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rasta - May 21st, 2009 11:15 AM

man my girl is 13 weeks pregnant tommorrow and that same thing has happened to us. I havent seen her in a month and just on sunday she started to completely ignore me all together, the only thing that has happened is she got pregnant. Email me sometime if you want to talk hepp22athotmail


t2k888b8rd - June 14th, 2009 11:46 PM

During my pregnancy I treated my bf like c___p! b/4 being prego things were great. We planne on eloping, just moved in together...then we had unplanned pregnancy...man was I crazy! I treated him like c___p. I was full of emotions. I 2nd guess everything! Now our baby is 3mnths and all 3 of us are doing great! Once she came along my emotions were under control, and I loved my bf even more. THiings finally got back to normal. My bf stuck in there through all the crazyness, and now we set a wedding date, and he is the man of my dreams! My best advise is just stick in there, pretty sure things will get better :0)


mrfaosfx - June 15th, 2009 2:13 PM

Just hang in there, the woman of my dreams which used to be my ex, is not my woman again. During the first weeks, she treated me like a c___p, we even broke up because she needed space. After several weeks of madness, emotional break down and lost of hope, everything came through. Now we are back together again, my girl is 18 weeks now and I just came over from her house. We went out to eat, had a little you know what, lol...and I felt the baby kick a couple of times. Imagine that, our little baby, its existence only because of us, thats a beautiful thing to think about :)


mrfaosfx - June 15th, 2009 2:15 PM

I mean to say is NOW my woman again, NOT my woman again.


john8424 - June 28th, 2009 3:19 PM

i have just a question my fiance which is my ex now as of saturday :( is pregnant she is probably maybe a month or not less. we were enaged things seemed great we had our fights but who doesnt. just yesterday she calls me up saying its over and she cant do it. bringing things up that were in the past. saying i am a lier and she hates liers. yeah i lied about somethings but nothing big or something so bad that you would leave someone over.. plus we had the talk before and we let it go and i told her i wont do it anymore. we got past that. but now lastnight she brings it back up and now she left me saying she is fed up and cant do it anymore.. and that she wont want to be with me agian? wtf? think i lost her for good? i always was there for her and her family they all loved me around them. plus i wanted to be there for my child growing up.


mrfaosfx - June 28th, 2009 4:37 PM

Hey john8424, hang in there buddy. This happens to all of us at one point. My girl had a rough week and I contacted her and asked her why she wasn't texting me like she normally does. She said she had more important things to do. Of course, this hurt me, because it didn't make me feel loved or special to her. Pregnant women can be monsters! Then just yesterday, I told her the famous "I love you." And she just said, "OK". I asked her why she didn't say it back, she responded, "Well right now I'm too stressed to be with someone, so yeah its over." Yup, just like that through a text message, I went over to her house and talked to her..."why? are you doing this again?" she responds, "Just for now." I left in anger but controlled myself.

How can you just break up with someone, just like that, she didn't care one bit and guess what, this time I took it really well, I didn't turn into an emotional break down cuz frankly, i'm quite tired of her att_tude and the way she plays around with my heart. It still hurt me, even if it was just a bit.

During this time, I will not contact her anymore and I will not contact her even if she contacts me. This time i'm going away for a full month and when I do decide to initiate contact and she wants me back, I wont play easy this time. Honestly, I dont want to be with her anymore during this pregnancy, I will not be dealing with these random break ups.

As for you john, just stay back man, dont call her, dont text her, dont go see her. She will begin to worry about you even if she doesn't want too, if she really does love you, she will come looking for you but don't play easy man, go smooth.


john8424 - June 28th, 2009 4:58 PM

thats just it i want to do that but im afraid if i do that i wont ever see her agian or hear from her agian. i do love her alot. i wan to be a part of my childs life but she said to me today because i asked her you dont seem upset or anything. so she replied to me i am upset but i am alittle angry. as well as to that text she also said i will acll you tonight because i asked her to. and thats it" she said. part of me is scared of loosing her for good. she took everything that was me with her.


mrfaosfx - June 28th, 2009 6:54 PM

I also want to be a part of my childs life. You have to accept the fact that you may or may not loose her but, you must be strong and do the no contact thing. I too am scared of loosing mine.

