Where Do You Men Get This Quot WE Quot Stuff From

31 Replies
Gem - September 14

First of all, I hate how my husband has been treating me during this pregnancy. He does no cute stuff for me at all, so I'm jealous of everyone who gets that. Anyway, I was just wondering where men get off with this "we are pregnant" thing? They do not have to endure the aches and pains of a pregnant woman, especially one like me in the final two months. They don't have to roll their belly out of bed and out of sitting positions, go through ridiculous Dr. appts where you are poked and prodded upon like an alien abduction victim. They don't have to struggle through the days work and then chores with no helping hand when it's so needed. But "we're expecting", "we're pregnant" and here's my favorite...."When we have the baby" HAHAHA!!! when WE have the baby!! I wish we really could have the baby, I'd make him do all the labor and delivery in repayment of all the suffering and lack of sensitivity he's put me through. Men suck. Please help your ladies out. It's too late for me, but if you're a dude out there with a pregnant lady, please help her out.

 

Jamie - September 14

LOL, I totally agree...not only that, but our darling little angel is 5 weeks old...when people ask how being a parent is going, my husband says that HE's tired! WTF???? HE's NOT the one who gets up to feed her in the middle of the night!!! I get to stay home and deal with a crying baby all day long, then he comes home and says "what's for dinner"?!?!?! Uh, b___st milk is what's for dinner, cause that's the only thing I'm making.

 

Get off it - September 14

Come on!! Quit feeling sorry for yourself. It takes TWO to make a baby so yes, the man is included in the WE - it is HIS baby as HE is going through feelings of worry of his own and he is putting up with YOU. I know you are hormonal, I am too - I am PROUD of my DH when he says WE are expecting - WE are having a boy/girl - quit being so d__n selfish! It's NOT all about YOU - YOU should be happy he is a PART of this pregnancy and is including himself in it the best way he knows how! You could be one of those other posts where the man tells the pregnany woman to drop dead and leaves. GEEZZ!!!! Be THANKFUL of what you have!

 

Having My Baby - September 15

borber line p___s envy ?<<<JUST KIDDING) I was one of those men who never said 'we are having a baby' , but I suppose the whole miracle , fascination and wonder of having a child would make men say that and I would imagine alot of men try to endure the brunt of all the suffering so would probably say "we" to be considerate .

 

... - September 15

Im sure they dont mean to look like THEY are experiencing the things the woman are, But they are experiencing their own emotions etc. And at least they are interested in the pregnancy not like "yeh mah missuz is havn a kid" hes acknowledging its his also. I think its sweet and innocent. hes not meaning to be insensitive,

 

Gem - September 15

Hi, Get off it. Man, I was not trying to make anyone mad. I am really just bummed the hell out myself. I really wish you understood, but I don't expect you to. I have hypertension, and I have been so blessed to have a perfectly normal pregnancy thus far, and I owe that to God, yet, my husband takes all this sacrifice I am giving for granted. Somedays, I am tired and I do not feel like cleaning or doing dishes, and most men would do it automatically for their pregnant wife to rest, but I have to ask this genius to do it if I feel sore or achy or it wont get done. I think it should be all about me right now, I have a potentially serious health issue, and I am carrying a child!!! I think his hangups should go on the back burner, not mine. I only have a month and some change to go. I am happy that you have one of those good guys, and yes I do feel bad for myself, but I don't hate you either. I am just glad that somewhere out there a lady like you has a good guy that knows how to treat a pregnant lady. God had taken me this far, and He's the only one I have to really talk to. So, in that aspect, I am thankful for what I have. Good luck to you. And Jamie....LOL!! congrats to you too!! I love the last sentence of your post!! HAHA!! I would have put a gla__s of expressed Breastmilk on a plate and served it to him in all seriousness. I really, really would have. straw and all.

 

Try to be nice - September 15

Gem, I can appreciate your stresses. My morning sickness has been aweful. And I hate the "we" thing too. On the other hand, I love that my husband wants to be included in the baby. And if you really think about it, us pregnant women are not always the nicest to be around. I have been so tired I can't hold up my end of the household chores, I puke at least once a day, and let's not forget mood swings and general feeling yeuck, it doe not do a s_x life good!! Hopefully your guy does a few nice things for you. Just show your appreciation. Maybe even tell him that you know you have not been the easiest to live with, and you want him to know how much you love him. He might be more willing do do you a favour like give you a back rub if you ask nicely after explaining that you appreciate him putting up with your c___p.

