Pleas Help Me With My Boyfriend

47 Replies
Kimberly - March 21

I am a little over 13 weeks and my boyfriend has been stressing me out. He is excited to have the baby but I stay home by myself most of the time (lonely) while he takes off with his friends for drinks or smoking crack, for example, the day we found out I was pregnant, he bought 3 grams of coke so he could smoke crack with his buddy to celebrate the pregnancy (which he didn't tell his friend I was prego) I don't want the father of my child to be a crack head. If he comes home and sees me crying , and I tell him that I need him and he doesn't spend any time with me, he gets mad and stays out all night. I kicked him out and told him unless he gets help I don't want to have anything to do with him. I love him so much and I want him to stop. Some of his friends and I think he's addicted but he just denies it. I'm sick of him treating me like c__p and walking all over me. What do I do?

 

Aisha - March 23

hes already a crackhead and if the authorities find out they will take your baby dur to unsafe home environment.

 

Jeri - March 23

Get out and save your baby. You can have a good life and so can your little one, but you just have to go.

 

mandy~ - March 24

i know it might be hard, but put all your feelings towards him aside and think of your innocent baby, your baby doesnt need a crack head of a father, and you and your baby needs better, he wont stop smoking crack for you he needs profesional help, you need to leave him!!

 

Vivien - March 26

I agree with the others, I'm sorry for you and your baby, but he is not the man you need now.

 

bebe - March 27

loser

 

Misty - March 27

Thinkking he is addicted is an understatment. He is addicted, There isn't a cokehead out there that isn't addicted, it isn't a light little drug. It is very addictive, I had a friend once that let me know when he was a lot younger he sold his car, his house and his boat to support his habit once his job stopped being able to provide him with enough to maintain the high he wanted. Your boyfriend will almost definatly have to hit bottom before he will realize that he doesn't want to kepp living his life that way...and sorry but you staying around isn't going to help him..he is already choosing the drugs over you so don't think that with the baby it will be any different. If you truly want your child to have a good life then you need to go. Maybe someday he will come around and see how much he lost and really decide to change. But as long as you stand by his side what is his motive to try to do any better? Right now he is living a life where he doesn't ever have to do anything right, and yet he still has a girl and friends and a baby on the way (which he went to a celebration for in which he forgot about it). He has no reason to change. Sorry honey but you loving him isn't doing him any good and if you can't be strong enough to cut your losses and go it is going to hurt your baby. Sorry so long.

 

L - April 18

Hi Kimberly, I hope you are still reading this. I'm in the same situation and it really hurts. I stay hopeful because really he's a good person but when he smokes rock, he tells me to have an abortion amongst other things. When they're addicts, they are self-sentred and selfish. i'm trying my best to stay stress free and to forget about him but it's really hard when I'm feeling so alone with this. not the ideal situation. I hope all goes well with you and please take care of you and the baby - he may or may not come around but right now, that's not your primary concern. Love, L

 

kri - April 21

you did right by kicking him out it takes a lot of courge to do something like that my ex was on speed and i tried everything to get him to stop i left him and shortly after he went to prison im pretty sure he is still there....guys wont change unless they think they are doing wrong and if they want to...they are the most selfish things on this earth.....just keep your head up things should get better if not for him than you and your baby ...you have to put the babys needs ahead of yours and yours ahead of his .....good luck

 

Gracie - May 10

Break up with him if hes a crack head u deserve better!

 

amber - May 14

well were you smoking crack. are you sure a baby is right now? leave him once on crack always on crack. have you ever met a recovered crack addict?

 

Manda - July 3

DONT TO SOUND LIKE A MOTHER, BUT GET YOUR BABY AWAY FROM THAT GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU WANT YOUR BABY TO GROW UP A CRACK-HEAD. HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE! LOVE IS NEVER A EXCUSSE! LEAVE HIM, YOU CAN DO SOO MUCH BETTER!!! IM SURE OF IT.

 

samesitch - July 7

I was in the same situation until i got out. I thought if i stick with him through it he would stop and everything would get better. He never did...in fact he only got worse. You sound like you have a wonderful heart and deserve so much better. The lord will bless you and take care of you. Just let him go and if it's meant to be...things have a way of working themselves out.

 

Lisa - July 8

Well first of all I would like to respond to the idiot on here calling herself AMBER. I am a recovering crack addict and have been clean for 3 years. This AMBER person says thats not possible but let me a__sure it is! Now for KIMBERLY I will tell you that at this point you have 2 choices, number 1: Leave this man until he gets clean and stays clean and is serious about recovery or 2: Stay with him and learn to live with an addict and raise your child in an addictive enviornment. These are the only 2 choices you have, NOTHING you can do or say will make hiim quit. But I can give you some advice sense I know what kept getting in my way of getting high and finally made me quit.... Call him on it EVERYTIME he uses, tell everyone and make him be aware that you intend to do this, do not cover up for him at any cost. The more people that know and the more problems it creates makes it harder to use and the user then takes his own RESPONSIBILITY for his own ACTIONS!

 

Lisa - July 8

This is Lisa again from the above message... please feel free to contact me at [email protected]

 

Ranya - July 11

Kimberly how are you now? Pls let us know, you posted your problem a few months ago, hope all is well. Lisa, congratulations on your sucess, I'm just worried if Kimberly provokes him by threatening to expose him everytime that he will get violent.

 

Heather - July 12

OMG! KIM! my boyfriend used to do the SAME EXACT THING! Im 8 months now and I KNOW how you feel girl. Except mine just goes out and drinks all night, he doesnt smoke anything but he DOES sell stuff and he has me worried all night until I see him pull in the drive way safely. I would be crying also and telling him I needed him here with me and I worry about him when he satys out all night. He told me hes not staying up my a__s and hed leave and NOT come home. Id call his cell and he'd hang up on me. Then hed come home the next day wanting to have s_x and I felt guilty for makin him so mad id do it. Trust me. Worry about you and your baby. It is hard, especially when you love your boyfriend as much as I do mine..wich is a lot. we have been together for 4 years and we have a 3 year old lil girl. He also gets in these moods where he tells me hes sorry hes just selfish sometimes and doesnt want to stay home because its boring here. I cant go out and party right now, thats the problem. Hes very excited about the baby he cant wait he brags about his new daughter to everyone BUT he still acts as if his friends are more important sometimes. Hes calmed down a lot though. Also, when my feelings would get hurt and id cry in front of him hed tell me to stop cuz i was being immature and acting like a baby or hed ask me what I was whining about now. And it is VERY hurtful, and im home 24/7 with my lil girl but thats ok because I see it as if he wants to put his friends in front of everything else, HES the one missing out on his other daughter and this pregnancy, not me. So be strong and hang in there. Id literaly throw a gla__s and shatter it when he said "im goin out bye" id be so p__sed. Now im just like OK bye. And ill have my best friend come stay with me for the night. So when he leaves, have someone close to you, a friend, family member anyone, come over, go out rent some movies, and have a girls night at home. Relax and dont get to stressed. I know what yor going through and it IS rough and it hurts a lot sometimes but you cant tie him up like id like to do with mine. So be the bigger person, tell him he either chooses the life he made growing inside you, or his crack, because he cant have both. Tell him you are chosing this little life you made together, and he needs to do the same but tell him to choose whatever makes him the happiest because no matter what he chooses you know you will always have something special that he either can, or can not have. Make him feel guilty. thats what i did and it seemed to work.

 

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