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Stacy - July 9th, 2005 12:35 AM

I think my husband is cheating. Not going to go into details, just trust me. What my ? is why is it when we get pregnant guys can't see what we are going through and understand our bodies have to change to make their babies and they run off and find something else to stick it in?? I am so angry, upset, frustrated and sad. I just want some feedback from other men why they do that this is suppose to be such a happy time?

Hi Stacy - July 9th, 2005 8:53 AM

I feel so bad for you. I am a woman, but I believe that your man is just a weak man and you should not blame yourself (if you do) for his infedelity. How long have you been married and is this marriage worth saving? Remember that you could be sad by yourself and not be with someone who will not love and respect you.

stacy - July 9th, 2005 1:09 PM

I've been with him for 6yrs prior to marriage and 3 married yrs. We already have one son together and now a daughter on the way.
Being a child caught in a divorce then having stepparents and stepsisters and brothers and all the pain that came out of that I really don't want to subject my child to that. I would rather stay in a loveless marriage and let my children have a stable home rather than them have their family ripped apart. My husband and I always said we would stay together no matter what until the kids turned 18. I'm not really worried about him leaving, I just think he's having something on the side now that I am preg. I feel upset but the most important thing is my kids. I won't have their lives destoyed if he acts like a jerk.

Jessica F. - July 13th, 2005 11:28 AM

I am very sorry for your husband's infidelities. However you say you are thinking about the child's best interest. I don't believe it is in the child's best interest to live in a tense environment (which if he is truly cheating it'll be a tense environment) children are wonderful and can pick up on all kinds of emotions. You baby boy knows there is something going on just because of your unconscience mood change. You can't hide that. It isn't good for a kid to be in that kind of environment. Don't stay in a horrible relationship cause there might be a chance of stepparents and bros, and sisters coming along. I am a step mom of two kids ages 4 & 6 They are wonderful children who I have come to love. Although they are not mine I do not treat them differently. I am very sorry you had a bad experience with stepparents in your life but that doesnt' mean your children will. You can't base it on your past experiences. I get along with the kids mom very well. She and I have begun to plan a family vacation that includes her family and ours for next summer. ( my baby will be about 8 months then)You say: " I won't have their lives destoyed if he acts like a jerk." I think that is exactly what you are unintentionally doing.

lynnstress - July 19th, 2005 11:52 AM

I don't know why they do it either. My hubby knows he would be dead and then divorced if he ever cheated on me. He always says he would never cheat, because he married into a family full of Marines and police officers! I believe my husband, even though he's been freaking out thinking sex would hurt the baby. I've gained less than 5 lbs. so far, and I told him I hope he doesn't get that Elvis complex - can't have sex with me anymore because I'm a MOM now... Stacy, I disagree with you, and I think your children would know something was wrong, and that it was not a happy home, if you stayed with your husband who is cheating on you. Don't you feel worthy of a happy home life? To me, happiness is not sticking around with someone who cheats on me, or living with someone just "for the sake of the children."

newdad - July 29th, 2005 1:49 PM

I don't get it. My wife gained weight and is now showing and I think she is more sexy now than ever. Yeah as I guy (whose always horney) it sucks if sex slows down, but my wife is going through a lot and It's up to me to be there for her. When or if she is ready for sex I'll be there. Untill then I can "take care of myself" if I need to. Sorry for what you'r going through I hope things get better for you

Sonia - July 30th, 2005 5:41 PM

I'm 15 weeks and haven't even started to show, my boyfriend is really freaked out about hurting me and the baby and I looked up some info on the internet just so he knows I'm not lying when i say it's ok to do it "Hey buddy, doctors say it's all good!" The divorce thing, my mom got divorced because my dad cheated and also he hit her. Fortunately she made the right choice and divorced him and in this point of my life she's MY HERO.
Anyways, I'll check on my boyfriend to see if he's done reading, you gotta strike it while it's hot! :)

eric - July 31st, 2005 2:32 AM

ok i my g/f goes to this site so i went to poke around and saw this thread. imho the reason some men cheat on perg g/f or wife is pharomones. woman naturaly release this chemical when they are ready to concive. after they get pregie, their body no longer produces it because they are not ready to concive... duh) so some men will naturaly be attracted to woman who are ready to concive. not all men are like this however. some men are fathful enough to resist this natural call, whale others just lack the willpower and/or desire.
that's just my 2 cents (any one have change for a quarter?)
blessed be

Okay... to you male posting... - August 1st, 2005 10:06 AM

Other than eric & newdad, those guys whom posted...YOUR SICK! Obviously it is true....ALL MOST MEN THINK OF IS SEX! Grrrr... you guys need to realize that when a women is pregnant she feels really insecure, and more sensitive about her body & looks than ever before. She needs your love and support emotionally, & physically...but not just in the bedroom! You guys obviously knew what you were getting yourselves into by having sex...why is it that you "men" seem to think that you can "stick it" where ever you please, and then not deal with the responsibilities afterwards??? GROW UP! I'm sorry...but that is a touchy subject.... :) Good luck to all you gals, & congrats!

