Usually Kind Husband Missed Sonogram To Play With His Nephew

20 Replies
obsessingpreggy - October 13

My husband is an incredibly kind man who lapsed a tiny bit and I can't let it go. He made plans to go see his nephew the same time I had my first sonogram and I stupidly told him not to worry about it. Now I obsess over the fact he was playing with a child that is not his instead of catching a glimpse of his own child. I expressed myself to him once I realized it upset me and now I wish I could let it go. Your thoughts?

 

M.A. - October 13

You usually don't see much in the first u.s. anyway. I'd worry about it if he didn't care to see the gender or all of the others that show detail.

 

Lisa*9 - October 13

how many weeks pg are you if it is not your 20 weel one don't worry about it. Some fathers miss a birth altoghter due to work.

 

obsessingpreggy - October 13

Thank you for posting replies so quickly. It helps. I am very hormonal and probably irrational right now. I am only 10 weeks along and I am used to my husband travelling for work. I understand that he will need to miss a lot and who knows if he will be here for the birth (though I know he will make every effort). It's just that he was in town and free and it upset me that his nephew took precidence. If I had insisted he would have come, but I did not know I was going to be this upset. I felt very alone. It did not help that I found out I have a health issue that turned up on the sonogram that may cause problems down the line if it worsens.

 

obsessingpreggy - October 14

Anyone else feel like your husband is not as into it as you are?

 

hey. The bright side! - October 14

At least you know he'll be crazy about your children, if he's crazy about his nephew! Try to let it go. Just tell him how you feel and that you don't want him to miss another ultrasound- then let it go away. Good luck!

 

Lisa - October 14

I think most men are like that; to them it becomes real when you are in labour and then they see the baby and they really feel they can be apart of it. My husband is not as excited about it as I would like him to be; but he can't experience what I am going though either. I try not to get mad at him sometimes, but then sometimes I can't control the hormones either. I think he cares... :)

 

Sheesh - October 14

Well, he did ask you and especially if the 'nephew plans' were made before your sonogram was scheduled...Again, he DID ask you. So let it go--for HIS sake!

 

let it go - October 14

let it go, let it go, let it go.... There are so many other things to get worked up about - this isn't one of them. Just because he wasn't there dosn't mean a thing!!! My DH is deployed and is missing the ENTIRE thing... He will be home for birth - so that is what matters. Not some silly dr appt. He will be there when it's born. Get over it :)

 

Ranya - October 14

Hey girl, don't worry about it too much, there are so many other moments you can share, like the first kick, the next u/s etc...I don't think my husband came to my first visit, I'm not so sure now (38 weeks), but I had a printout (not really all that much to see). Don't forget that men are different and you are hormonal (and will be for quite some time :))...You know, if you can afford it, you could schedule another u/s just to make up the one he missed, it might make you feel better...Congrats and good luck with your pregnancy!

 

Lisa - October 14

I wouldn't worry about it , men are pretty blase, until the baby actually comes then they are mush! Just tell him that it upset you that he didn't go. It is possible that he didn't relize how important it was to you that he be there. I am trying to get pregnant and I am quite obsessed as well while my hubby is like " no big deal". The thought of getting pregnant makes me very emotional, so I know where you are coming from. I think it is just one of the differeces between men and women.

 

Sheesh - October 14

Yeah, but this time it's actually HER who said 'not to worry' about it= no big deal. Wasn't the guy.

 

~m~ - October 14

I know how you feel. I get my feelings hurt easily, too. But we just have to remember we are pregnant, and hormonal. Even though you told him no big deal, men should know by now that we don't always say what we mean. I guess it's a curse! :o) Anyhoo, hang in there. Now that he knows it upset you, I'm sure he'll go the extra mile to make it up to you and be there for everything else. Tell him that was his only allowed lapse in judgment... hee hee. Good Luck!

 

MJM - October 14

My husband did not go to the doctor with me until we had our second sono and found out we were having a boy. The first one is not the "big" appointment anyway. And keep in mind you did say not to worry about it and when I tell my dh that he doesnt. With our first child the 2nd sono is the only appt he went to and same with this pg so far. REally why do the hubbys need to be at every appt? As long as he is there for the important ones that is all that I care about.

 

Rhonda - October 14

I tend to agree that hubby just does not think of it as real until the baby gets here my hubby was with me at my second sono (I had my first done at my very first doc visit did not know they were gonna do it) and we saw our little peanut moving his little arm/leg buds ect...that did not seem to impress hubby much at all he did ask what the little round thing was in there (yolk sac) but that was all then he was with me when I had to have a level 2 and I was around 17wks so our little one looked like a baby at that point and the pics were very clear....he still did not seem all that impressed and this is his first and we found out we are having a boy so he was happy with that but did not show it that much I just know cause he had to run out and brag to his buddies so I think he is going to be more into it once the little guy is born my ex husband was the same way when I had my first but he turned out to be a great dad....(just not a good hubby) ha ha lol so don't lose hope most men are like that at first then when baby gets here and they can hold and see him/her they totally fall in love....

 

Rachel.R - October 14

Yeah, i would be a little disappointed, especially seeing as how it was the first. My boyfriend got the day off work to come to my first ultrasound, then he missed one i had a 15 weeks (that one was cause of being rushed to hospital a day earlier) he came to my 19 week one, and then missed my 21 week one(they had to do another one, cause baby wouldnt move, so they couldnt see the heart and things properly) My boyfriend hasnt come to any of my appointments with my obstetrition either. It doesnt really bother me. But all i wanted was him to come to the first. So maybe talk to him about it...

 

tiffani~17 days to go!! - October 15

He still sounds like an incredibly kind man. You told him to go and play with his nephew, so that's what he did. You see, most men aren't capable of deciphering what we REALLY mean when we say the opposite, as is the case with your hubby. I'm sure if he realized how much it meant to you, your kind man would have been there in a heartbeat. In all fairness to him, you should let it go, plain and simple. He really isn't guilty of anything. :o)

 

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