My Pregnant Girlfriend Seems To Hate Me

648 Replies
hopefull_dad - October 15

Hi there did any of you have any positive outcomes in your relationships, mainly polly and Mikinho, i am going throuhg the same and would like to know how your situations turned out Thanks

 

somefungus - November 2

Hey bro i am going through that same thing you are right now, my girl is happy with everyone else and she absolutely hates me right now, and it is eating me up just as much. we just got a new apt together and she is living with her mom right now because she needs her space from me. it hurts a lot she won't call me or even talk to me right now and we had a strong relationship b4 she got pregnant. that best advice is just work as much as you can, call her everynow and again and make sure she is ok but just stay out of her way.

 

e. l. d. - March 4

My girlfriend is 6 weeks pregnant and i've only known her for 9 weeks. It was a shock to both of us when we found out less than 3 weeks ago and it's been difficult to deal with emotionally since. We seemed to have fun together before, but she's spoken to me only once in the last week and only communicated through texting and won't answer my phone calls. I've tried to express how I feel and how I want to make it work and that I am willing to change my life for her, but i also acted like a real jerk when she stopped talking to me because I didn't understand. Today I asked if she still considered me her boyfriend and was relieved to hear "yes i just needed space". Trust me it kills going through this and I think I've learned a lot about myself the last couple days. Reading these have helped. Any advice on helping me function as a human being in the mean time?

 

brd8808 - March 5

e.l.d. My situation is similar to yours, except there is no chance for me and the mother to ever be together. This is my choice. At first I was very frustrated with the sudden change and angst that seem to be, pointed directly at me. I realize that a lot of it was hormones and fear. What I did was tell her that I was here when she needed but I would leave her be until she asked. I don't know whats up with women and text messaging I guess there's a reason why they like them so much but I ended up blocking my Babies mother from texting me because she'd say really evil things to me via text which, gets old at 3 in the morn. Anyway how I deal with it is I talk to her Family first to let them know. No matter what I'm going to be there for our child( mind you she'd kill me if she knew I did this), and I ask them to please keep me informed, luckly they were very respectful and agreed. Next I started spending more time with my friends who have children to learn what to do. This also keeps the coming child a reality which can get hard when your seperated from the mother. Now she's about 22 weeks we found out it is a girl, which is what she wanted so she seems to have calm down somewhat. Your situation will probably get better quicker than mine because I my b.m. was pretty messed up before I got her pregnant. But ( I hate hearing this but it's true) just be patient let her be because she's scared and worring about her relationship with you is probably just added stress. I know it's instinct to want to help, but really just a__suring her your there for the kid, and space is all the help you can give right now. Also when she gets angry at you, drop the conversation as soon as it starts, just agree with her, or get ready for a long night. Rationality and sanity appear to go on vacation especially during the first 20 weeks or so. Luckly I have a few good friends who let me vent to them about my situation, and I know it never leaves the room. If you dont have that with anyone I'd suggest a clergyman or a counsler, because you will get p__sed at times and you definatly don't want her to see that. I have the temperment of a bo tree, and there have been times in the last months where I beleive I could of chewed nails I was so angry. Other than these things i'd say just keep doing what you need to prepare for fatherhood. Focus on finaces and the removal of any vises you may have that you don't when the kid comes. Hope This helps. Good luck to ya bro.

 

e. l. d. - March 5

Well I just found out today through a good friend of mine that there's a chance it's not mine. Apparently she was dating someone right before we met. This is a question I asked her that was weighing on me within a few days of when we found out because we hadn't been together that long. She told me that was not a possibility and proceeded to be pretty upset I asked that question. At this point I'm not going to mention anything to her, but just wait and see. If she never brings it up I'm eventually going to need to know myself. I'm not sure what to do now?? Wait until the baby is born to get a paternity test or bring up the fact that I know what I know any sooner?

 

brd8808 - March 5

I personally would never sign a birth certificate for any child with out a paternity test, i know too many guys that have been played for suckers that way and are stuck supporting someone else's child. Medicare will pay for the test if you don't sign. how to go about sharing this news takes tact. I'm a pretty upfront person so I just told her I didn't think she was a liar but there is no way for me to be sure without the test. I put it off on myself saying i'm a naturally mistrusting person, I hadn't known her long, and I been screwed over a lot blah blah blah. My b.m. took it quite well but this was as soon as we found out, and she hadn't started freaking out yet. Still I'd be up front with what you know and how you feel now. she may get p__sed but it will give her more time to get over it before the kid comes. Thats just my opinion though i'm no expert but I always try to take care of hard situations as soon as possiable. Keep in mind the worse she handles it the more likely she is unsure herself, so the more reason for the test. Since I told My b.m. the first time it hasn't even been brought up again it's just a given.

