you!! I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope everything turns out perfectly!!!

 

lynn - April 21

he is the father but since I am hispanic she has black curly hair and dark eyes. He is white and says she does not look like him at all. I can't help that my genes gave her these characteristics. Sometimes I think this is just him looking for an excuse out. I don't know what's going on he is normally such an amazingly caring man I love him so much but don't know what to do.

 

Misty - April 21

Sounds almost like he is just being childish. The baby come out looking like you and it is a girl. I'm sure he had things all worked out in his mind what he would want his first baby to look like. Kind of like how we imagine what our wedding will be like. What he needs to get though is that this is his child and it is just too bad if she isn't what he expected. I'm sorry for what you are going through. Becoming a new mother is hard enough without having a distant man walking around. I hope this all works out for you. And that man needs to do a hell of a lot of making up for all of this. Perhaps take you to dinner or something. That actually might be perfect. Find someone to watch your daughter and tell your hubby you want to go to dinner. Then you will have a place to sit and talk where he might open up about his behavior.

 

leslie - April 21

Maybe he is jelous of the baby??... maybe he thinks you are not paying any attention to him since the baby arrived???...could that be a posibility?

 

minx - April 21

if he has doubts and to put this behind you, get DNA tested. when that is out of the way, you can start getting him involved in taking care of the baby. spending time with her alone and with the DNA test leaving no doubts in his head will (hopefully) wake up the daddy instinct in him.

 

... - April 21

What is curly? Like black african curly hair? Then that is funny. Never heard of having a hispanic background can definitely produce black curly hair. Im hispanic too. But like what minx said get dna tested.

 

leslie - April 21

curly means with little curls!! She never mentioned African hair!

 

... - April 21

leslie-- I just want to be sure.

 

lynn - April 22

little brown curls if you go to www.growingfamily.com and look in the webnursery under lincoln, NE births at St. Elizabeth's hospital for April 18th babies you can see what I mean her name is Hailey M. Thanks for everyone's opinions. I'm really glad you guys are here to help.

 

... - April 22

Looks like she's got half-white features. I can see hints of wavy hair (not curly). Pretty baby , by the way. I think your husband needs to read up on mixed children --that they could take any genes between the Mom and Dad's side. Or do the DNA testing. Good luck and all the best.

 

... - April 22

And oh, my Mom is a pediatrician and I know this for a fact-- BABIES CHANGE THEIR LOOKS AS THEY GROW. Some get lighter as they get older, and some get darker. The hair from blonde to dark brown for ex. and from dark hair to red. I've seen it happen in my Mom's clinic :)). Eye color changes too. Maybe when Hailey gets bigger her eye color will be light brown-- which is what you usually get in mixed kids. The list goes on and on. Your boyfriend just don't have enough knowledge about these things. It's pretty ignorant of him and he's too quick to judge. Encourage him to read up--or get some books for him to read.

 

nhb - April 22

She's SOOOOO beautiful! I don't know what's wrong with your fiancee, except maybe he's just kind of in shock he is really a daddy . . . but I'm so happy for you for your daughter! She's just so beautiful!! I have a little baby boy, and am pg again, I hope to have a girl as beautiful as yours!! Good luck, and I'm so sorry your fiancee is being so dumb right now.

 

babydoll - April 22

Thats silly for him to think that way. My mother has blonde hair and blue eyes and my father is italian. I have black hair and dark eyes....i think the dark features are just overpowering to the light features.

 

babydoll - April 22

i just saw her picture...Beautiful!

 

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