Dad In Shock

24 Replies
audrey - April 6

i recently found out that i am 6 weeks pg, my boyfriend of 6 years does not seem to be as happy as me, is he just in shock? will it take time for him to get used to.

 

Melissa - April 12

Were you ttc? using birth control?

 

licky - April 12

He may be scared. Kick him in the a__s.

 

Matt - May 2

it happened to me, at first i was really scared, and acted as a coward trying to deny it, (drinking) but at the end of the pregnancy i realized i had to a__sume a dad posture and deal with it. And then came the day when i saw my little angel Sophie best day of my life so far! And I hope this day will come for him, he'll regret having tried to deny it. I a__sure you! Sincerely Matt

 

Mary - May 6

Hi Audrey, and everyone. Well I just found out I am pregnant after a loss in November last year, I am going through the same thing right now with my boyfriend of 6 years, it is so hard, I am so sad and starting to get depressed I have a dr appt today for my exam and an ultrasound to make sure everything is ok and he tells me he is not mentally ready to go, so I told him not to worry about going with me. I just don't know what to do please advise or some encouragement.

 

Tina - May 10

Hi, my husband was not happy when I took a Hpt. It came out postive. He said we were not ready. It truely hurt my feelings. He was mad. Like I was the only one who had s_x. I was p__sed off. 3 months later I was still p__sed off. Wondering why I married him. He's 34 years old and this would be his first. Now I'm 3 months along and he's trying to make up. I can't get over my anger. I feel like he don't love me. You are not alone. Maybe these crybaby men need time to grow up. My husband has no time left. If he keep acting a fool. I will kick his b___t to the curb. Good Luck

 

Been there - May 12

When I told my bf that I was pregnant, he freaked! I was on b/c and it was an oops...he asked if it was his which totally p__sed me off and asked me to get an abortion. I said no way and told him I would go on my own and have the baby. We have other children and I just could not imagine aborting this child:( He came around thankfully...he needed some time to think and be alone. I am now in my 4th mth and he is looking forward to the u/s to find out the gender. So men do come around, sometimes they are so shocked at first that they do not know how to react. Give them space and time, and remember ...if they can't support you then you don't need them:)

 

Mary - May 12

Thank you, it is really nice to have a forum like this, it is helping me out a great deal. Good luck to everyone. I will keep you posted.

 

LP - May 15

I am worried about this. I just told my ex on Thurs about this. I am about 4 weeks along now. He is a very responsible man and we were attempting at a friendship, so we weren't on horrible terms. I know this is a lot for him to swallow, and it's only been like 3 days that he's know... But I am so scared. He keeps throwing around the "abortion" word, and I would not even consider that. I want to keep the baby. No one knows except for him right now... I can't tell anyone else... At least not now. Is he just in shock and freaking out? Will he eventually come around in time? I really need his support right now.

 

M - May 16

Lp, he will come around eventually, you have to think about you right now and what is good for you and baby, please don't let him talk you into an Abortion trust me, not worth it. Plus you have been gifted with a wonderful blessing and think about the many woman out there that can not have children. I have been through exactly what your going through and I am 6 weeks along and my boyfriend is not happy, as a matter of fact he has not touched me physically, for 5 weeks now. He says there is nothing wrong but I know there is, I am trying to focus on me right now and how I am feeling. We need the support just as much. So hope this helps, I would love to stay in touch with you.

 

LP - May 16

I am just so scared because we are not together anymore... And we weren't together for a long time to begin with. He just keeps saying that it wasn't sposed to happen this way, and I told him I agree, but we need to deal with what was given to us. I am trying really hard to give him space right now so that he can have time to try and accept this... I feel so selfish though because I really need him right now for support and someone to talk to. I talked with him about 2 days ago and was trying not to be pushy at all since he has still not come to grips with the situation. He lives like an hour away too which is making this hard. I just wish I knew when he was going to get over the shock and be there for me. I really really hope it's within the next 2 weeks or so. He had mentioned, when I told him about this last week, that he wanted to see me like once a week... And that it would eventually progress into seeing me more often... Hoping that our relationship would progress. I really want this to work out. I care deeply for him, and he was like, ya know people get married over this kinda thing? I told him I know but wasn't going to pressure him into that at all... Deep down inside, I think that is the right thing to do... I am just so confused. I feel like I need to be thinking way down the road, but am having a hard time dealing with the here and now. Argh... Sorry for all this. I just feel so alone with no one to talk to.

