My Husband Does Not Care About This Baby

5 Replies
dida - June 24

i cannot beleive that i am going through this. we struggled and struggled to get pregnant for almost 2 years, even looked into some medical options. but by the grace of God, we did it on our own, and now i am 16 weeks pregnant. i have a son of my own from my ex-husband who is four. my new husband had a lot of issues with his sperm (low count, motility, and poor morphology) and all these things really was a factor in getting pregnant. so now, i feel like he should be happy. but he can care less it seems. when i told him that my HPT was positive, he didn't even beleive me until a blood test confirmed it. the baby moves and kicks everyday, and when i tell him to come feel it, he gets the biggest att_tude. when we were going through all the things to get pregnant, he was more loving and into me. now i just don't get it. he wanted this baby too, just as bad as i do. but it seems he does not care. plus i am hormonal, and i tend to get angry and violent, not weepy and sad when i think about this. i wish he would move out. most fathers would be ecstatic, especially if they had overcome fertility issues. i get so jealous reading these other posts about the men who are so concerned for their baby and the mother. i feel like i have to do this all by myself. why do men act like this??? especially after God was so good and fixed his stupid sperm so we could conceive!!!

 

Jamie - June 28

you know...it could be that he thinks it's too good to be true. I've had severe fertilitiy issues in the past, to the point where, when my husband proposed, I flat-out told him I would never be able to have his child....miracle of miracles, I'm pregnant - but he didn't start getting attached to the baby until about 2 weeks ago - after I pointed out to him that even if I had the baby that day, the baby would probably live. (I was 32 weeks) Be patient and understanding with your husband - he's probably afraid to get attached to something he could still lose.

 

pauline - June 29

I feel as though my husband does not care. There are no hugs or kisses anymore, he's busy at work, and when he comes home he either sleeps or goes on his computer until 1am in the morning. I can't remember the last time we went to bed together. He is so distant now and I hope it's not because of the baby. We did not have fertility problems and conceived very quickly. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and he puts her on such a pedestal. He keeps telling her that she can help with the baby when it is born by bathing it etc....he's almost treating my baby as if it is some kind of doll for his older child. I'm so p__sed off with him. When I talk to him, it's like I have the problem, he tells me that I'm barmy! All I need is some love and affection, especially at this point in my life. He doesn't even seem to understand how exhausted I feel. I'm on my feet ALL DAY at work and at 31 weeks of pregnancy, all i get when I put my feet up when I get home is a big guilt trip, when he huffs around and slams things when he does a few chores! I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. He doesn't even like me seeing my parents and family very often and complains when anything is arranged. I just need some understanding from him that's all. Any advice? I really don't know how to help myself. Everything was fine before we got pregnant. He has been to the scans and parent cla__ses, but has shown no emotion whatsoever. The babies kick 'puts him off' HELP!

 

aisha - June 29

That was my issue jamie;. My babys daddy fell on his p___s when he was younger and the drs told him that he had damaged his testes to the point that it was going to be a long shot for him to ever impregnant a woman.then here I come telling him im pregnant and it took him till now to get the message that yes one of his sperms made the target. Hes beter now but he was in the same idea..too good to be true...we are having a dna test because he still cant believe it but thats ok with me. Thats his money not mine but he is down for me at least now.

 

blah - June 29

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!BLAH!BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

Jamie - July 1

Pauline...if his daughter is the only child, he may be simply trying to make sure she doesn't resent the baby. However, his behavior towards you sounds almost border-line abusive.

 

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