 

Get off it - September 17

Gem - look, I am not mad. I have chronic hypertension and I am only at 14 weeks - I have a long way to go... I never said my DH was perfect. If I don't do the laundry it piles up. If I don't cook dinner, he eats out. Call me old fashioned, but our mothers did it without complaining - our grandmothers did it without complaining. So yes, get off it - I think todays women are made of mush. They think that because they are pregnant they ought to be catered to. That's a lot of c___p. Pregnancy is a WE thing between a man and a woman. It does not matter who carries most of the weight. It is a partnership. Don't like it? Tough - you are a woman and that is what women do. I know you are hormonal and am going through a lot - so am I. This is my 6th pregnancy with one live birth. I don't expect my dh to fall all over me because I am pregnant. We have our duties split since the beginning of marrage and I carry my weight. If I am tired, I do it later or I ASK for help. I don't sit there and expect to be catered to because I am pregnant. Our grandmothers who worked in the field during their pregnancy, stopped for labor, plopped out our parents and continued on. Please, why does this day and age have to be so friggin mushy??? Jamie - Call me hormonal, call me whatever you wish - if your job is to cook for the family, then do it. I have dealt with a crying baby who I could not put down and still got dinner ready for my husband. It's my job as a wife. Being a mother to a fussy infant does not excuse me of that. Sorry, guess I am old fashioned but I don't think women today have backbone...

 

Have to agree - September 18

With Get off it... I don't usually post - I am more of a reader on these forums and I have seen a ton of women on here who like to complain about their dh's and dh's who are so confused. I have read about a ton of women who's dh's left and left them without anyone. I agree with get off it in that women need to be more appreciative and thankful. I know I am after reading what others are going through. Just my 2 cents...

 

M - September 19

You know I disagree with this. I too am preggers. I am 24 weeks and this is OUR second pregnancy. My husband goes through almost as much as I do. Whether it listen to me b___h about how I am already uncomfortable, the baby waking me up at all hours of the night and accidently waking my dh so he sleeps on the couch so I can get comfy, the hunny I am not doing anything for dinner tonight so my dh makes a full dinner for all of us. So yes WE are pregnant!!! He goes through hell just like I am. With our first child I was a stay at home mom. When he got home everynight there was dinner waiting for him. He cooked on weekends. I did not make him get out of bed and help with the middle of the night feedings as he got up at 4 am and did not get home until 6 pm sometimes even later. He always did on the weekends. Anyway I could go on and on about this subject. Basically all I have to say is that I am happy that WE are pregnant. I am happy that my dh is supportive. Just think of all the hell we get to put our dh's through through the 9 months and in the labor and delivery room and they dont even complain. If anything they feel bad for us having to go through what we have to go through. So maybe talk to your dh and find out why he is not what I would call a "normal" dh or supportive system.

 

Ashley - September 20

Wow, I actually try to include my dh in this! I talk about "our baby" and try to help him feel like he's a part of this, too. I know this is rough on him - he feels so helpless he actually comes into the bathroom and holds me while I puke in the sink. He told someone "we're pregnant" and I didn't even think about the "we" - then again, we're having this baby at home and are taking cla__ses and he is going to be my coach. I guess we have a weird relationship . . . we talk too much to each other and don't watch enough tv, I guess...... it's not his fault I'm sick, or acky. It's so funny, I told him the other day, kind of serious, "This is half your fault, you know" and his dad heard me and said, "I never heard that, your mom always said, this is all your fault." Which I don't understand. His sperm, my egg. It's not like he puts both in me. I want kids. Being uncomfortable 9 months is kind of what I signed up for. Ok, maybe I'm on the other side of being sick for 10 weeks but come on . . . .

