Pregnant Fiancee Broke Up With Me And Is Giving Mixed Signal

2 Replies
Hurt and confused - November 19

Ok, so heres how everything happened with as much detail as possible. first off, my ex is 19 and im 26. Granted that makes for a large difference, but we thought our maturity levels where in tune with eachother. anyway, on day she texts me and says she wants to break up. we get into a phone conversation about it and i tell her to tell me that she doesnt love me so that i can move on. she refuses because she says thats just mean and its stupid and she wont do it. ultimately she does it and we decide to meet up the next day to exchange things and money that id given her for our trip to Utah the next month. we meet up that day and after seeing me she starts crying and says she doesnt know what she wants and doesnt want to lose me. so we stay together with the stipulation that we dont have t_tles but were still everything we ever were. i was happy because i though this meant she did love me but wasnt sure what love really meant. in that following month things seemed fine until we found out that she was pregnant. we talked it through and i had said that if she wanted to break up then id understand if she wanted an abortion. shes an ex mormon and just doesnt believe in them, but we both knew thats what she really wanted. we decided to make our relationship official at that point. so time goes by and we go to Utah. I propose to her and she accepts. things seem fine. a week after we get home her gay male bestfreind suddenly becomes single and she starts spending waaay more time with him. supporting him in his time of need i suppose. wed talked about that before...that whenever shes with him she decides that she wants freedoms and things that he has and does. she told me she would avoid it. im a very easy going guy and im not about to let her cast aside her best friend for my comfort. so within about a week i get a text message from her saying they're going to a gay bar. i dont take that news well, but i say nothing other than be careful and have fun. the whole night shes sending me picture msgs of half naked people and general club goings on. by around 130am i get p___sy about it and call and remind her that shes pregnant and shouldnt spend too much time in those places. it goes on for a minute and she decideds to freak on the phone, saying im not her daddy and i dont have control over her and she litterally sounded like another person. she was channeling a 16 year old prost_tute. she says that shes tired of all of this and doesnt want the lifestyle anymore. i freak and try to head over there but cant get out of work. the very next morning was supposed to be our first ultrasound, so i go straight to her place after work that morning and her and her gay friend are asleep in her room. him on the floor, after i had mentioned i dont like them sharing a bed. we go to the appointment and instead of the ulrasound we see the dr about abortions. it seems set in her mind that shes not keeping it. all through the rest of the day shes treating me lik c__p, so i ask her if theres something going on and if she would like to break up. she starts crying and says yes. shes tired of treating me badly and she says that we never cliqued as a couple. i say fine and we have our goodbyes and i leave. i catch her mom on the way out and tell her we broke up. for some reason i break out into tears with her mom but not her. on the hour long drive back to my place i txt my ex saying i cried to her mom and im sorry for everything i hope her choice to be alone and be without the baby makes her happier than i ever could and goodbye. she then sends me a worried text saying dont leave her forever, just give her time. the next day i try to talk to her about it al and she completely flipped her opinion. she says she never loved me and theres no chance we'll ever get back together. im killed inside by that and was lost for days. in all honesty, i did pesture her through texts in those few days following all that and she got mean. within th efollowing days we chit chat through txt as if nothing had happened. we set a time to exchange more stuff. she invites me in as if all is normal and we go to her room, which freaked me out, and she sits me down on her bed and shows me a sonogram. she says shes keeping the baby, but does not want to have me in her life. i can be there for all the appointments and she wants to be civil for the child but doesnt want to date me at all. still doesnt love me. i just dont know whats going on here. she says she had her doubt before she got pregnant, but when she did she said al kinds of other things like that was mainly because she thought i was sterile and she wanted kids. im completely torn up about this. at first i was happy shes keeping it, but now im worried that i wont be a real father to it and will play just a small role in its life. i really need some insight into whats going on with her and what i can do to deal with this situation.

 

Hurt and confused - November 19

she was 5 or 6 weeks pregnant when the first break up happened, and about 9 weeks when it happened last with all the mean remarks. when we talk, shes very sweet though. she refuses to see me for some reason but when i went with her to the second drs appointment she seemed so happy. except when i asked her to stare into my eyes and see if she loves me. she says she just feels sorry for me, but i say its love that makes her cry when she looks.

 

mrfaosfx - December 2

Believe it or not, she probably still loves you. Sometimes the best way to experience love is to feel emotionally hurt. She probably gets a lot of satisfaction watching you suffer. Why don't you stop contacting, completely cut off contact with her for say about 2 weeks, maybe a month. See if she attempts to contact you, if she NEVER contacts you, you can bet for sure that she never loved you. A woman that loves you will contact you eventually even to check on you and make sure your ok or just even to say hi but if NEVER EVER contacts you, there was no love there my friend.

 

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