When Can We Tell

9 Replies
secret keeper! - April 12

How far along should we be before we tell our friends etc about the baby? We are telling our parents right away, (I couldn't keep this from my mom!!!) but don't want to let the cat out of the bag too early to our friends in case there are complications.

 

Shannon - April 12

I told EVERYONE the day after I took the test, unfortunatly about 4 weeks later I lost the baby. It was really hard to un-tell everyone...I would sit on it for at least a few week...I'll be taking my own advice next time.

 

Shannon - April 12

Sorry...week'S

 

kenya mama - April 12

We waited til after our first Dr. appointment with both kids. We figured after that, if there were complications, it would be nice to have the support of our friends. I am now 10 weeks and we just told our friends last week. The trick is to keep the family from telling! We didn't tell them til after the first Dr. appointment either. It was kind of fun to have a little family secret all to ourselves. Congratulations and best of luck.

 

nhb - April 12

I had the same problem--I was pregnant, and told everyone, family, friends, co-workers, right away; I lost the baby @ 9 weeks. It was horrible having to go back and tell everyone that I'd lost it. This time, I told a few close friends, one sister, and my boss (just so she'd know if I DID have to take off work), and we're waiting to tell everyone else so it's not so hard if I miscarry again. It's too hard to go through all that pain, over and over to tell people that you'd lost the baby.

 

Misty - April 12

i went through the same thing as Shannon when I miscarried in Jan. I had to personally tell everyone because they didn't go around talking about it because they felt it wasn't their right. It made it very difficult. I got pregnant again immedietly after, naver even got a/f. I am about 12 weeks now and people still don't know. This time I am still not talking though because it just seems like so much drama. I would wait til' you see the hearbeat to tell people other than family and close friends. Chances of miscarriage drop to under 2 percent after that.

 

secret keeper! - April 12

so then at about 12 weeks it would be okay to tell everyone? we are getting married and will be around 9 weeks at that time. we wanted to annouce it then...but perhaps we will wait a while.

 

nhb - April 12

It's a personal decision--just depends on how you'd feel IF something happened, if you want everyone to know so they can help you through it, or if it would be too hard for you like it was for some of us . . . I'm waiting until after 12 weeks, personally, but that's just my preference after what happened before.

 

Shannon - April 12

Did any of you ladies that lost a baby get MAD because people refused to talk about it for fear of upsetting you?! I was p__sed...my own family avoided the subject like some kind of taboo. My husband was my only form of support afterwards and he will still talk about it now. I just wondered if it was only me?

 

nhb - April 12

I never got mad--I had another girl in my office who was pregnant and flaunted it in front of me constantly--throwing her ultrasound pictures around, talking about it loudly. I had a terrible experience, and I cried daily for at least a month during work because of her. I had quite the opposite problem, in fact . . . I wish she'd kept her mouth shut!! Anyone I wanted to talk to would listen, but I didn't really want to talk about it . . . too painful. Still is, really, and that was over three years ago that I lost it.

 

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