Should He Know Im Pregnant Or Not

25 Replies
confused - December 18

Im 20 and have been seeing an older man of 38 for a while now. He has a child by an ex wife and had made remarks about never geting married again and one kid was enough. I know he would be there for the baby but I also know that he doesnt want anymore. Seeing as he dose not want anymore children I dont know if I want to burden him with this. Im going to go home to my family 3,000 miles away to raise this child. Should I just go home and not tell him im pregnant or should I tell him before I go home? And if I tell him and he wants to help raise the baby should I stay?

 

Anon - December 18

I was in almost the exact same situation. I moved 2,000 miles to be with an older man, he is 30 I am 20. He too didnt want anyone more children and one was enough for him. When I told him i was pregnant, I also told him I wanted to move back with my family because it wasnt fair for me to keep a child that I know he didnt want to raise. To my shock....he said no way. He wanted me to say so he could raise this child with me. He said that it was half his too. Of course before it all came down to that, there was some crying, and discussing different ways to deal with it...But i am 29 weeks now, He is absolutley wonderful, and he is excited that our son will be coming soon =) I suggest give him a chance at least. Tell him you are pregnant, and see what he has to say. Might be a little rough to begin with, But if all goes well....you two will be just fine =) Good Luck and keep me updated =)

 

Mellissa - December 24

Burden him? Whether you think that he'll want to be involved or not, it's not right to keep it from him (unless he posses a danger to the child) An abortion is a women's right to choose but by bringing this child into the world, the father has a right to know. And maybe your child should know that it has a half-sibling out there somewhere with the potential of more one day. Either way, tell him and let him decide. Let him know you don't expect anything from him and if he does want to be involved, it can't be half-a__sed. Either he's in this child's life or he's not. Which ever way he chooses, you can rest easy knowing you made the right decision by telling him and your baby will know that one day. Know also that HE IS obligated to financial support which you have a right to ask for (especially with him at 38 and you at only 20!) Also know that the reason he may have made that statement about never wanting to marry or have any more kids is because he was scarred/hurt by his divorce or, because he was letting you know that he had no intentions of marrying you so you didn't get any ideas in your head. This is irrelevant, he'll feel much less threatened if you tell him you don't need him in the child's life but you wanted to do the right thing and give him the opportunity.

 

Monique K - January 9

Am sure it takes two to tangle.If he said he didn't want more kids, then he would have taken the responsibility of contraception.tell him that it was something you both didn't plan and hopefully he will understand.Good luck

 

helen - January 12

Congrats on the pregnancy! you should tell him. he helped make that baby you know. he has to help feed and dress the child. i was in the same boat. i was 18 and the man 35. i told him about the baby and he didnt want anything to do with us but after the baby was born he loved our son more than anything in the world. your child desirves to be happy and he or she needs a father. good luck

 

Bryan - January 12

Of course you should tell him. It is his child too!

 

mami - February 16

well, i am 17 and my boyfriend is 23, i'm pregnant, and haven't talked to him in so long. So i'm just going to have my baby and stay closer with god. My boyfriend is just going to have to find his way to me and his baby, when your pregnant it is not good to stress or be depressed all the time, just stay strong and too bad if he don't want to stay strong with you, you just going to have to do what you got to do before your baby due... Holla!

 

Emily - March 7

You should never keep something like a baby a secret. What he said is just words. Once someone finds out their going to have a baby their whole world changes. He can either except that change or be a coward. Either way your still having the baby it sounds like so you might as well tell him.Good luck

 

Misty - March 10

Sounds like majority rules in this one. Tell him, and I think he was full of it when he said he didn't want kids anyway. He isn't stupid, he knows how kids are made(he already has one) so if he was acting in such a way that you got pregnant then I really think he must not have been tooooo worried about it.

 

JLK - March 10

You HAVE to tell him.

 

Jenny - March 26

You should tell him about the baby. And if he wants to help raise it just say you want to go home to your family for a while cause you will need people there for you alot when your going to have a baby.

 

jessy - April 22

I want to try prgnant,but very difitcult to get pregnant.Can you tell me about to easy get pregnant.If this is month my first day period 20 Apr,when day kown I'm ovulate? Can you tell me which day,I'll try to pregnant.After I try which day I know I'm be pregnant? Thank's

 

mary - April 23

He should definetly know. He has a right to know whether he fathered a child or not. As for your child, don't you plan on telling him he has a father?

 

maria - April 25

I think you should tell him youre preagnant and if he decides not to raise your child well you'll do better with your parents

 

Anita - May 5

it's best if you first start out as hun ,i know you said that you didn't want any more children, but i'm having your child. if you don't want to raise it then i'll go home and raise it myself it will be hard , but i'll have no choice if you say no to helping me. but i would rather the baby know it's birth father and live with both. please tell me what you think, what is your decision hun?

 

GINA - May 17

I HAVENT BEEN TAKING THE PILL nd since i stop taking it and i havent had a period yet when will i get pregnant

 

Derek, - May 20

Hmm well i would let the father of the child know that you are pregnant and take it from there. who knows you may be pleasantly suprised. what have you got to loose? nothing if doesnt want to raise this child you can still move back home. just tell him and find out what happens, if he is a man and he loves you then he should stay and help raise this child.

 

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