I'm scared of loosing mine because I want us to be together like a family. Husband and wife with screaming kids running around the house. I visit my friends and I see these things happening and it touches my heart. I have talked to many of them and I can confirm that most pregnant women distant themselves from the father of the baby for obvious reasons; 1. you injected the recipe for life 2. now she sits back for 9 months and goes through hell while you are perfectly fine and don't have any of the stuff she is going through...she blames it all on you, its all your fault, so she hates you for it, lol!


mrfaosfx - June 28th, 2009 6:57 PM

If we ever decide to have another baby in the future, I am moving out before she moves out on me. When she gives me the news shes pregnant again, "Thats great baby! Now i'm moving out, cuz i'm not dealing with your hormonal break down that you get when your pregnant, so see ya and have a nice pregnancy! Oh and don't contact me unless its an emergency, chao chao!" muahaha. One day i'll have my sweet revenge! LOL!


john8424 - June 28th, 2009 7:55 PM

ok well what about this. in the text she said ill call you later and thats it".. i said she seems so cold and angry and if she even is at all upset she told me "i am upset but also angry" just i dont get it is all. we were fine than all of a sudden this now we are broken up?! i was always there we put all this behind us at one point than she brought everything back up and left me saying shes fed up. but there is more to this that i am wondering. she wants to go back to school for nursing, but with a baby idk how shes going to do this alone.. she has a 15yo sister and a mother who has cancer and goes to the hospital more than anything. we had everything going for us a nice wedding planned a house everything and now its gone? just like that? and she doesnt even seem remotely upset... i dont understand it.. its like a wierd nightmare i am in.


john8424 - June 28th, 2009 9:31 PM

so i got off the phone with her tonight. told her i will be able to take her to doctor appoitments we agreed to this call today so.. she sounds so cold towards me.. and according to her she doesnt think it will ever work out with us. strange and hurtful :( i swear this just sucks alot. you know i try and try and be there for her and her family and in 1 night everything b__ws up from things we have put in the past. yet according to her it never was in the past?! this just sucks


mrfaosfx - June 29th, 2009 8:27 AM

Ok, like I told you, pregnant women can be monsters. I don't know how far along she is but I tell you that the hormones are taking over and if you put more stress on her about constantly trying to find out why she doesn't want to see you anymore, you will only push her away even further.

She will return to "normal" around the start of her second trimester. That is about 3 months + 1 week into the pregnancy. Around this you can expect more from her but don't request anything.

Remember that you are going to be a dad and altho you do not want to loose her, your main focus has to shift towards the baby. Ask yourself, am I prepared for this baby? Will she be prepared for this baby?

Start planning for things that she will remember. During this time start saving lots of money and plan a big surprise baby shower for her, talk to her family and friends and ask for their help, she will love this, specially if it was your idea but remember, you can't do it with the help of her family, so make sure you can talk to them!

Also, start thinking about her too, soon she will start getting bigger. Never give up on her, always tell her you love her even if she doesn't say it back. Just try not to be to attached to her. When you can, ask her..."when your belly gets bigger, maybe we can go out and get you some maternity clothes." Thats showing you care, your focusing on the pregnancy, something she is scared but yet excited about and your adding to that excitement!

You need to completely forget about love. You don't have to see love to know its there. You don't need to kiss her or have s_x with her, love is there regardless and I think you should know this by now. She still loves you but she doesn't want to focus on that and right now neither should you, love should be natural at this point, you will see.

When you go out to shop for her (maternity clothes) & talk about the baby or what to do after the baby is born, you guys will bond once again. But if you start asking her "so are we going to be together again when the baby is born?" then you blew it, cuz then she will think, oh hes just doing all this to see if I would change my mind...of course she will probably say no man, you can't ask her that!

Do what I told you. You just need to show her you can be there for her. And when you go to take her something, be unpredictable...don't tell her your coming over, ask her were she is first, if she says home, then don't let her know your coming, go and then tell her your outside and you need to give her something, hand it to her, she MUST say "thank you" you say "ok" and then be on your way.

I'm sure others have even better advice than I do, I'm beginning to sound like Dr. Phil here, lol.


mrfaosfx - June 29th, 2009 8:32 AM

I'm sorry, there is a part in my post that is incorrect;

"you can't do it with the help of her family, so make sure you can talk to them!"

