Would You Get A Motel With Mil

7 Replies
Leahp - March 3

Hi ladies, I guess this is probably my third post on my MIL, there's just been so many instances with her or let's say since my baby was born that have stirred some emotions! She was just here two weeks ago and now she wanted to come for Easter so I thought it would be fun to hit up the wineries in this cute little town! So she said that her and my husband's sister would come (very blunt and annoying) but she wanted us all to get a room together (four people and a baby) two double beds!!! I was like whoa!! So I talked to my husband and he thought it would be better to get our own room and I did to since the baby goes to sleep at 7 and I like to go to bed early. Well, turns out his sister isn't coming and my husband and I just left the plans the way they were, we would all get our own room. Well, his mother just couldn't understand why we wanted our own room, said things like "what can't you do in the room that you can in your own???" HELLO! Then she said, "so I'm just going to be hanging out with one of you while someone else is in the other room with the baby?" She even said she was feeling really down thinking about the distance between her and the baby. She always has a way of making us feel really guilty, but I'm so glad that my husband stuck up for us and explained it was much easier. Now I have a headache from stress and feel horrible, I never thought all of this would come with having a baby! Would you of done the same??

 

Trixie1 - March 3

Sounds to me like your MIL needs to get over herself, and realize that her son is going to have his own life without her. Usually the mother isn't up the son's b___t that much when he's grown and married. That just sounds weird. She needs to be told in either way she'll understand, to get a life, and not to crowd in on yours. Sometimes people can get the point nicely, but sometimes it takes something drastic. I'm sure your husband knows what it will take for her to b___t out, and he needs to be a man and do whatever it takes to have her in your lives, but to also have her b___t out.

 

fltjt705 - March 5

Your MIL needs to be MIA lol just wanted to say that. I am so thankful that my husband tells his mom like it is. If he disagrees he lets her know regardless. She doesn't pay his bills or do his job so he doesn't feel obligated in any way , shape , or form. He loves his mom dearly and shows it but when he has to put his foot down and tell it like it is then he will. Your hubby should just do what he wants to and feels he needs to and let his mother deal with it or she can stay home.

 

laura8 - March 9

OEDIPUS COMPLEX SWEETIE!!!

 

Lin - March 10

What's wrong with sharing a room with her for a few days? If you bottle feed at all, then maybe you'll even be lucky and SHE can get up to feed the baby while you sleep. She's just excited about her grandchild. What on Earth is wrong with her picking up her grandchild and walking to another room?! You only let her hold her grandchild in your presence? I can understand your desire to want to have your own room, but that does not make your MIL's request absurd. She just loves her new grandchild and wants to help in any way you can.

 

Leahp - March 10

Oedipus complex? Where does that idea come from, we're not talking about my five month old daughter wanting to sleep with the same s_x parent??? We're talking MILs. Thanks for your advice Lin, I can see where you are coming from, but this woman is very overbearing and although in these threads it sounds very harmless, it's her weird way that she does things. I don't mind at all if she holds the baby out of my presence, it's the fact that she kept checking to see if I was watching and then she would pick her up and walk out. But enough of explaining myself.

 

Lin - March 10

I do understand where you're coming from. My mother is the most overbearing person I've ever met in my life, and I'm sure that my hubby and I will have such issues when we finally have a child. That said, I think it's the overbearing ones that it's very easy to be overly mean to. When they're like that, it's really hard to force yourself to see things from their point of view. They're so unreasonable a lot of the time, and it's really easy as a result of that to deprive them of the reasonable things along with the unreasonable ones. Know what I mean? When the control freaks demand control, it's very easy to go a bit overboard in not allowing them to have it and deny them the reasonable amounts. Well, at least that's what I see myself doing sometimes.

 

molliejoy - March 11

Hey, I totally understand your situation. My mil and fil were the same way. Except they lived next door. They were always b___ting in and overriding my decisions. They pa__sed away valentine's day 2004. They were hit by a semi head on. Semi's fault. I would ignore your mil and say something nice about her helping. Trust me it will take some time to get used to, but you will feel better, she will feel better, your husband will appreciate it and your child will see it as s/he grows up. It's worth the effort to keep the peace. I always did this and it actually helped. I feel good because, I remember good things. My oldest had just turned 2 in Jan, my second was 7 months and I was 6 months pregnant. Talk about pregnancy stress. I delivered the baby 3 weeks early at 8lb 14 oz. Good Luck!!!

 

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