My Pregnant GF Left Me I Am Heartbroken

3 Replies
chris0420 - December 13

So I met this amazing girl during the summer and was very hesitant to get involved with her. For one thing she just left her husband but told me she was going through a divorce. I really liked her after hanging out but refused to get involved. She persuaded me that she loved me and that she is done with her husband. After the summer she moved in with me and things we were great. After about 2 months she gave me a scare and told me she was thinking about going back to her husband. I was devastaded and cried and even slept downstairs for the nite. The next morning I tried to leave for work early and she got intimate with me as she saw how emotional I was. She decided to stay to think about things and then a few days later she tells me she is pregnant. My first response was do you want an abortion? She seemed to have a I dont care att_tude while I was the one crying. She told me how the pregnancy is the answer to her problems and she is supposed to stay with me. During her first month of pregnancy she just became this different person. No affection... I couldnt be intimate with her and she had no motivation to do anything all day. I would come home from work and just see nothing but hatred in her eye. It came to the point where I felt for her so much that I offered her a plane ticket home to see her family. She seemed really happy about it considering how bored she was being alone at my house. After I bought her plane ticket she would just post on her myspace like 10 more days then 9 etc. Then we went to our 2nd ultrasound and she just didnt speak with me. Finally I asked her what is going on and she told me she doesnt see a future with me. I was heartbroken and even called the airline to change her flight for the next day cause I felt she just needed space. As she was packing i felt like i couldnt breathe. She told me to calm down and everything will be fine. She needed to come back for the rest of her stuff and how she wanted us to work cause I was the dad. When she got home she deleted me from her life. Deleted pics of us on her myspace and even said she was single. Things got really ugly and she said she is coming back and leaving to go back home. I ended up cancelling her flight back cause she threatened that I couldnt. I felt powerless and i paid over 500 bucks for her to come back to my place just to leave. She wouldnt give me answers and said she doesnt want to talk about us. She even told me she was speaking with her husband of what it would be like if they got back together. She ended up coming back that day even when I cancelled the flight. I was at work while she came and I had all her stuff packed in her car so she could be in and out. I forgot to pack 1 item but I just thought she wouldnt be showing up and I figured I would see her. She ended up packing and leaving. I decided to call her and next thing I know she puts me on the phone with the cops and she is on my driveway asking for this one item. I just felt hurt cause all she had to do was ask me and I would of gave it to her. I was terrified and legally the cops couldnt enter my house so she just left. Its been almost 2 weeks now and I havent heard from her. I am afraid to call or even email... how much of this can be the horomones? Please ladies any advice... cause I am losing it not knowing where she is or what she wants

 

stacyk3107 - December 16

Alot of it can be hormones but I honestly think she wasn't ready for a relationship so soon after leaving her husband. Are you sure the baby is yours? I do not want to sound like I am judging her but it seems like she may have been intimate with her husband as well. You can not control the situation or how she reacts. Just give her some space, she needs to calm done and really think about what she is doing. Pregnancy can cause women to feel some crazy feelings and emotions...I know...I am a very hormonal pregnant woman! My best suggestion to you is the you legally protect yourself, meaning that when she has the baby seek a paternity test to make sure you are the father. If you are the father then go to court and get what is ent_tled to you...joint custody of your baby. If the baby isn't yours, then you will be protected from having to pay anything to her for child support or anything else.

 

anebir - December 21

I'm in a similar situation - my ex is due to give birth in a couple of weeks and my life has been turned upside down. I've now got through the depression as we split up a few months ago and as you seem to be where I was at then a few bits of advice - even if you are not sure you are the father look at you becoming a father as a wonderful thing, even if you don't end up back with the mother. - hard as it might be do not channel your anger/frustration towards the mother - her hormones/emotions would be all over the place even if you were still together and you will do no good by winding her up, and you have a selfish motive for this anyway:- If you do not get back together and the baby is yours and you want to have as much involvement/contact with your child then unfortunately the legal machinery is slow and riddled with inadequacies for absent parents, so you will be relying on the mother's goodwill if you want much contact in the early days following birth

 

dls75 - December 28

I thought I was the only one dealing with. Similar to your situation, I also recently got involved with a wonderful woman that was separated and going through a divorce. Being with her was everything I ever wanted in a relationship. We dated for about 9 months when we found out she was pregnant (which was a miracle in itself since she only had a minimal chance due to medical reasons). Everything was bliss and we were both excited and happy about having a baby together. Then she lost her job, moved out of my apartment and back into her house that she still owned and which her ex still lived. Everything just started to get worse and worse. I tried to talk to her and show her that I loved her more than anything and that I wanted to be there for her but she kept pushing me away. she agreed to go to counseling with me and it seemed to be helping. Then after not hearing from her for 2 days, she calls me up and breaks things off with me. She even told me that she wanted to get back with her husband if he would take her. As you can imagine I was crushed and did not know what to do. I tried to talk to her but she would not return my calls. Then she came to my work one day to tell me she got her job back but she had to move 16 hours away. She then asked me if I would go with her. I told her yes, but we needed to talk about it. we had agreed to talk the next day. That whole week she avoided me until I got ahold of her on the Friday. She told me she leaving that Sunday. She granted me the opportunity to meet with her for 30 minutes which turned out to be an agruement with her telling me that there is no us and that she wants to get back with her husband but he doesn't want to. She text me about a week after she left stating that she can't trust me and how much I hurt her (I only ever tried to love and be there for her). She even states that I threatened her when I told her that I wanted to be part of our childs life. I explained to her how much I missed her and I was sorry that she felt the way that she does. She returned by stating that I was having relationship problems and I was being selfish when her wold was upside down. I thought things over and I have no choice but to pack things up and move to where she is. She is now surrounded by her family and friends but I have to make this move for 2 reasons. First and foremost to be there for my child and secondly to get back into her life because I love her so much. She found out through a friend that I was moving and she was very surprised. We talked for 2 hours on the phone that night and I haven't heard from her since. I have been in a depressed state since she left and I need her back in my life. It's difficult to deal with but I have to believe this is all due to hormones and that there is a chance for us to be a loving family. I cannot let her go without trying everything that I can even if it means leaving my own family and friends. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out. Give her time if she wants it but don't give up if you love her that much.

 

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