Who Is Going To Be In The Deliver Room With You

17 Replies
JB - June 16

Of course my husband will be there for me. But, both my mom and mother-in-law want to be there too. I think this is too many people and we've decided, it's a special moment for my husband and myself to share and don't want the mom's taking over. My problem is both have made it clear they expect to be there and I "need" them. We are taking labor classes so I don't feel like I "need" them there. I guess their just going to have to be p___sed at me when I tell them no. Anyone else going through the same thing or had similar experience??

 

tina - June 16

I am pretty sure you can only have two people in there with you, so you should just tell them as much as you need them, they are both not allowed and you don't want to pick between them

 

Lissi - June 16

I can't think of anything worse than having my mother in there with me. I remember how much she stressed me out just on my wedding day. I will just have my husband there. He's all I need and it's our special moment so I don't want anyone else intruding on it.

 

leslie - June 16

I am going to be there by myself..I have figured that I do things better when no one that I know is around me..I get less stressed...

 

Lissi to Leslie - June 16

Wow! I think you're really brave!

 

Lynn - June 16

My mother started to hint that she couldn't make any plans around my due date & didn't even want to have the usual 40 family members over for Thanksgiving because she "had to be available". I finally said Available for what? And she mentioned that she needed to be available for me to have the baby of course! I made it clear right then and there that she wasn't going to be in the delivery room with us. I hadn't really even planned on calling them until after the baby was born, but apparently she plans on being in the waiting room the entire time. I don't think that she realizes that sometimes labor can take a couple of hours and sometimes it can take a couple of days. Plus, I plan on b___stfeeding and want to do that as soon as possible after the baby comes and I don't really want anyone in the room with me then either (except the hubby of course).

 

Jessie - June 16

At the hospital I am going to theres no limit on the amount of people that can be in there as long as they are not in the drs way. However I am just having my hubby, mom and grandmother there. No in laws, sorry they have to wait outside I cant deal with them. Leslie you are one brave women to go in by your self, I dont have the courage to do that.

 

KrisD - June 16

Yes, Leslie, I think you're pretty brave, but sometimes I think you may have the right idea. And Lissi, I think your answer was a riot. I don't mind my Mom popping in for a visit, but when it comes to pushing, I certainly don't want anyone there but my husband! Besides, we got ourselves into this situation together! =)

 

leslie - June 16

no,no,no I don't think I am brave at all! Is just the opposite. First of all I don't want hubby there b/c I don't want him to see me in all that pain..second I have tried seen a Birth Video and there is no way I can finish watching it..its tooo much for me..and i cant imagine my hubby, he is a baby ..he would probably faint there(he is happy that I don't want him there;) third I don't want him to laugh at me a week after labor about something I did 'cause belive me, he does that ..he makes fun of stuff I do even if I get mad..that is just how he is. About my MIL there is just no way she is going to be in the room telling me "no don't do it like that, do it like this!, Don't push yet, I had a harder time than you and you sound like if they are killing you! just try to relax." etc, etc. I have heard that you turn into a whole different person and for her own good I don't want to end up screaming at her and kicking her out of the room. and like I said I feel much better when I do something hard like this by myself..this people don't know me and I don't know them so they won't care how much I scream, if I roll on the floor, if I poop or fart, if I cuss at my bf (even if he is not there:) they have just seen it all and that relaxes me more.

 

Beccah - June 16

I read a really funny post on one of these forums.. It was to the tune of: "If you weren't there for the making, you won't be there for the unveiling!" Too funny!

 

Katharine - June 16

My husband and doula will be there and probably my parents. I did not plan for my parents to be there for my first birth, but when they showed up at the hospital, the doctor asked if I wanted them to come in or wait in the waiting room. I was pushing and told him (basically) that I couldn't care less. My mom was thrilled, Dad a little less so... Anyway, they were there, but in the doorway, out of the way. My mom was unknowingly narrating (it looks like a turkey head, etc.) which was surprisingly calming for me. This time, they plan to be there, but I have made it clear that I may feel differently during this delivery and expect them to respect my wishes should I decide not to have them in the room. I know they would be disappointed, but supportive. They stuck around for a short time after the baby came for the champagne toast,etc, then left so we could bond as a family.

 

tiffani~edd 11/07/05 - June 16

When I was having my first baby, I was going to have my hubby, my best friend, and my mom in the delivery room. I ended up with a C Section, so turns out only my hubby was there to witness the grand event. I would never feel right with a male member (husband excluded of course) of my family in the delivery room, a bit too much of a sight to share with them. :o)

 

Sam - June 16

I'm leaning towards having my hubby there and having the moms there on stand-by. I have made it clear that they are to stand back until called for. A day or so ago, MIL's mother (hubby's grandma) told my MIL that she was going to come to town two weeks before my due date just so she could "attend." She was talking video cameras and regular cameras and everything! I had hubby tell her flat out NO. She can come and visit me and the baby two weeks AFTER the birth like evryone else. I could swear I heard the words "ungrateful" and "spiteful" come out of her mouth about me, but who cares?! The "birthday" is about a special moment with my hubby and our child. I don't care who's feelings I hurt! (Oh, wow, that sounds really mean. A little built up anger, can you tell?)

 

Jodie - June 16

With my first i only wanted my partner there but all the parents wanted to be there as well, this upset me for a long time but on the day i didnt care who was in the room, i could have had a marching band playing in there and i wouldnt have cared less. You'll be in so much pain that you really have no idea of whats going on around you

 

Beth S - June 16

im going through the same thing. my mom just a__sumed she was going to be in the room with me and when i had said it was only going to be my husband and myself she got soooo angry. oh well, i think her taking a week off of work and up my b___t after the baby is born is enough. they will just have to get over it

 

t - June 16

i wanted my mom with me i mean i loved that my husband was in there with me but my mom was alot of help and i needed her

 

Steph - June 16

This time around, when do get pregnant, hopefully this month!! I will have the hubby in the room and anyone else who would like to be there minus my two SIL's. They suck. I would rather be pregnant for two years than to have either one of those crazy biotches in the room. :o) I suppose when my hubby calls people to let them know that I am in labor, people can be in the room or in the waiting room for all I care. But, if they are in the room, they have to be up at the top of the bed. No close up pictures or viewings for me. Not even the hubby. I don't want him to see me all discontorted and "spread wide open" like that!!

 

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