Does My Wife Really Not Love Me

57 Replies
Sad Guy - January 24

My wife is almost five months pregnant and about 2 months ago she became distant. Eventally, she said she did'nt think she loved me anymore and she also started going out late with her younger friends more often and leaving to be alone saying she missed the freedom and she insists there is no other man in her life. Until 2 months ago we had an ideal loving relationship and now its like she is going through a early mid-life crisis and I'm worried I might lose her. We also have a 14 month old son who she doesn't mind leaving to go out and she has been very selfish and sometimes cold with the things she says to me. Could hormones cause this behavior? I'm hoping thats what it is and scared to death that its not.


lilmama - January 25

I think its probably just the pregnancy hormones talking. Coming from a wife with a baby and who is pregnant again, I sometimes feel the same way. I think its just a lot for her to handle that she is about to be a mother of 2, and that she will come around, just give her some space and let her know that you love her and dont want to lose her. Try to do some romantic things, you know us wemon love that stuff. One day when she comes home, maybe you could have a bubble bath run for her with rose petals floating in the water and candles lit, and cook her a candle lit dinner while she bathes, I tell you, I melt like b___ter when my husband does that for me!


Julie - February 4

I agree, I am on my first pregnancy and this is a BIG change. As the mom-to-be you feel like you are going to lose every inch of freedom you ever had. And for the most part, there's a lot of truth to it. Its quite an adjustment. Have you tried talking to her? I'm concerned, you're not acting like yourself? Is anything else bothering you? And acknowledge that you know this must be really hard for her etc. Is she generally pretty reasonable and talks to you about things?


TO SAD GUY - February 22



amber - March 8

its probably hormones good luck


Sad Guy - May 11

Bad news. She doesn't love me. Our baby came on 5/3 seven weeks early and hes doing great. Less than 2 days after he was home she told me shes leaving. She has been like a robot emotionally through all of this and its nothing for her to be this selfish and destroy our family. I have done everything possible to save our marriage and she did nothing. She refuses to go to counseling and says shes not going to stay with me just to make me happy and for the kids ( we have a 18 month old also). This isnt the woman I married shes trying to go back to her youth or something and its tearing our family apart. She even left our 4 pound preemie when he wasnt even a week old to go hang out with her younger friend. If she would have had friends who were married with kids instead of a young single friends who act very young I think things would have been different but I have lost all hope and my heart is broken. I still love her but I also hate her for doing this. We had a wonderful life and a wonderful future and this life crisis of hers is going to ruin our lives. The hurt and despair is unbearable please pray for me.


Daisy Jean - May 12

Praying for you sad guy. Can I ask how old you and your wife are? Have you talked about officially ending the marriage and what will happen with the children? She sounds pretty immature which is why I was wondering about the ages. Hang in there.


C - May 12

Hang in there Sad Guy, she will eventually realize what she's lost and you keep your chin up...there are tons of good women out there and life will go on, for now your babies need you so that is what you need to focus on ...good luck and best wishes:)


sad guy - May 12

My wife is 28 and in her mind I think its over officially. I told her after some time apart maybe she will think about counseling because we have too much at stake for her to rush to divorce. She really needs counseling to realize what she is going through. I think she has the seven year itch and after we started our family panicked and wants out. I've always been a great husband and father which she admits and as soon as we achieved our goals of a nice home and beautiful family she decides we want different things. Because of my work schedule I always had more time watching the kids and when she did have a day off she would go to her parents with the baby. I think she thinks I'll have the boys 3-4 days a week and she'll be living with her parents for awile so they can watch them too so she can have a life. That won't happen. She even says when I have the boys and she's at her parents maybe she'll spend the night at her friends house sometimes so she won't have to listen to her dad. This is the immaturity and selfishness that has become part of her. What hurts most is I am still in love with her and she has gone through this with no remorse like she made a business decision and she's sticking with it. Of course I get advice from both sides like be a jerk to her and no, take the high road so when she finally thinks things over she'll realize what a great husband she gave up. Like an idiot I still have hope, I can't believe she is going to do this and she almost seems excited about it. My wife, 28 going on 18.


faith - May 12

some ppl r really stupid...they don't know what they have until they lose it..don't run after bf is quite like ur wife..he is cold and heartless..wants to have s_x once every two weeks(i have to initiate it) and when i found out i was preg in the early stage of our relationship..abt 2 mnths after we started to c eachother..he made me take an abortion cause he said that he was working for 2000 a month..then after 2 months after my abortion and a whole lot of abortion inflicted health problems i found out that he was actually workin for 10 times that amount..We stayed together despite even though I am the one to always say sorry..always change to make things better..I have now grown to dislike him so much and i know to myself that I can do better and i would one day find someone who loves me just as much as i love..I am sorry though least ur seeking help and advice..what about my bf he doesn't care..all he says is "well this is who I am"Maybe we should hook luck to you..


