Why Do I Feel So Guilty

6 Replies
SB - August 25

I feel so bad about even mentioning that I'm pregnant due to my previous 2 miscarriages...I tested so early and my AF wasnt even due until Sunday! At 4 weeks does it even count? With my last M/C my sister in law said I wasnt even pregnant because there is no baby at 6 weeks. Why cant I feel happy? My levels are 110..is that good for 14DPO?

 

Evy - August 25

I know what you are going through. It is so hard to be happy when there is so much worrying going on. Did you doctor ever find out why you had miscarried the last couple of times? Your levels are good. Mine were under 40 at 4 weeks and I was so anxious the first trimester...but here I am in the second. This is what helped me. Firstly, to not beat myself up because I was not feeling happy. I have learned that when we fight fear and anxiety it tends to get worse. Secondly, I started a mantra that I would repeat over and over again. For me it was doing the rosary and saying "I will have a healthy pregnancy and baby." Finally, it helped to pray a lot and to realize that I had to have faith in life. If this miracle is meant to be here it will be here. Feel free to allow yourself some personal time. You don't need to share this news with anyone right now. Just try to let your feelings come to you and accept them. Before you know it you will be at your 6 week appt and seeing the heartbeat. (like I did.) Good luck!

 

Daisy - August 26

Wow. I think your sister-in-law's comment was incredibly rude. Just trust in your body and try not to feel frightened. I wouldn't tell the sister-in-law yet. She is not a source of support!

 

Jamie - August 26

Your SIL sounds like a real...not very nice person. I hope this baby sticks...and yes, IMO, it's a baby even at 4 weeks. I'm sorry you've had a shadow thrown on what SHOULD be a very happy time for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

 

teigan - August 26

relax, and enjoy your pregnancy, i have lost 4, and im nearly 6 weeks now, i have seen the heart beat, and although it didnt get me to excited as i dare not, im still happy go lucky inside, congratulations on your pregnancy, and if anythind did go wrong be sure to go see your doctor and demmand a specialist to have a look at you, it could be a hcg problem, progestorone or a chemical imbalance, lots of luck xxxx

 

Missa - August 26

Guilt is a common thing to feel. I have has a misscariage myslef and i am pregnant and the guilt was overwelming. I stopped eating after my miscarriage and was hospitalized. Right now the only thing I think of is the baby. Your sister is thinking in a way that is natural to most women who have not haad a child. There is not heart beat till about 5 weeks. But to most women who have had children and have had misscariages it is a lot different. The minute you find out that you are pregnat, your whole life changes. You feel moer devoted to what is growing inside of you then yourself. You have to remeber that this is a life a beautiful life that you have been blessed with. It may be hard not to feel guilty. But this should be a happy time and you need to think about baby colors and toys and cribs and books and all the wonderful things that come with being pregnant. I think that you love this baby so much already and that is a good thing. Hope & love will guide you through this hard time. Just remeber we are all here for you and if you should evr need to talk you will always have us here for you.

 

Karen - August 26

I understand excatly what you are going through. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnany. When I found out I was pregnant again I had tons of mix feelings. I just could not deal with going through all the emtional trama again. Some days I was happy others worried to death. I think it is only natural. I prayed and trusted God with all my worries. Even at 35 weeks I still worry and sometimes feel guilty for not being excited because of fear, again I pray and think positive and trust God. All the best !!!

 

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