Question For Soon To Be Daddy S

4 Replies
Lauren - February 18

Hey just wanting a male input on this. I'm 19 and 10 weeks pregnant with my first baby. The dad and I were together for 2 1/2 years but he left me a few weeks ago as soon as the pregnancy was confirmed. He wants nothing to do with either of us anymore. At first he kept pushing for an abortion. Now he says he isn't bothered what I do, it's my life I'll wreck, not his, because he won't be involved. I don't know what to do. Do you think he may come around to the idea, even if it isn't til after the birth? Have any other guys/girls been in this situation, if so, what happened?


Jessi - February 20

Sweetie I wish you the best with this. I actually went through something similar. I'm about 10 weeks as well and my husband said that we needed to seperate. It only lasted a few weeks though, thankfully everything is going good so far. From what I've been told and seen in my husband, guys may say they want a baby and may actually be happy about it, but deep down it scares them because it's not just them that they have to worry about. It's a big change for them. I know that it's a change for us as well, but for some reason women are more willing to sacrifice things for children than some guys are. I'm sure that he'll come around though. Have you heard the babies heartbeat yet? If not, you could always let him know when your next appointment is and tell him that you could hear the baby then. That gets them thinking. A friend said that as soon as her boyfriend heard the heartbeat, everything changed. Good luck hun and don't worry, if he doesn't come around you're strong enough and honestly you're probably better off. Let me know how things go.


To Lauren - February 22

You ask, "Do you think that he will come around after the child is born?" Well that is a very difficult question to answer with out knowing more about this boyfriend of yours. I am currently 29, married for 5 yrs, been together with my wife for 10 years, and our first baby is due in July. I tell you this because when we first started dating when I was 19, your age now, I had the maturity level of a 3 yr old. I had just broken free form the restraints of parental supervision and was running wild and free in college. This was a very selfish stage in my life and my girlfriend's feelings were hardly a blip on the radar. Luckily she saw the good in me and stuck it out and we now have a very happy marriage. Anyways, I was immature at 19 because I had everything provided for me growing up and never really had to due without. Someone who grows up not having to feel the burden of responsibility (For example, not having to work in high school to earn money to help your single mom raise a family like one of my friends did) can sometimes act like a jack a__s kid that has no clue about life's responsibilities when they first leave home.(like it did to me and all of my college buddies) If your boyfriend was in the same situation as me and is just going through a selfish stage in his life right now, I would say that there is a chance that he will want to be involved in the babies life at some point down the road.(If you still let him) However, there are a lot of guys out there that never grow up. All that I can really say is that I hope things work out for the best and that you have a happy healthy baby.


Monica - February 23

Have your baby and don't worry about the father, because god won't bless him if he turn his back on you too.


Erin - March 4

I was 17 when i had my first. His dad and i were together for almost 2 years. He is now married and has no constant contact with his son or the other 2 he fathered since our 3 1/2 year old. Dont count on him to 'come around'!!! I am 21 and expecting my 3rd ( this ones dad is still here) but up untill i got preg with this one i was a single mom and i did fine.Dont worry about him.



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