 

Gavino - July 7

Registered because I just wanted to thank all the women in here for their honest input. My girlfriend is struggling to find anything to like about me at the moment - now I know it's normal - according to the books she's supposed to be very romantic about now. She's not and my heart is breaking, but I can wait for her now I know it's not out of the ordinary. Thanks ladies.

 

t2k888b8rd - August 1

Wow! I'm so glad I found this site! I'm 1mnth preg and I've been feeling soooo confused! My fiance and I had plans to get married b/4 our unexpected preg, now I'm just all over the place on how I feel. I had this idea of how my life was to be.... expericnce life as married couple then have baby, cuz the baby will change everything....I'm afraid the baby will change our relationship in negative way. So many emotions! Thank you everyone for your input! Now, I feel like this is normal, and I'm not as crazy as thought I was, haha. Thx!

 

njust1 - October 29

I am going through this exact situation. Well with a couple additional complications. My girlfriend and I got an apartment together. the day we moved in we found out she was pregnant. About two weeks later I went out to celebrate with some buddies and ended up getting arrested(Operating while intoxicated). Thus losing my job and her losing her security ,I a__sume she feels. I got out of jail and immediately checked myself into an inpatient treatment program (she had left town while I was in jail) .when I got out she came home, said she wanted to work things out. She didn't give it the slightest shot, actually started getting physically abusive. One night I asked her what was with her cornering me and shoving me over the toilet seat being left up ( I know it sounds silly,but to her it was a big deal) she said "I don't Love you anymore." She has continued to live here,but still states that she loves me but is not "In Love". We are going on week three of this. What I have done is decided to wait on her hand and foot ;if she wants it she gets it, if she hasn't asked for anything I ask what I can do for her. I always offer to rub her feet/back/shoulders/hips whatever is hurting and she allows all of this and seems to enjoy it at times I think I even see a glimmer of Love in her eyes for me. The one thing she is doing that is killing me is telling me tht we are not together and I am not to refer to her as my girlfriend, rather, roommate (I added roommate that I knocked up..lol..she thinks its funny). I am wondering if I should continue to try and do everything for her or should I take a step or two back ? I am working again and security is returning, and yes, shame on me for drinking and driving I am also paying legal consequences for that, but it doesn't interfere with her schedule or timing at all... Any help would be great...

 

stspra - December 3

I'm so glad I found this forum I was beginning to think I was going slowly mad. I'm nearly 12 weeks pregnant and suffered with bad PMT to the point where my partner made me go the doctors, this never really got sorted before I got pregnant so I half expected to have a few mood swings. What I have been experiencing though is something else and I have been on the phone to my friends with kids constantly being rea__sured is this normal what I'm feeling. I love my boyfriend and in the past we had the best relationship apart from when I was due on my period and I couldn't stand him being near me, I constantly thought of my ex boyfriends and that my life would be better without him. Now I'm pregnant it feels so real and this forum board has been the only thing that has made me realise that these feelings are due to my hormones and not the fact that I want to leave my boyfriend. I expected us to be really close when I got pregnant but we are not at the minute and I'm finding I want to talk to my friends more and spend time alone, I'm hoping this will change as I move nearer to the birth but at the minute I'm craving my girl time and feeling totally out of control as far as the changes to my body are happening. Look at it from the other angle I can only advise that you give her as much space as she needs and try not to take every arguement to heart, I know when me and my partner argue he won't relent and that makes me so angry whereas if he would just let me have my say then it wouldn't progress into such a big issue. It may be difficult and you may not agree with her flying off the handle over a stupid issue but it's worth just writing it off as hormones and trying to see past it. Both partners go through huge changes particularly emotionally when expecting a baby and from my point of view when my partner even broaches the subject that he's finding it difficult that infuriates me as they only have the emotional side to deal with, us women have the physical changes as well as emotional and if we were a drinker and smoker before all that goes too. Try to speak to your friends about your concerns and fears at this stage until your partner is ready to let you in, I know this is difficult for a guy to do but at the minute all she will be thinking about is herself. I wake up every day hating my partner and wishing I wasn't pregnant then I feel unbelievably guilty as there are so many women out there who struggle to have a baby, I have to rely on my friends reminding me how excited I was when we decided to start trying and how excited I was when I found out. I really hope you find this reply useful and I've been laying in bed crying all night ready to leave my partner in the morning and stay with my Mum, this board has made me realise there is hope and that I need to talk to my partner and perhaps show him this too. Thank you and I hope you get things sorted and I hope we do too!!!!