 

Come on ladies! - September 21

Most of the responses I've seen on here seem to be telling Gem how wonderful and helpful their husbands are. Um, how does that relate to her situation? I'm happy you all have sympathetic helpful hubbies, I have one myself, but her whole point was that hers does absolutely nothing and then implies to other people that they are equal partners in the whole pregnancy thing, rather than her almost going it alone. In other words, he is taking credit for being a helpful sympathetic hubby when he isn't. And as for being more appreciative and thankful after seeing what other people are going through? My friends' husband is a right a**hole, it is like she has 4 children, not 3. He has never been supportive of her, verbally and emotionally abusing her, threatening her with physical abuse, and I will never forget the night I was staying with them and he made her sleep on a 2seater couch when she was 6 months pregnant after they had a huge fight. After their babies were born he did hardly anything to help, even though he wasn't working and they were on welfare, and he had pressured her into having them in the first place. But she should be grateful because at least she has someone, right? I don't think that Gems' hubby is that bad, but it is easy for other people to say stop being selfish when you either have a supportive man or are simply happy to do everything for the household. For all we know, Gem and hubby may have had an agreement before pregnancy to share household duties, and now he's shirked on it. I feel for you Gem, because although my hubby is wonderful, I completely understand that that is not the case for everyone.

 

Get off it - September 21

Whatever... If you read my post you will know that my dh is about as supportive as a rock. Of course no one is saying the women who is abused should be thankful the guy is there - she ought to get the hell out of that situation and why she is still in it is something her and her friends should be focused on. All I am saying is that instead of complaining of what he isn't doing - take a look at what he is doing - taking PART (not credit as you say) in the baby's creation as best as he may know how. He was obviously there at conception so has the right to make it a WE thing no matter how much she does or he dosn't. It's a WE thing weather he is a great guy or the worst slug on Earth. And if you read the original post - the complaint was about doing "cute" stuff and not giving a helping hand without ASKING. That implies the guy helps, but she has to ask... I say so what? Most men don't have it all upstairs to think of doing before asking and need to be asked. My dh wouldn't remember my birthday if I didn't remind him. He's like that - he's always been like that and because I am pregnant I don't expect him to change. A lot of women get the idea that because they are pregnant the world is supposed to stop and revolve around them like they are the only pregnant women in the world. That's stupid. I am sorry your friend is still in a relationship she needs to get out of - have you tried to get her away from that slug or is she too dependant and is blinded by love? Does she want to leave? Can you help her leave? Again, I am not saying that women in bad situations like your friends sit in my version of things... Gem on the other hand and Jamie too - do.

 

d__ned if u do, and if u dont - September 21

This is bullc___p, to Gem give me a break, you didnt make this baby yourself, how would you like your husband not to be there? Another cla__sic example of a pregnant woman that doesnt care about her man, Im putting in over 60 hours a week at my job and my wife could careless about it, or how hard im trying to help her, sometimes she needs the whole bed so she can feel comfy, so when i get home from work i sleep on our rocky couch that is the equivelant of sleeping on pavement, and i wake up and go to work for another 12 or 14 hours, why dont women care? would someone tell me that please? Your d__ned if you do and d__ned if you dont when your wife is pregnant, because men are sc_m no matter what and they arent included in the pregnancy just because they arent carrying the baby, so to hell with them, they can just die and kill themselves, right ladies?

 

Aisha - September 21

umm well i just had my baby alone but i had three when i was married and i may as well have been alone because my ex huby did nothing to help. in fact three days after delivering my 10lb 6oz son..he invited three of his friends over and asked me to cook breakfast...umm am i am amazon woman because i did it? I tell you this women of today are weak as a rule..i agree. We run for pain relief in labor and its kinda sad. I had my 9lb 3oz with no pain meds with No dh there rubbing my back but to be honest had my babys father been there i would have beat him upseide his head because im not feeling a man when im in labor...i dunno..pregnancy is only 9 months..i think we deserve to be catered too just a litle when we are baking the next generation and if the man wants to be part of the we then theres nothing wrong with that but for me its corny. Its some pc c___p which came in the past 30 years....Theres no we in Me. :D

 

okay... - October 6

Well, I am helping my wife out during her pregnancy, but with your att_tude there would be no way I would put up with it and don't blame your husband for not doing any cute stuff for you...

 

Gem - October 7

You must be a little boy to make such an ASSumption without knowing me. I'm sure your contribution to your wife's pregnancy is enviable to all.

 

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