I have read so many threads on here and they are all exactly like my story. Me and my ex loved each other to death, like you ttempest, she used to text me to check if I got to work ok, we would kiss and say I love you to each other every morning, I would hold her, it was beautiful, we were madly in love and always talked out our problems.
When she got pregnant, it was the same story you guys described; became distant, stopped saying I love you and soon, got the idea to move out.
Do you know how much it sucks when the person you used to sleep with and hold every night leaves you for no reason at all? And then you see her packing and finally, shes gone and for the first night, you find it hard to believe that she is no longer on the other side of the bed and you start to ask yourself, what happened?
I used to be a very financially stable man. I owned my own house, had my own car, had lots of money in the bank and we always lived a good life. The thing is when I met this girl, I started spending loads of money, we would spend at least $300 a night on chuck e. cheeses, soon my savings just suddenly went sour and then I got transferred to another shift at work.
Her being alone for 10 hours a week with out my being present, me not being able to take her out eventually started to affect her. One night I came from work and she pushed me away when I tried to hold her and I decided to stop sleeping with her. This went on for 3 full days in which, I started to ignore her and dedicated no time to her, she didn't wanted to be with me so I figured maybe that is what she wants, to be left alone. I would wake up in the mornings and go out to a friends house to play some games, come back, take a bath and leave for work, at night, I didn't even go up to the room to see her, it was like this for 3 days until when day I told her to come pick me up at work. On the fourth night, I went up to ask what the hell was going on..she said she wanted to move out but to not break up with her, I stopped talking to her when she said that.
Anyway man, when she moved out, I used to go see her but eventually on a phone conversation, I told her I wanted to spend some time with her because I had a small vacation from work...she said she had more important things to do....know what it feels like when the one you think loves you tells you shes got more important things to do than to be spending time with you? That is messed up man, I hung up on her and never called her again, never visited her again.
3 weeks later I see her, not doing to well, it was as if she didn't even know me. I was in my car, she was with her friend.
Several months went by and finally, two months before the scheduled due date, I decided to call to check up on her. Her mother contacted me, told me she had moved and gave me her new phone but to not say that it was her...her mother is the sweetest person and she says she doesn't understand why her daughter is being this way with me and that she wanted me to be there for the baby, no matter what happens. Well, eventually I called her and I got the following, "leave me alone already! get the fuck out my life! this baby is not yours! just leave me the fuck alone!" and bam she hung up.....the first thing I asked myself is ..... what the hell.....what did I do to her???? And why is she talking to me this way and is suddenly telling me i'm not the father of the baby!? I never called back but her mother always kept in contact with me.
The baby was born and soon I found out she was the only one who signed the birth certificate. I never knew about the birth of my son, was never there to see him, was never allowed to doctor visits, I never got to hold her belly, all of the gifts I bought for my son I gave away when she told me the baby wasn't mine. She would leave the baby at her mother's and I would go see the one which was supposed to be my son, I Held him for the first time and cried that night.
Eventually she contacted me and see if I came near her son and kept going to her mothers house or even saw my car around her mother's place, that she would call the cops on me and put a PFA on me. What the hell is her problem?!!? I eventually cut off all communication with her mother, friends that talked to her and also stopped checking her myspace.
Its been 3 months and I have no idea how or what she is doing but I will never forget how she torn my heart apart, made me believe something that isn't true, to this day almost a year now.....I have not been able to move on and the day she broke up with me, it only took her a couple of weeks to find another love were as I have only been hurting for her loss and for the loss of my son.
I have been saving up money like crazy so prepare myself for a court battle.
The last news I got from her mother was that she was planning to move to another country. She said this was unprecedented and that if she was going this far with things, something was not right, that she was planning something.
My guess is she thinks I was with another girl some how when she left my house, that or something I don't know. But, it is clear that she is doing everything in her power to stop me from seeing my son.
I'm sorry I hi-jacked your thread but as you can see, our stories are very much the same just like everyone else around here.
So my best advice to you is....fuck the mother, worry about the baby, she can't scare and you have every right to see your son. Save money, go to court, explain everything to the lawyer or judge. The more things she does to avoid you, the more she is sinking her self! If she moves to never be found again and some how the court manages to get a DNA out and the baby turns out being yours.....she will be in a lot of trouble....so much trouble that she may loose custody of her child altogether since this will be considered kid-napping. Just make sure you have a stable job and a hefty sum saved up. You want to make sure you are in a better financial position then her with a stable place to live also....when the judge compares the facts with this observation, she will be sorry for all the bullshit shes done to you.
I will never believe in a woman again. Some women just want to get pregnant so they can collect taxes, government support and money.....money is the scary part....if you the father, take no action, a couple of years later she can sue you for backed support! In this case, you have no choice but to pay up or be jailed.....just so you see how fucked up people are, women have done this to many men already and most of the time, sometime the bad guy in all of this is the women herself.
Don't expect her to come running back to you when the baby is born either, her hormones will still be raging and she wont come to her senses not for another year after the baby's birth, cuz now she has to wake up in the middle of the night to calm down a crying baby and she will use that as an excuse to hate or dislike you even more.
Go out, live your life....keep in mind that you are fighting a war and that while you both aren't together anymore, you will be off in the distance loading your weapon with ammo so that when the day comes, you can fire off your rounds.....do nothing and it is her that will triumph over you.