Pregnant Wife Is Mean Help

103 Replies
Rhona Howatson - February 9

get pregnant the best thing u can do!!

 

lucienne78 - February 19

I found that the proper mindset to have until my wife gives birth and is eventually happy with the way she looks again would be - its your fault. Anything that angers or saddens her is my fault, you just deal with it. Trying to argue or put up anytype of fight is useless, we are not dealing with rational people here. My wife wakes up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, no questions - i ma__sage it. She wakes me at 4am because the baby is lying down in a strange position and she wants me to feel her belly, I feel her belly. In these demented women's mind's there is a simple equation that unfortunately gets influenced by hormones every now and then, "I am like this because of him." Gentleman, can we deny this? No, so suck up and deal with, I'm 30 now, so I figure I'll be able to play golf again in ten yrs, but that's life and i honestly can't wait until my daughter is here.

 

concerned husband - March 9

I can relate to a lot of what is being said and I try to be as compa__sionate as I can. Unfortunately, compa__sion doesn't always work and sometimes makes things worse. My biggest concern is the depression and the times she gets so mad she does something stupid like mix a drink and knock it back, leave with a bottle of pills, or lift extremely heavy materials for spite. I am to a point where I can't trust her to take care of herself and the baby. I am seeking counseling and plan to approach our OB. While there is definitely hormonal issues with pregnancy, it's not suppose to be so bad that it destroys relationships. There is professional help available.

 

losing it - March 15

I don't know where to begin. My g/f is almost nine weeks pregnant, and she seems to simply not like me anymore. There are no more "I love you's", no more kisses, no more affection period. I don't understand it, and to be honest, it breaks my heart. She doesn't seem to want me around at all, and I have done all that I can to make her realize that I really do love her, and want nothing but her and her happiness. It's really hard to be around, and I feel as if the best thing I can do is just leave her alone. I simply can't deal with it anymore. She wants to blame everything on the hormonses, yet I think the problem lies within the heart. Now I feel as if she really doesn't, nor has ever, really loved me. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life!!!

 

jg - March 16

To "losing it". Were there problems before in your relationship? If so then hormones may just be making the situation worse, but if you haven't had problems before and she has only just started acting up, you really need to try and not let it get to you. Hormones do crazy crazy things to you and it is hard to control your emotions sometimes. She may be scared and worried about being pregnant and all that pregnancy involves, and could be taking it out on you as anger. They say you hurt the ones you love the most, so maybe that is true in your case.

 

losing it - March 16

I keep hearing there's light at the end of this tunnel, but is one supposed to simply overlook all that's been said. This is supposed to be a time of enjoyment, and planning, and love. Sure, hormones may cause a mood swing here and again, but the love should still be there. I'm not sad that I'm having a baby - not one bit! But I am sad that it had to be with a women who doesn't love me. It's a bad feeling, but I guess there are much worse things than being a single dad. Life will go on - I guess.

 

EricaG - March 16

Losing it... No one can really help you on here if you don't tell us more. All you are telling us is your feelings and that's not enough. We have no idea what is going on with her. Does she have morning sickness, does she have fatigue, since she is still early in the pregnancy she may be scared of miscarrying, does she work a lot and is exhausted, do you ask her how she's feeling, are you busy and gone a lot, is she worried about money? There are so many reasons that she could be feeling downright depressed and add hormones to the mix and it can be a MESS. I sat there roaring with laughter when you said that this is supposed to be a time of enjoyment and planning and love. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, but just to give you a look at reality. Every time I look at my Pregnancy magazine and it says "Pregnancy... The time of you life!" I want to rip it into shreds. Now don't get me wrong, my husband and I wanted and tried for this baby for a while, but pregnancy is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm 19 weeks and 2 days which means in 5 days I will be halfway through the pregnancy. I HATE being pregnant. The only joy I get is when I feel the baby moving inside of me. I am still sick all day, everyday (lost 15 lbs) I get migraines and constant acid reflux and horrible indigestion, my hip/back gives out on me a lot when I'm just trying to walk, I have constipation and sore b___bs. Along with that I feel like the people I love are falling apart around me, my mom has to have test done in 1 week to see if she has cervical cancer and lung cancer and my Step dad was admitted to the hospitalon Monday because of what they believe may be Colon cancer. I try so hard to be strong but I'm a wreck. I even resented the baby inside of me and could not get excited about the pregnancy until I felt it kick two and a half weeks ago. My husband has had to overlook a lot of things that I have said out of pain and frustrations and exhaustion. There were times when he felt like I didn't love him. I did, with all of my heart, but I was too exhausted to so anything but snap at him to bring me my puke bucket. I don't know if she is sick or stressed or anything, but my point it you can not play pregnancy up to be this wonderful time in your mind. I know I did and I'm paying for it. Sure the baby is the best thing ever, but it is the hardest and most trying time in my life and probably my husbands, him kissing me makes me physically sick and him putting his arm around me makes me feel uncomfortable and crowded. It's so hard on everyone. Ask her if she loves you and if she says yes then you know your answer. She just may not be able to show it right now. I wish you the best, just try to remember that this is a hard time for her too, even if she isn't sick, she may be very stressed out. Good luck :o)

 

bambina - March 17

Ok, there is a great Queen size bed in my bedroom where my husband sleeps every night. Where do I sleep??? 4 months pregnant and on the sofa. Why? Because I have lost my mind and everything he does and says (even in his sleep) bothers me to the point of wanting to pull my hair out. I also get this way when someone wants to have a convo on the phone or being in stores. I must admit since pregnancy, I am very hard to live with. and then out of no where a calm hits and I am crying because he doesn't spend all his time with me.. what? two minutes ago I was regreting the marriage because he left a napkin on the counter. When will it end???????

