Pregnant Wife Is Mean Help

102 Replies
Help - November 2

My wife is about 1 month pregnant and is terribly angry at everything I do and am -- she is beginning to direct it toward my family and express her disgust with me in front of them and others. In addition to worrying that she will leave, I am afraid she will continue this behaviour in front our child. Does it end or is this learned behavious that carries on after delivery? While I can live with her anger directed at me, she also asks that I do thinks like agree with her that my family are a bunch of jerks. Are there limits as to what a husband should reasonably give in to? Worried Dad: thanks a lot for being there -- good luck.

 

ugh - November 2

just wait, the fun is just beginning

 

Few safe words - November 10

I can sympathize with the expectant fathers in here being one myself. I can sum up my similar situation in the most recent one liner....and I quote, "Have you noticed how annoying you've been since I got pregnant?" Uh....didn't know I was doing anything different, but I think it was the estrogen talking (or whatever evil little hormone that is that makes them psycho) and my wife is usually such a sweet, caring, amazing woman! Being at week 5, this is starting to look like it'll be a long pregnancy. We gotta hang in there guys. Ps...don't let it drive you to drinking or smoking if you can help it.

 

amber k - November 17

hehehe! you poor poor man. Imagine what she must be feeling right now. can you? probally not she might not even know. its hard being a preggo.. you loose control over you body mind and emotions. I was a raging lunnie in public when I was pregnant. Just the thought of everyone starring at me I felt like a whale. Its not all its cracked up to be. It was all my husband could do to be patient with me. he calmly talked to me about it and of corse i was mean to him but i tried to work on it. and i'll tell you what she may be that way after your baby is born too.

 

Clint - January 4

I think my wife wants to kill me .................no joke. She is 24wks pregnant and very hormonal! I dont understand why she dont realize its just her hormones talking, she insists its not her hormones.

 

help - January 4

we are now well past the "you are annoying" stage. We are now into the "I made a mistake ever marrying you, you are an evil, monster, pervert and your mother is a stupid witch" stage. I mean, how can I agree w/ those kinds of statements? Being "miserable, too hot, too big, too tired" justifies being cranky, but does it justify that? Do hormones justify it? I don't know. Am I looking at this the wrong way? Jamie and JS: thanks for your insight -- your posts were very helpful -- but is this what you mean by it "kind of feels like you are going crazy" or is this over the top? Is this full on "depression"? My wife would never consider medication but what is available? amber k: is this what you mean by "i was mean to [my husband]" or is this more problematic - maybe depression? sts107b: how's it going? seems like we have similar cases. Maybe your right, maybe flowers would help? AND MOST OF ALL TO WORRIED DAD -- THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE! ! !

 

sarah513 - January 6

i guess my guy is lucky cuz im more mellow than i was before i got pregnant... my emotions lean more toward sad and paranoid rather than angry and psycho... good luck... only a couple more months to go!

 

Helpless Dad2be - January 16

My wife was a psycho b___h before and has actually mellowed since being pregnant. I`m scared of the original monster returning. I'll probably eventually have to leave her because of future issues with our child.

 

bcam - January 20

Hello! I am 26 qnd my wife is 32. We are found out two days ago we are accidentally pregnant with our 2nd child. Our first pregnancy was a absolute nightmare. I am not kidding! Don't get me wrong , we had some good times and trips but overall she was Satan re-encarnted. We are both fairly succesfull business people and are both educated. We have had trouble with our marriage ever since the first baby but we both agree our son (now 2 years of age) is the greatest thing on the planet. To top it off we have just got the ball rolling to move for a because promotion I have recieved. I'm scared for the first time in my life. The same traits as last time are starting to show and I know she resents me for the move, the pregnancy and everything else. But you do not understand, this is BAD. She admots not to being a good caregiver and says, "She is tired of sacrificing for the family" when in fact she has pretty much got it made. During our first pregnancy I totally turned off my emotions in order to co-exsist with her at home. It took me almost two years to feel love the same way again for her as I did before. I fear that if this pregancy is a repeat of the last I ight not ever be able to love her the same way again. I love my son more than anything in the world and I am sure that I will love this child the same. I just feel so overwhelmed. BC

 

mystified! - January 24

I have just read through pages of hypocritical whining, whinging, and moaning!! Honestly, I have never seen my wife happier in her life, not even in pictures of when she was as a child. When her test came back positive, it was like glows of light were emanating within her, as bright as a thousand birthday candles beaming outward. She had a smile on her face that could not have been given to her from the most expensive diamond on the planet. Sure, there might be a bit of moaning, or whining on the surface, but its all superficial… At least I believe.. That is, deep down within, she is happier than she has even been.