Should of said,

"you can't do it with out the help of her family, so make sure you can talk to them!"

I hate that you can't edit posts with this board.


john8424 - June 29th, 2009 8:38 AM

well that i got lol. i do understand what your saying but idk i am kinda scared that she is taking anything that she made out to be a lie and is just holding that agianst me no matter what even though she said the same day we broke up like a few hours before it that she loves me and everythings fine. but i guess they werent fine after all. i am just really confused and hurt by all of this. i never did anything bad i never hit or hurt her i always treated her well and her family well. and no you arent sounding like dr. phil i do appreciate the help and advice. this is my first time going threw this and yeah i am ready to be a father in fact when i found out about it i was excited and was looking forward to it. and i think she is probably about close to 1 month pregnant. i know i am saying the same thing over and over agian but i am trying to piece it together i my head but i just cant figure it out. and i just have this gut feeling that she wont want me back. no matter how much i will be there for her and my child i just feel its over and she just doesnt want me anymore. to wake up in bed without her there is killing me inside.


mrfaosfx - June 29th, 2009 10:52 AM

Wow, 1 month, then this is just the beginning. She still has the "love" feeling for you. Don't want to make it any worse than it already it but be prepared for the worst, this is just the beginning.

Soon she will tell you she hates you, doesn't want to see you anymore and that she doesn't love you. Or, the infamous, "I love you but, i'm not 'in love' with you."

If she gets moody do not go into combat with her on an argument.

And the feeling of not having her in bed, thats what hurt me the most man. My girl lived with me for 2 months when we first moved in and when I came from work. Knowing I could hold her every night was all that motivated me to keep going every day. Just having her close to me, being able to smell her hair, hold her tight and feel her body heat, it was wonderful but once you loose all of that and she is no longer there, you find that you cannot sleep, its a terrible feeling to recover from, I tell you man, I wanted to hang myself. Cried like crazy, asking myself "what do I do wrong?"

I was an emotional break down for a month. I even bought books on "how to pull your ex back", read lots of books about couples breaking up and I think thats what brough my sanity back. When ever you can, go out to a book store and shell out some cash if you are into it, do some reading like I did, it helps a lot and makes you stronger. Nobody in this world is born knowing everything...hell you weren't born knowing how to handle a break up or how to handle being with a pregnant women...let alone how to be a father. Go out there and purchase some books, you'll do yourself a big favor!

Keep the posts coming, you and I are in the same situation, except my girl is 5 months now and yours is just beginning that hormonal ride.


john8424 - June 29th, 2009 11:44 AM

i also sent her a text in the morning saying if you need a ride to the docs let me know i will take you got nothing back so i sent her another later on saying let me know how the doc visit goes and if you need a ride or not. still nothing back. its painful thats for sure. i wanted to say i love you but she just told me its not worth it. i thought i did everything right. i thought the past was just that.. in the past. but so fast a person can change and tell me its over. going from saying i love you and were fine than a few hours later saying i dont think its going to work that i lied about everything and she hates a lier. but truth be told yeah i lied about some stuff.. nothing so severe or terrible where you would say i hate him. everything i said i tried to make happen i even told her that. but she wasnt hearing it just focused on its over. alot of things remind me of her and places we been together even where i proposed to her.. than thoughts of her bieng with another man come into my head and wow let me say that is something that drives me to suicide at times. i know she wants space and to be left alone and idk why its soo hard to do that for me.. i just was so used to her texting me when we werent together and her calling me when she didnt spend the night. i think last night was the first night it all hit me like a ton of bricks. and the morning.. normally she would poke me til i wake up which i always thought was cute and i would give her a hard time just joking around with her but now its gone. waking up seein her face or hearing her voice at night that completely took everything from me. i havent eaten in days can hardly sleep.

i layed in bed this morning waiting for a text that never came from her saying im awake now or i am up. waiting to see about the doctors visit and i was looking forward to bieng there with her and one day hearing the heartbeat of my child everything. it just happened so fast and unexpected. she told me she gave me time to tell her the truth but i didnt say anything because we had went over it before and i a__sumed it was done and in the past and we were past it. but i was way wrong i guess.


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