 

dennies - December 18

I m also confused on what to do. my girl was everything to me. we were friends, patners she was like a sister and i was like her brother. we enjoyed our love like no one did on earth. now she is pregnant and she purely hates me and cant even answer my calls. she even switches her phone off just to avoid me. every means i try to get her back is nothing but stupid ideas to her. my love had turned into tears and painful times. i really wish she never got pregnant coz i missed the old loving her. But I cant stop loving her the only way I will give up on her is the day she will tell me tht she is getting married with sum1 else. I dearly love her. I got to this site nd started to realise more things about what she is goin through. this site helped a lot nd i believe she will get back to me after all.

 

crazysheepness - April 28

SO, this seems to be a HUGE issue. When women become pregnant, they CHANGE. Not only do they change, they become aggressive, mean, verbally and mentally abusive....or maybe that's just MY situation.... My girlfriend and I go at it. It's sooo hard to deal with! Don't EVER bring this issue up to another woman; all they will say is "It's the hormones". Well, someone out there NEEDS to do a study or SOMETHING so we Men understand WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. Man, I can't right by this woman to save my life. No matter what I do, say, go, eat, etc...she is PISSED. This truly makes me only want 1 child. But, we had issues before the pregnancy. Women who start off sweet than turn very sour are no fun to be around. I'm glad we're having a daughter and I want nothing more than to be a family, so, I stay. I hope it will get better, but I seriously doubt it.

 

missmyfamily - May 5

we fell in love and got engaged and talked about having ababy so we tryed and were succesful i love her whith all my heart we were both over joyed when she became preg a few weeks later she couldnt stand the site of me.no matter what i did she would go off at me.after work she would not even say hello when i would walk in the door.i done all the washing dishes clothes vac_me the house she didnt have to do a thing,she would abuse me on how i would hang the clothes on the line.her doctor said that i should move out so i did and 3 weeks later she said i could move back in the night i did i was laying in bed then she kicked me several times as hard as she could and said that i was snoring i was awake and wasent .she said get out of my bed i got angry and said i paid for it how about you get out as there was another bed in the spare room she said get out of my fn house then tryed to hit me with a baseball bat. so i packed up andwent to leave she said she would call the police and tell them that i hit her so i broke the phone cord and went next door and called them.she let me go to the first ulta sound then said what the fn hell are you smiling about the next one she said dont fn look at me infront of the woman who was doing the ultrasound on her.i have tryed to talk to her she baggs me out and i listen then as soon as i say anything she says get out and gets angree.all i want to do is love and support her i gave her space and would txt her every couple of days to tell her i love her and was there fo her so she took outafamily violence order out on me.she has changed so much she is completly opposite to what she was befor she got preg nasty crule hatefull so now she tells me that she will drop the charges one week then the next she said that she wont because i will want to see the baby when its born and that she will give it her ex husbands surname and she will move so i dont have any contact whith my baby yes ive got angree and frustrated all i want is my family back i havent got a mean bone in my body i dont understand she says we will get back together then says we wont its killing me with worry

 

mrfaosfx - May 21

Me and my girlfriend were very in love with each other and cared a lot about each other. I was happy to find out I was going to be a father when she showed me the pregnancy test. Then, I just don't know what happened. She became this totally different person. Its like someone else took over. She started loosing her feelings for me, I would say I love you to her and she slowly started not to say it back. And then, she decides to move out of the house because she said she was confused and overwhelmed. I started thinking that maybe she had fallen for another man. I tried to ask her to stay but she was determined to leave no matter what. In the end, we had a conversation were she said, we should just stay as friends. About a week later I go visit her in her new apartment and I try talking and instead she just lost it on me, told me she didn't love me anymore and this hurt so much. I miss her so much and how we used to be. We were beautiful together and it hurts now that I can hold her, kiss her or come home from work to sleep beside her, I turned into an emotional mess and had to pull myself together and accept that it was over. I am very happy to know that i'm going to become a dad but not very happy to know that it will not be with the women I love, like a family together. After what i've read here, I feel some hope. Perhaps, it is the hormones, because at times, she calls me over to please her! But after wards she kicks me out the door, I feel like i'm being used. I'm going to agree with everyone here and just give the girl some space. She is 13 weeks and has begun her 2nd trimester. I am anxious for this pregnancy to be over, I hope that that I will not only have my baby in the end, I will have the women I love and my baby, together as a family and not separated.

 

mrfaosfx - May 21

am very happy to know that i'm going to become a dad but not very happy to know that it will not be with the women I love, like a family together. --- let me correct this, I got confused here; "I meant to say "but not very happy to know that the women I love (the mother) doesnt love me anymore."

 

rasta - May 21

man my girl is 13 weeks pregnant tommorrow and that same thing has happened to us. I havent seen her in a month and just on sunday she started to completely ignore me all together, the only thing that has happened is she got pregnant. Email me sometime if you want to talk hepp22athotmail

 

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