 

New Daddy - January 24

Hey mystified! Just consider yourself one of the few and fortunate ones. If we're whining and complaining as you say, then it must be for legitimate reasons. I lost my pregnant fiance (now ex) due to her extreme mood swings and obscenely irriational behavior....and there was nothing I could do about it. Go self-gloat in another post.

 

Mandi_Lin - January 26

Wow this is almost scary my husbands name is David and I am 7 months pregnant, my husband is always telling me how mean I am...I admit these hormones are difficult to handle sometimes I just feel like I could kill someone for the littlest things too. Your best bet is just give her her space let her know you love her and try to do things special for her buy her flowers just becuase or fix her dinner for no reason. Pregnancy is hard on both the mother and father to be. Hang in there it will all be worth it in the end.

 

jason - January 27

I just put in a google search "dealing with pregnant wife" and here I am. I am at my wits end and to some relief I see I am not a lone soldier in this nonstop battle with "the monster". My wife is three months pregnant and with our first child. I never thought it would be so difficult to deal with her. She too wants to end the marriage and just last night told me she wished we'd never gotten married to me, just the things that spout from her mouth make my jaw drop...not that I am the easiest to get along with either but I can't win for losing. I will make a concious effort to be nice and get my head ripped off for something the the next minute. She will hold whatever thought that p__sed her off for the remainder of the night. I am a perminant resident at motel couch and have been sinse we got pregnant. It's really strange how she went from a loving s_x crazed woman to someone who will demolish you for the most petty of subject matter. My wife as well as myself have very dominant personalities and right now we mix like water and oil. I can't learn to keep my mouth shut when she upsets me which is my one main flaw in this saga. I am slowly learning that it will never be a winning situation with her but feel like I'm still failing at being sweet to her. It's a battle just trying to please her and make her comfortable.

 

EricaG - January 27

Jason... has your wife had morning sickness? morning sickness took 7 weeks out of my life and turned me into a puking, emaciated, sweating, cursing, depressed miserable beyond any man could ever imagine, witch. It took so much out of me on a daily basis that towards the end I couldn't even gather the strength to be a witch. I would lay for hours and just cry. 7 weeks Jason... I lost 15 lbs off of an already slim figure and I developed GERD which meant that when I wasn't puking, my esophogus was opening up and letting all kinds of things run into my throat and mouth. At some points I wondered "Is this what someone who's dieng feels like?" Along with about a million other things such as severe back aches, migraine headaches, dhiarrea, and extreme fatigue. On Christmas Day I threw up 6 times. I'm finally on some medicine for my morning sickness, but during the 7 weeks where I was out of commission, my husband did everything for me. It showed me just how sweet and nice of a man he is and I am so thankful for him. I don't know if your wife's been sick, but if she has been it might give you some insight into why she's been unbarable to live with. If my husband had been anytihng but the sweetest guy alive for those 7 weeks, I would have told him I wanted a divorce and get out of my house. I hope this helps some, but if she's not sick, then it could just be those raging hormones. My advice for you is to store your dominant att_tude in a box in the closet. Try to remember that she's growing another human being inside of her. It is sucking all of her energy out of her and she's tired and impatient and grouchy and b___hy. She's bound to resent you becaues you have it good. You're not peeing every 20 minutes or having hot flashes, or gaining weight, or looking forward to hemmrhoids and stretch marks and just generally being a suitcase that hauls around a baby. I hope you understand now to some extent what your wife could be going through. Just try to be nice and easy going for the next few months. Like today I snapped at my husband because he always pushes his food around on his plate for 10 minutes before he takes a bite. Well this time it just pised me off and I yelled at him. He just looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said "sorry honey..." I felt so bad immediately, but had he been a jerk to me I would have gotten all up in his face and it would have turned into a fight. Just learn to be easy going for the time being and see how it works. Anytihng is worth a try...

 

coda - February 2

awww i feel sorry for u blokes bu it really is not easy being sick sore back b___bs i am not as bad as some of ur wives i just tend to cry for no reason:s its embaressing my partner is soo suportive and says its alright and he understands i think u do really just gotta put up with us .

 

Rhona Howatson - February 9

get pregnant the best thing u can do!!

 

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