 

m - May 16

Oh Lp I know how you feel, and please if you ever want to talk my email address is [email protected] I know what your going through but my situation I live with my boyfriend and it is so hard. I wanted things to be different but didn't happen. Things happen and all we can do is try and stay strong, have faith and pray for the best:) And don't ever be sorry talking I find helps me out alot lately:)

 

LP - May 17

I talked to him last night and we seemed to have a better conversation. He says he still hasn't accepted it, but he sounded WAY better to me. I told him that I didn't want to be pushy and that it sounds selfish, but he needs to just accept it so we can move forward. I told him that I really need his support right now and with good reason. And he was like, I know... So it's a baby step (no pun intended). I just want him to be like, ok this is happening and we're going to make it right... But all it is, is wishful thinking. Oh well... Hopefully he will continue to get better about it, and maybe we can even be together. I want that more than anything... Not only for myself, but because I think it is extremely important for the baby too. *sighs* Whatcha gunna do??

 

M - May 18

LP that is wonderful for you, I am glad, see things are sorda turning out to be good, it just takes time. I am happy for you:) How are you feeling other wise? I am so sick all day long, I did not have this with my first one and she is 13, so this time, I am just sick all day long, but I take that as a good thing:)

 

LP - May 18

I've been sick on and off. Otherwise, I feel all right. I gotta tell you though, I feel a lot differently about things. I was a shop-o-holic before this and now the thought hasn't even crossed my mind. I have been jogging every night and I haven't ran since HS, and that was like 5 years ago! I just feel so differently overall. I feel like I have a different appreciation of life and things I used to shun as being taboo. I'm thinking he is taking this as quite a surprise, wondering if it's for real, and liking it. The way I was before is part of the reason why we broke up. Besides me feeling so differently, I would do anything it took to make it work anyhow. I really think that he is unsure of these changes and is wondering if I'm serious or just "changing" for him. Who knows? Maybe this is all in my mind? Or maybe I really am changing...? I spose only time will tell. I just know that the past few days I have felt really good, and I'm hoping that this will rub off on him a little. One of us has to be sane! lol! Oh, I have a slight problem I wanted your opinion on. So I'm only like 4 and a half weeks along, and when I was talking to him on the phone last night, he said he wanted to tell his parents when they come up June 10th. Okay, so I started freaking because I haven't told anyone yet and that is SUPER soon. I didn't really plan on saying anything until I started showing. I don't know what to do. I am worried because I truly don't want anyone to know yet, and it is SO early still. I am obviously also worried about his parents hating me and treating him differently (which is obviously going to happen because they will be shocked). I am going to try and convince him to wait as much as I can... But what if I can't get through to him? Even though they are his parents, I think I should have a say in who I want to know and when. I am the one carrying the baby... Argh, this is SO stressing me out! What do you think? Drink pepto-bismol if you are getting sick. My mom did when she was pregnant with me, and now I LOVE that stuff... And everyone thinks I am nuts for it. LOL! Hope you are feeling better! :)

 

M - May 18

Well here is my take on the telling people part, I am also waiting, I have only told a few people and that is because I can't stop running to the bathroom and I am moody as he!!. so people are starting to wonder:)) My boyfriend is waiting to tell because we lost a baby last year and so this time we both agreed to wait and tell his family, at least until the first trimester is over. So it could be a good thing he wants to tell his parents, I mean that must mean he is excited that is what I get from it. I don't think they will hate you, shock yes is a good word but it may turn out to be a good thing plus the extra support is nice to have:)

 

LP - May 19

Okay, we talked some more and he is totally for telling his parents. I have some huge issues going on. I didn't want to go to the doctor in the first place, but I did because he said he wanted to know for sure... I didn't keep anything that said absolutely that I was pregnant because I don't want anyone finding out. All I had was the hole in my arm with a bandage, the OBGYN's card, and the receipt saying I was at the doc. I got rid of anything else that said anything definite on it. So tonight, he got kinda upset and said he trusted me but that he wanted to see something. I don't know what to do. I have nothing and I DO NOT want to go back to the doctor... Well, not yet at least. That was the first time I was there, and it was a hell of a time at that. I am just so aggravated that I went there for him and showed him the freaking hole in my arm, and it's not good enough for him. He said he does trust me, but that everything was here-say and he wanted to actually see it. UGH!! I am sooo frustrated. Right now, I have nothing... And then if he goes and tells his parents... I'm always thinking worst-case-scenario... They might be like, she's lying blah blah blah... Then I would be forced to go back to the doc... And I really don't want to. I am so confused right now. I don't even know why I think half of what I do. lol! He sorta let it go after a while, but I know he'll be back on that topic in no time... And I am so stressed out about everything else that I hate adding something to worry about. Anyway, sorry for ranting... Seems I do a lot of that lately. Hope all is well with you.

 

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