LOST - May 13

Sad Guy, Hey Sad Guy, I'm in the same boat. I've been surfing the net, asking friends, and just about everyone just to find some hope. My girlfriend is 22 weeks, and this is my first child. (her second) We recently had to move, and my financial situation hasn't been the best, we're basically going pay check to pay check. I have a full time job, and she's working part time. When we met, I told her I wasn't well off with money, but what I didn't tell her is that I was in debt with a couple of things, until two months ago. Every since those two months, everythng has been down hill. She blames me for the situation were in, and how I wasn't honest in disclosing that I had more problems than I admited to her. She is so right, and I regret not being open to her about that. Things were so great between us, our love, getting along, having fun, until this happend. For the last two months, we haven't been intimate, I can't cuddle with her, I can't touch her belly and the baby, and there is no more affection whatsoever. She told me to get a second job, or else I had to leave, and so now I have two jobs in the day, and one at night, but it's still the same. Sometimes I hold on to glimpes of hope. She calls me honey some days, and some days she calls me by my first name. I don't know if her hormones are just making our tough situation worse or if she really is loosing the love she had for me. She is so angry with me, but around her sisters and everyone else, she seems to be fine. I'm working hard for our future, but I need a little bit of hope to keep me going. If anyone can give me that, please give me it. I hope it's mostly the pregnancy hormones, but it really doesn't feel like it. Please help. [email protected]


Akash - May 22

I am in the same position as you are but we don't have any children. I am trying to convince her from 8 months and she never seems to understand me. She is like robot and very cold with me. I don't know why? she wants divorce soon. For you i think you should try to enjoy with your children. They can heal your pain. The other thing is that you stop saying I love you or i need you. Show her that you cn live without you which i am doing now. Bring your friend at home and go out sometime if you can. Take care yourself and try to show your love in another way like make dinner or go out with your wife sometime if she agrees otherwise live her alone for some time. Good luck


jennifer - May 26

sad guy, I'm really sorry about what you are going through, I've seen this happen before...a woman I babysat for when I was 18 went through this, she made her husband leave and always left her 5 year old little girl and 12 month old little boy with me, while she went out and partied...she got her belly b___ton pierced, got a b___st lift and started dressing really young again. She went so far as to ask me if I wanted to go out with her the next Friday night and party, because all her other friends were busy, and I had to tell her no that isn't my 18, I was more mature than her, and she was in her 30's. She was out partying acting my age while I was staying at home watching her kids, cooking them dinner, giving them baths, rocking the baby to's sad, I have no idea why this happens...eventually thank goodness this woman moved away, to another state, because it was draining me having to be at her beckon call, rushing over there some weeknights so she could go do lord knows what while I took care of the advice for you would be to fight for custody of your kids, because it sounds like you are a very loving and caring father, and you have the home and the stable income. Good luck, and keep us updated on how things are going.


val - May 27

To all of you people who had written in response to Sad guy and of course sad guy. My heart goes out to all of you. I'm sorry, I don't know what your going through,I have never been in that situation. But I just wanted to say how good it is that there are men out there who are willing to come to this forum seeking advice or just for a shoulder.I hope that all of you can either mend your relationships or find the strength to move on. You all deserve to be treated like the loyalty that you have given to your significant others. I hope that someday you can find it in your hearts to love someone else that will return your love.To Faith, I really hope you have the courage to leave that guy (if you even want to call him that). You deserve to be loved, and he doesn't deserve your love.Good luck to all of you.


Sad Guy - May 28

Well, my wife decided she wants a divorce and thinks a separation will just give me false hope that she might consider working it out. I get my 18 month old on my days off (3-4 days a week) and it kills me not to see him. I've been his mother and his father for awhile and I want to be with him all the time. As for my little preemie I only see him for a few minutes when I drop off my 18 month old. When he's a little bigger and stronger I will get him more. I've also realized that the love I thought I still had for my wife was more of a physical attraction and not wanting to lose a pretty woman with a nice body. That's all she is because she has become a terrible wife and a suspect mother and I see her for that now and don't want to be with someone like that. Its such a shame, she used to be a great wife and mother and she just decided to give up and do what she thinks will make her happy. It might be a few months or even years but I know she will eventually realize she messed up big time. In the meantime she's changing the lives of myself, our kids and our families. I just wish she seemed sorry about all of this but she seems perfectly fine. I've been seeing a counselor and she's really helped me see logically instead of emotionally and that it's time to stop trying to do what I think will make my wife happy and start making myself happy. The self-esteem I've lost is also making a comeback with alot of the women at work telling me they're fighting about who gets to set me up with their friends. I'm gonna be alright and I know it because I have always been a great husband and father and God will send someone my way who deserves that and will treat me and love me the way I deserve. It may sound bad but I really hope my wife has a hard life because God blessed her with a great family and future and she chose to throw it away. I miss you my baby baby bubba and little peanut.


Tami - June 9

Sounds like your wife might be going through some sort of depression-postpartum from the way she is acting now. has she talked to anyone?


sad guy - June 10

No, she refuses to talk to anyone and she won't do anything to get help unless its her idea. Ive tried and tried and there is something wrong with her because she is a totally different person than she used to be. I just wish my wife would come back because I don't know who this person is and its really sad to see a such good person become someone I have no respect for.



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