My Husband S Married Lover Is Pregnant By My Husband

10 Replies
Cary - March 22

CONTEXT: In February, my husband of 10 years had s_x several times with his female boss during her fertile period. (This was an isolated incident in our marriage.) Wonder of wonders, she's now pregnant. Her husband had a vasecotomy several years ago (at her urging), so the unborn child is clearly my husband's. The woman's husband has decided that he's willing to raise child. Unfortunately, he has a history of violence against his wife. And...their whole family situation (woman, husband, and 10-year old daughter) is unbelievably messed up! (He's a bis_xual male mostly interested in men; she's a straight female. They love each other, but neither can fully fill the other's physical needs. Imagine the ongoing hostility that breeds!) Anyway, my husband and I have concerns about his child getting raised in that hostile environment. Particularly since my husband is black and the other couple (boss and her husband) are white. And then there's the other issue, yes, it was an isolated incident. But I didn't sign up for an 18+ year "mistake." I'm not even sure that I want to be with him anymore. QUESTION 1: Is it possible to sue the other couple for custody of my husband's child? QUESTION 2: Is it possible to sue for visitation rights for my husband?


M - March 22

In NY state the the answer to the last question is yes. Not sure about the other one. Anyway, it all depends on where you live.


Aishah - March 23

Legally the child will be considered the husbands child because it will be a child born within the marriage. Your husband will have to file a paternity test after the baby is born in order to secure rights for that child. Why would you want to be with a man that indulged in unsafe s_xual practices...pregnancy is not the only risk theres a lot of stds out there.


* - March 24

Horrible thing to say but I would never trust this guy again if he not only cheated on you with her but he is also worried about the way things go in her life. I would think it would be best served for both of you couples to get a divorce and for them to get together. And as far as the first question goes no court will alow you to take the child from the mother and even if the other guy is abucive then try to get her away form him, but it is vicious to even think about trying to take her child away from her.


Randi - April 6

Cary, Here's what I think..........If you love your husband and he is truly sorry....forgive him...yes it will be hard and he will have to understand that everything he talks to this (or maybe anyother woman) you will be wanted to know what was said and will (more than likely) want to be with him when he does see the baby. I think that if you and your husband have a stable relationship now then at least try for custody....let this child have a great life! And if you do end up raising the child just remember it wasn't his/her fault....there is a reason that this baby is coming into this world....unforentally it happened in a horrible way, but you never know what this child will be...maybe a teacher, a doctor, don't know...but I say love it like it's yours...I know it will be hard sometimes but that child deserves as much of a chance as anyone else...and for your questions....I don't know where "*" is from but I know for a fact that in missouri men can get the children...The courts are more up to date then us...and the judge will do what is best for the child.....and what could trying hurt? That child deserves to know his real father and that his/her father and step-mother(you!) love it!


Big Mike - April 12

You might want to consult the Jerry Springer show on this one.


Big Poo - April 12

You could also inc=vite the lady to live with ya'll and all be one family. You might like it


J - April 23

I would start by getting online and doing some research.


*** - May 19

Look deep in your heart. if you love him and he loves you than stay together. for the child see a law er and find out your rights. i would do everything in power to remove the child from a destructive relationship at all costs. the child does not deserve that life but a loving one instead. good luck


Karen - May 19

you really want this baby? wouldn't that kill you to see this baby all the time? you must be a strong person....


Jessica - June 6

Hunny, First off I am sorry you have to deal with this it's not going to be easy. 1) You can't sue for custody of hubby's child. HE can. You need a very good lawyer, and a lot of money. 2)Yes if your husband is a stable man and has nothing creepy like child molesation against him it very likely that he will get Joint visitation and custody. Which gives him a lot of rights. If she tries to say her husband is the baby's father then you need to take her to court and sue for a dna test. This will clear your husband of any responsibility if it turns out to be someone elses. Or gives him his father's rights. visit this website it'll help answer a lot of your questions. email me if you want any more info at [email protected]



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