Please Be Patient Its Long But I Need Some Advise

4 Replies
sts107b - August 11

Ok were to begin. I've been involved with a women for three years now, when we first stared off she was married and she had me on the side. She would always run to me when things at home were not good. She would always hint that she was going to leave him and come to me. Well this went on for two years until finely I got tired of the promises. I went out found a new girlfriend was getting ready to join the Air Force when she freaked out and left the husband and came running to me premising the world. Well I fell for it and chose her over would could have been possible a good relationship with this girl. Well We had two months together and we where all over each other and I finely thought my dreams had come through. Well during this time she ask me to get her pregnant and to tell you the truth I wanted one too. Well it happened about three weeks before I left for basic again she was all over me saying how much she wanted to be with me. Well I went to basic for about seven weeks until I was discharged do to a knee injury. Well I got back and it was like everything changed. She never meet me at the airport, which really hurt. She was so distant she did not want me to touch her what so ever, not even hold hands. She told me several things one was that she got use to being alone and was mad that I left and left her to deal with the separation. We talked it through and for now it is a little better she is some what affection but when ever I bring up the future (as in me and her) she really gets mad and says she does not want to talk about that. Ok so if that's the way she wants it then why did we do this? why did we brake up a marriage give up my future and bring a life into the world if we don't have a future. Is all this do to the pregnancy (she is 12 weeks) ? I try to be as affection and supportive has I can but in most instances she just pushes me away and insists on doing it her self. I really love this women and I would do anything for her but I think she is slipping away right before my eyes and my dreams of having a family with her please tell me what I can do to be there for her in the way she needs right now. Please help!!!! Oh I forgot to mention Im 27 years old and she is 37 she still is the cutest thing I have ever seen even though she is older

 

Ann - August 12

I hate to say this, but it might be you were not the only one on the side of her marrage. There could very possibly be someone else which is why she might be distant. Her blaming you because you joined the military is a crock of poop. That is imaturity at it's best. I know you love her and that is hard, but I would look at what is in the best interest of that baby (I would get a DNA test to make sure it's yours) and yourself. Although some women get distant in a relationship while pregnant, since there is no real attachment / commitment with you there is no reason for her to come around and come back. Not to come down on her, but she sounds like someone who needs help. Try counceling, barring that - I would move on and get the DNA test.

 

Mary - August 12

I agree, that DNA test could be a good idea, but how can you offer this kind of things to some one you love?! I think, you have to keep your eyes open, try to see everyting with cold brain: a___lyse her behavior, b/c this is your life too, you don't want to be hurt, aren't you?! It is possibele, that her behavior just a pregnancy hormons, but may be not. Try to talk to her all the time: if she loves you and cares about your feelings she will listen. Good luck !

 

kris - August 12

You fell for someone who took off her ring, ignored her vows, and then promised to be faithful to you - and now you are surprised at her manipulative and deceitful behavior? I was married for 12 years to a cheater - he loved the chase. Chase over, relationship over. Cute means NOTHING. (Mine was cute, too) I am now, 3 years later, married to a mature, faithful, loving man and we are expecting our first together. Dump her and dont look back - get a paternity test, and if positive, love that baby but find yourself an honest woman with whom trust issues wont be a problem. Good luck.

 

dh - August 12

she's just not that into you.

 

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