Ok, I am 28, married for 2 years in Dec. (together for 7)â€¦ recently I have been quite worried about conceiving a child, (the last year or so) as many in my family have struggled in many forms and fashions. In the past I have come off Birth control and always told RM, but then would choose to go back on. Anyhow, my last period I came off, just to give my body a one month reprieveâ€¦.knowing my body best, however I decided not to tell RM as we have been having some problems with trust, (mostly me with him) and are presently in counseling to help, and since I know that I was only coming off for the month, I didnâ€™t think it was a big deal to inform himâ€¦.(maybe this was bad?), anyhow, In the midst of all this, I was talking to a friend about baby gender and she told me about a ovulation calendar that helps you to raise your chances of gender choice. RM comes from a predominately male family and the joke is that girls are never born to them, or maybe, VERY RARELY, but just about never. Itâ€™s also a calendar of prevention and planningâ€¦.curiosity killed the cat in thinking this was a crock and so I downloaded it and installed it on my comp at home to take a look. To make a long story short, within 2 days of installing, RM found it, he didnâ€™t say anything to me at all about it until 2 days later when things were getting hot and heavy---he then stopped and mentioned putting on a condomâ€¦.instantly my first reaction was insult and a slap in the face, as half our problems are with a woman that just so happened to be back on the island, to whom he has had sex with in the past, so I immediately figured it had something to do with that, that maybe he had already been unfaithful, anyhow, he then came out with the fact that he saw this said â€śCalendarâ€ť and was concernedâ€¦..I can understand his concern, to a degree, but at the same time, hell, we are in counseling because I donâ€™t trust him (and this woman)â€¦and if you knew my lifestyle, babies are the last thing that I am thinking about, and that would be if I could even conceive at all!!! So my Question is how am I to handle his â€śautomatic distrustâ€ť in me? Especially when I find it more insulting that he is trying to turn tables, on top of everything else that we have been going thru. I am not one of these stupid women who thinks a baby is going to save a relationshipâ€¦.I have walked away before, and can do it again, from a bad relationship, and would never in a million years bring a child into it. Iâ€™d abort first. So to think that he thinks this is what I am doing is ludicrous.
So please, I welcome your comments, as we havenâ€™t discussed it, and I donâ€™t know how to bring it up again, and just figured to wait until our next session to say anything, but I am feeling the tension and its pissing me off. What do you think? (Ps. the woman is here for the next 10 daysâ€¦.hmmm, what convenient timing, dontcha think?)