What Am I To Do

7 Replies
WEYA - April 11

this guy and I have been hooking up for the past year but have know each other through our college years. that's like 6 years know were both in grad school and really have great careers a head of us. I said all that to say this I know him very well and he's the type of guy that planes everything down to what he wares week to week. he has planed to have children after 3 years of marriage and has always made that clear to me. well 2 weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant and I don't know what to do he's a great friend and we see each other like ever 3 months I'm not sure how to tell but I'm not aborting my child. I already know because he has told me how he feels about children that are conceived before marriage and I also know that he would provide for my child but would not want to see our child. I'm thinking of just not telling him I don't need him and my child wont know him because he wont allow it so why stress my self out and rise the health of my child. maybe I'll tell him after the birth but right know I don't need to be neglected or pushed away. we'll be graduating from grad school in a month and our jobs are moving us to different places in the world he has chose to work in Africa and I have picked were I'll be working yet but I need some kind of advice about this situations he leaves on the 1st of June and so do I our numbers will change and before the pregnancy there's nothing for us to keep in contact for. should I let him go not mess his planes up or should I tell him and let him decide what's best.

 

Foxy - April 11

You should tell him you're pregnant whatever happens, because it's only fair that he should know, even if he never wants to see the child. Your child may want to see it's father when it grows up and it'll make it easier if you have a contact address for him and he is aware at least of your child's existence. Children are often curious about where they came from and it can leave them feeling empty if they haven't got a clue what a parent looked like. Even if he turns out to be a complete b___d and decides he won't see his child you owe it to your child to have a chance.It may also be important from a medical point of view, I mean if your child needs to know anything about it's family history.

 

X - April 11

Tell him and get it off your shoulders. If he wants to be in the child's life he can contact you when he's ready.Give him your parent's number or something that won't change for a long time for him to call when he'd find the guts to do so. At least, this way-- you can always look at your child in the eye and say you have told his/her Dad and have done your part in telling him of his / her existence.

 

tiffani - April 11

It would be really unfair to deprive your child of his/her real father. Same goes for depriving the father of his child. You are only speculating how he would react. He obviously knew this could happen as the result of having s_x, so it's not going to come as a complete shock. Honesty is always best!!!!

 

dd - April 12

you should tell him you're pregnant. you never know what will happen. if he chooses not to be a part of the baby's life, you will do fine on your own. hopefully he'll be more of a man than that. he did his fair share of making the baby. don't keep this from him just to protect his plans. plans change. best of luck to you.

 

nhb - April 12

I agree-definitely tell him and leave the burden with him--you've got too much else to deal with just being pregnant! Let him make the tough decisions about what he wants to do, don't let him off the hook and do it for him.

 

Hi WEYA - April 12

In a nut shell, TELL HIM! You can't decide for him on his reaction but you can tell him. He can't make the right decision if he has no knowledge of your pregnancy. BY ALL MEANS, TELL HIM. He needs to know.

 

jb - April 12

I think that you should tell him. We are all here to help support you. I think he would be way more upset if you waited until after the baby was born or never told him. Get it off of your shoulders now. Good Luck I will pray for you:)

 

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