Don T Touch Me

50 Replies
JKC - December 13

OK, ladies...this is getting on my last nerve. What's the deal with the harsh words, zero s_x, and a strong desire NOT to be touched? I mean, I can't even stroke this woman's hair without her acting like I'm a fricking disease! She's almost 19 wks pregnant and acts like a complete B*TCH!!! She started acting this way about the time she conceived, but it's gotten worse now. I keep hearing in here that it's the hormones and her body's changing, but do any of you women realize how your treating us when you're going thru it? Also, most women say it disappears around the 4th month. Well, she's 4 mths and she hasn't shown any improvementat all. Everybody keeps telling me that she's acting like a royal turd and that I need to stop kissing her ass, but you ladies keeping saying to be "understanding" and "supportive". I really dont think this woman wants me in her life, but I don't want to jump the gun too soon. I love this little girl she's carrying and I'd prefer her to have the proper family life. Do you think it really is the hormones or should I start looking elsewhere for a decent woman?


JKC - December 13

One more question.....and I think this is THE most important one: Have any of you ladies ever started having doubts about your relationship with hubby or boyfriend while pregnant? I'm not talking about being unfaithful; I'm referring to the feeling like "this just isn't going to work out" or "he's not what I want". Need your inputs please!!!!!


Jennifer - December 13

If the way that she treats you has really just been while she's been pregnant, I would definatly hold off on ditching her, until after she has the baby, because it really could just be hormones. I know that sounds like some lame excuse but you have no idea. As for do we realize how we treat you - here's the deal, when a woman is pregnant, she puts her whole life, body, mind, soul, on hold for nine miserable, painful, uncomfortable, embarra__sing months - the climax being labor, which is degrading, and painful beyond belief. This is the sacrifice we make. We lend our body to the situation, that is our role in childbearing. So if the least you have to do is put up with a b___h, consider yourself lucky. Remember that support is your role in childbearing. No matter how bad you think you have it....god, I just don't kow how to express to you how crazy being pregnant is - you just don't have that bad, okay, just trust me on that.


Tina - December 13

Pregnancy is a time fo irrarional behavior. When you look back later, you can't believe that you said and did those things. You're kind of possessed. It's worse for some than others. The crankyness seems to be attached to how uncomfortable you are, for me (sorry to say) it got worse as time went on. My husband deserves tome kind of sainthood. I even said that stupid line from movies that you think doesn't happen during labor. "I want to go home, I don't want to do this." I don't know what I was thinking--I wasn't thinking. Talk to her gently about how you feel, and be sure to include your love for her and the baby. Ask her what you can do to make her feel better. A sure way to a mother's heart is doing housework. Wash dises, scrub the floors and bathroom. The show me method works much better than the tell me one. About the "not going to work out thoughts", lots of negative thoughts and self doubts are very normal when you are pregnant. It's really scary, and you don't know if you're going to be able to pull it off. The more supportive you can be, the mor relaxed she can be.


Sue - December 14

With my first pregnancy I had doubts about my boyfriend. I thought his physical features literally changed and I couldn't stand the way he looked. My second pregnancy I never had any of these feelings. Sometimes that little person inside your body can just take over- literally. Is she having twins? Twins can produce more hormones than a single birth. I really don't know WHAT went on inside my head my first pregnancy, but it was completely irrational and I feel bad about it in retrospect. Just try and give her some space and talk with her. It's completely normal. I know I was completely repulsed by my boyfriend, but I got over it. The hormones do calm down.


to JKC - December 14

My hormones had me screaming at my boyfriend in the first trimester. I've never been aggressive with my significant others before, so this was shocking for me. I would watch myself --like having an out-of-body experience-- in amazement, but not be able to stop the behavior. The smallest thing would set me off. I'd also cry so hard I couldn't breathe properly. Hormones... gotta love 'em. It's pretty f*cking crazy. That's over now, as I'm 22 weeks along... FAR away from the first trimester, and so happy to be. However, I have never lost interest in s_x. I just happen to be one of the lucky ones (& my boyfriend is DEFINITELY one of the lucky ones in that department, since I realize a lot of guys out there with pregnant significant others are feeling deprived right now). And I've never stopped loving him or wanting to be with him, although I'm sure to an outside observer during that nutty period a few months back that wouldn't have seem true in the least. Good luck with your situation. I hope this helped some.


trinity - December 14

Hang in there! Pregnancy does CRAZY things to a woman's body and it doesn't stop until that baby comes out. I've had my psycho moments more than once. I'm sure at times my hubby wishes he could throw me out a window, but he hasn't (thank goodness). Fortunately, my psycho moments have been few and far between, but I know some women have them day and night. While you need to be VERY understanding and patient at this time, I think she also needs to try to realize how her behavior is affecting you. If you haven't had a good heart to heart talk with her, now is the time to do it before you become so frustrated that you make a decision you may regret. Tell her honestly and lovingly how your feeling and that you understand that she is going through a lot. If you can get through the rest of the nine months, I think you'll be fine. Good luck!


Jbear - December 15

My husband treated me like that during my second pregnancy, didn't want to be touched or near me, wouldn't give me any words of support or affection. I thought it would improve after our baby was hasn't.


