Partner Doesn T Want To Be In With Me At The Birth

5 Replies
Emma - July 26

Hi, I'm 16 weeks pregnant and my partner and I are both very much looking forward to having our first child, however, my partner has told me that he doesn't want to be in the room with me when I give birth. His reason is that his father was not at his birth and he wants to be like his dad, he says he's just an old fashioned guy (only 30 yrs old) and feels that it's no place for a man to be. I feel really upset by this because I really feel I need his support on the day. I am quite nervous about giving birth and also feel that it is such a significant time for us both that he should be by my side when it happens. I know that I can have my mother as my birthing partner but I just feel that this is not the same. I desparately want him to be there with me and really feel strongly about this. I feel hurt that he doesn't want to be with me even if just to support me. Am I being unreasonable? What do you ladies think? Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice or thoughts on this subject would be very much appreciated.

 

Jamie - July 27

You've got several more months to resolve the issue, so I wouldn't stress TOO much about it right now. Just explain to your partner that you need his support, and hopefully he'll change his mind over the next few months.

 

Emma - July 28

Thanks Jamie I hope you're right. I'm just very anxious and nervous about the whole experience, I know his support would mean the world to me.

 

me - July 28

Maybe you can get doula.

 

lilmum - July 28

maybe he's more afraid to actually watch the birth and telling him he doesn't need to watch it, he can just sit next to you and hold your hand, might help him feel more comfortable. If your planning on an epidural, let him know you won't be screaming or anything and you just want him to keep you company while you wait.

 

Emma - August 1

Thanks to you all for responding, I think a doula can be a great support for some women, but on top of all my anxieties about the birth, I think it is such a special moment that my partner should be sharing with me. I would be sad if he wasn;t there to share it with me. I think it must be fear cause his other reason doesn't make sense to me? I have told him he can stay up the top end but he's still not up for it. On the positive side, a few of his male friends have been telling him it's the best experience he'll ever have being at the birth of his child, so hopefully this will give him something to ponder in the meantime.

 

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