 

chris - March 22

yeah there nuts

 

alchymi - March 29

I feel so sorry for my fiancee and all of those men out there struggling with us pregnant ladies, seriously. I'm in the "fiery anger, blatant regret" stage, and it could not be worse. My husband has become a monster to me, (i imagine it's vice versa for him) he took up smoking again and it's been driving me nuts. To support his habit and myself, he's been buying the worst possible food. My doctor put me on bed rest and told me "no salt", and I try so hard to stress this and other healthy habits with my s.o. but I think he doesn't listen and he doesn't care. Our s_x life disappeared a long time ago and I am now actually repulsed by the thought of being intimate with him. I constantly berate him in and out of public, and I get disgusted when he starts crying. I've been with him for five years and I've never been like this. I've never woken up and thought to myself, "dear god i'm with the ugliest, dumbest man alive for the rest of my life, and to think what I could have had if I wasn't so desperate". It's like what Chris Rock said about why your woman hates you, they hate you because you're not their first choice. It's shameful and unusual behavior for me, and I hope that it dissipates soon.

 

jenbabe - July 27

wow.. you poor men really sound like you have it rough.. LOL.. I am 19 and 6 weeks pregnant and I'm already so angry I'm scaring myself.. But just a message to the men who think they have it bad.. Seriously, all you have to put up with is a little crazyness that will go away.. youre body stays normal, and you feel fine.. We have something the size of a watermelon growing, making us sick and feel hideous... I wish men could understand what we go thru.. Pregnancy is not fun.. So really.. all you men have it easier than u think. . I would much rather have to take a little madness than feel like an ugly fat cow... just my opinion though!

 

skoski - February 4

my girlfriend was sweet as pie loved my company loved making love spending time with me we were so perfect together weve been together for 8 months and shes 10 weeks pregnant its so stressful shes cranky and insecure sometimes i dont no how to deal with it anyone got any advice? since shes become pregnent we argue its not us im scared.

 

javamcjugg - January 27

Yes. Yes I am. I am dealing with one right now. Oh dear god. Lately I've just been leaving the room because I'm a little bit on the edge myself lately. And of course the LAST THING you want to do is suggest her mood is anything less than justified, or suggest she's angry because of hormones. That way madness lies. This is our second child and the first time she cried more, toward the end. This time I'm just trying to make myself scarce.

 

Jim92 - April 29

Same experience as the other gentlemen posting here. My wife's 17 weeks right now and is understandably anxious about her first pregnancy. We exchange sharp words from time to time but usually get on together very well. Last night, she was fine, as she has been for months barring the expected worries, but was particularly upset by a show she watched on TV in which one of the characters lost a baby after a disagreement with the boyfriend. Shortly after that finished, there was a mild squabble about what to watch next, and next thing I know she's telling me the stress of "constantly" arguing will make her lose our own baby, and threw me out - telling me she doesn't want to see me again until the baby's born. I thought it best to giver her some space and went to stay with my folks. What next I wonder.

 

cjmah - April 29

My wife and I have just separated. I moved into my parents house and she stayed in our 2 bedroom house. She is 6 months pregnant and has been sleeping in a different bed since last November. She explained that she sleeps there because that is the only way she can get a good sleep. We have not had s_xual relations very much at all throughout the pregnancy (3times in 6 months). Even than it felt like a chore. I love my wife very much but I feel like I'm living with a roommate. The major problem has been my trust in her. A few months into our relationship she stepped out and had an affair with someone else. Needless to say I forgave her but I didn't forget. This has led me to have serious trust issues, which has in turn led to our separation. I have questioned her twice since we have been pregnant once when she was down the street for a long time that i was skeptical about and another was at easter when her friend came over and there was a shirt that my wife wore home from a sleep over at her friends house before we were pregnant. When I gave the shirt back to her friend she said she had never seen the shirt before. This sent me into a tail spin that made me question if the baby was even mine. My trust issues have held me back from believing her when she says the baby is mine. This whole mess came to a head when two weeks ago I asked if I had another instance of doubt in something and I came to her, could she be understanding with me instead of getting super defensive and angry. She said she couldn't live like this and basically over the next two weeks through fighting has lead me to now be living with my folks. The main instance that caused me to move out was that we were supposed to move into a larger place to accommodate for the baby. When we went over there the second time she was saying that the rooms were smaller than she remembered ect. I basically said to her I didn't know if I wanted to move in if there was so many things she didn't like. This lead to another fight which she gave me an altimatum that stated the only way that she was going to move in was if she had her own room. After hearing this I was very sceptical that she still loved me and was only using me to provide for the birth through my insurence and provide for her because she is no longer working. I said I didn't agree with her terms and told her the only way I was moving into the new place was into one bed with a wife not a roommate. After she said no I moved out and made the room I was sleeping in to the babies room. I haven't heard anything from her and I believe that she is done. We are still married however and I still love her deeply. I need advice and help. i know if I contact her she is not going to answer so I haven't called. What do I do?

 

albatross - June 16

In response to the original question, albeit three years ago (!!!!), (hm, I wonder how they made out?). heck yes! I did the old google search for 'wife prgant crazy' and arrived here. I read and they said in cla__ses that your wife might be crazy when pg, but DANG! Baby is 36w0d tomorrow, and for I don't know how long, my wife will be supremely crabby one minute and then 15 minutes later totally opposite, and of course it is always my fault when she's mad about something. If I am not in motion, she will give/"order" me something to do, and it always has to be NOW. I gave up on logic or reason, there is none. ONly thing to do is agree and do everything she wants. I swear, I dread coming home at night. It's like living with a psycho who switches moods all the time between angry and calm/happy. I want to start to spend more time in the yard or exercising or at work just to stay away.

 

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