Jamie - December 15

Is this her first baby? Was it unplanned? If so, in addition to the pregnancy hormones that would turn even a saint into a b___h, she's also got the added issue of watching her body change; as I recall, at 19 weeks, I felt like I looked fat, instead of pregnant. It was very discouraging, and I took it out on the guy responsible for the changes - my husband. You do need to be supportive and understanding, and realize that her discomfort is only going to get worse. So, yah, she could be acting like the world's biggest b___h, but she's got reason; she's got the hormones from the pregnancy, a body that will never go back to how it was 19 weeks ago, and in another 21 weeks, she'll have an 8 pound (give or take) baby literally force its way out of her body. It's SCARY - especially if you've never been through it before. It's easy for you to sit back and say you're done kissing her a__s, but she can't. You have the option of walking away, but she doesn't. She will be forever tied to the life inside of her. Your post makes me think that you're not married; has it occurred to you that she might be afraid that she will have to go through this alone? That you might leave her, and her baby?


JKC - December 15

To Jamie - here's the deal: she doesn't want me....period. All my supportive efforts have failed. Aree we married? No, we are not. We were engaged at one time, but she changed her mind around the same time she conceived. Now, she doesnt want to have ANYTHING to do with me. I have been as supportive as any decent man can be, but she still continues to treat me like I'm not a part of this pregnancy. She'a already told me she doesnt want a relationship with me anymore. So, Jamie, is this normal? Could it be even just an isolated, hormone-inlfuenced incident? I dont want to stay with someone if she really doesnt want me there, but if she pumped up on estrogen, then I dont want to "hit the high road" just yet. Can anyone out there realte to what I'm going through?


r to jkc - December 15

I think there is more going on then just hormones I mean i can understand maybe not wanting s_x all the time as we get tired and don't feel up to much s_x...but she is not wanting you to touch her and be close to her is strange i mean I am 33wks prego and I love it when my husband hugs me up when we are laying in bed I mean yeah sometimes he gets on my nerves when he won't stop grabbing my larger b___bs ha ha lol but I know it is just his way of showing me he still finds me attractive this is his first child and he does not have a clue about pregnant women I have to remind him sometimes that things have changed a bit but slowly he is getting it I would say why don't you talk to her and ask her what is going on tell her how she has been making you feel and just listen to what she says sorry to say she may not want to be with you for whatever reason cause pregnancy should bring you both closer together not split you apart but good luck to you you seem like a nice guy and I hope you will be able to work this thing out together


JKC - December 16

Yeah, I suspect there's more to it than just the hormones, too. But what? She's so quiet and secretive. She's said that she doesnt want a relationship with me anymore, yet she tells me to wait till after the baby is born. It's like, "I want you here in case I change my mind, but I dont want you right now". Maybe SHE doesnt even know what she's truly thinking or feeling right now. Additionally, she wants to move out (she's 4 mths pregnant) and I have a hard time trying to decide if that's a wise decision to go along with. Letting her move out might come back to haunt me later on. What do ya'll think?


Jbear - December 18

I don't's possible for pregnancy hormones to make a woman a little crazy...I was pretty c___ppy to my husband during my first pregnancy. It's scary being pregnant, and since we don't get that way by ourselves, the man is the obvious target. I think you should try to persuade her to stay at least until the baby is born, and see if she calms down afterwards. B___hiness doesn't always end at four months, for some of us it lasts throughout the pregnancy. She could be a totally different person afterwards. You'll also be able to have a better relationship with your baby if you're actually there.


Deb - December 18

This doesn't sound like the hormones to me. It sounds like she is unhappy in the relationship. If she wants to move out then I think you should let her. Just make sure that when you are discussing it, you tell her that it is your baby too and that you want to be a part of the pregnancy and your childs life. Tell her you want to make the relationship work, but if she feels she would be better off apart, then you are willing to do that for her. I have my moments with my husband when I don't want to be touched, but I also have moments when I do. Remember that raising a child in a family where the parents are always fighting is not necessarily better than raising a child between two homes and two loving parents. Good luck to you.


Jen - December 20

to jkc.. your asking about her happiness, what about yours or dont u count. I do agree about the hormone thing i kicked out my bf at 10 weeks. I was stressed he was there. makeing me bleed. babysitting him and financially draining me also abusing drugs... i had good reason to kick him out. hormones or not... you cant make her do anything. you do not own her. if she want s to leave tell her to go.. or u move what ever. let her leave. support herself.. help her when she asks.. hold off on the othe women though.. just wait till she as your baby. that will show her your not the slom ball she thinks you might be.. and your serious about haveing a good life with the three of you..... cant be unhappy now, its not good for any of know the saying if you let her go , she will come back and if she doesnt come back she was never yours to begin with..... good luck..


Heather - December 20

Well, it's just that the fact that you're already ready to date other women sorta tells me you weren't too invested in the other relationship. I want to help you out here....but it kinda p__ses me off.


JKC - December 20

To Heather....what's with you? Dont know what your story is, but I'll tell u mine short and sweet: I meet this woman, fall in love, go through hell for her, she becomes pregnant, and....over the last four months has single-handedly managed to treat me like sh*t in every possible way regardless of my efforts. According to her, she has done nothing wrong and I have managed to screw everthing up (kinda sounds like a pregnant woman, huh?). I'm not advocating screwing around at the first possible opportunity, but f*ck.....this woman has managed not only to simply walk out, but take my FIRST child with her. YOU as a woman will not have to worry about being apart from you kids; you get to play with them, bath them, take care of them, laugh with them EVERY day. As for me, I guess (if I'm lucky) I might get my daughter on weekends....maybe, AND I have to worry if she'll remember me, AND if she will start calling her mommy's next BF "Daddy". So Heather, who do you think has a right to be p__sed off now? Excuse me if I was thinking with my other head there for a while. I'm just trying to forget so it doesnt hurt all of the time.



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