Russ.... - August 1st, 2005 12:31 PM

When my wife was pregnant i thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world! I loved her and would never cheat on her. I'm sorry Stacy, but i'm afraid your hubby would have been unfaithful to you even if you were not pregnant. He just has an excuse for it now. And to stay together for the kids and create a stressful environement devoid of love, is not really helping them. I agree with lynstress and sonia. Hope you do okay either way.

411 - August 2nd, 2005 2:47 PM

That's all good and nice and I can see not going at it 3 times a day but for the love of God... I haven't got it since my wife got preg.... 13 weeks ago. I think that is a little too long. I have picked up the house work and she doesn't work. She hasn't thrown up one time. Sure she is tired and run down but at least once in 3 months she could have helped me the heck out. I agree that we have to be there for our wives but does that mean that no one is there for us... I say this sucks.

Jack - August 3rd, 2005 2:40 PM

Stacy i am very sorry for your husbands infidelity and his lack of caring. But keep in mind that not all guys do this to their women. I have 3 kids and i have been with my wife angela every step of the way. I never even thought of cheating. If he cheated on you when your pregnant, then odds are he would cheat on you anytime. If you love him and you beleieve truely in you heart that he wont do it again, then give him another try, but if you doubt that he will change then get yourself and your innocent baby out of that enviornment it can only start trouble and the baby will see all of it. Not all men are like that stacey please understand that, women have a bad habit of stereotyping men as cheating pigs, and i often take great offence to it, i have never cheated and i would never think of cheating. Some men are pigs, but some arent. Find yourself a good man who wont treat you this way, there are plenty out there. Sometimes the less attractive men are alot better to have. They are much more loyal than "hunks" i was never a good looking guy, i have always been heavy set, my wife and i met when we were 20 and we've been together ever since, shes had A-hole boyfriends in the past who were all "hot hunks" they all cheated on her because she would'nt put out for them. She met me and fell in love with my tenderness, and we both lost our virginities to each other and now we are married. Good luck stacey, find yourself a good man.

Jack - August 6th, 2005 9:22 PM

Eric thats a whole lot of who shot john, women dont realse some chemical that makes men want to bang other women when his wife is pregnant, its men not being able to keep in their pants and help their wives, haha some chemical what a crock

Sherry - August 6th, 2005 10:06 PM

Bill, that comment was totally uncalled for.....first off even if they aren't having sex that gives him absolutely no right to run off with someone else...especially when she's going through all this bullshit to have his baby. It's not fair to her and not fair to their baby. You seriously need to reevaluate your comment and quite frankly you have a bit of growing up to do.

Bill - August 8th, 2005 9:34 AM

Sherry, Men need sex, period. I don't care who they are. They need to know that their wives want and are attracted to them physically. Just because a baby is there won't change that. Sex doesn't take that long. Even if it is a quick 10 min hey I know you’re still alive and I love you... I'm sure you can find 10 for someone you love. Don't try to down play sex. Sex when married isn't just sex it's the damn heartbeat of a relationship.

Missy - August 9th, 2005 5:39 PM

On one hand I do agree with Bill. But intimacy doesn't always involve just sex. There have been times I didn't feel too sexy but my husband Joel coaxed it out of me by telling me how in love with my body he was. I really think women feel as though they are not attractive during pregnancy because a lot of men do not let them know they are still gorgeous. And if more men told their ladies that, believe me they would be getting a lot more than 10 minutes of letting them know they are alive. And to Stacy, with my first born my fiance did cheat on me as well. The female looked a lot like me and he claimed that she was a way of getting the old me back. Well we broke up until Mikael was three months old, then got back together. And you know what? He was still seeing her the whole time. So really get yourself out of that situation or you'll not only hurt you, but the baby as well. I felt like a piece of shit when I gave birth in the hospital and he didn't show up. I cried that I had driven my son's father away. But you know what? When Mikael was 1 1/2 years old I met someone so perfect I am glad that all of that bad stuff happened--because if it didn't I wouldn't have the sweetest man on earth that I have now. He deals with my up and down hormones, flucuating sex drive, and everything--and he rarely complains. He works almost 85 hours a week to take care of me, my son, and the newcomer that is due August 22nd. And when Mikael gets old enough to ask questions, I will answer them honestly. I will tell him any male can sire a child but it takes a real man to be a daddy--and that having Joel as a daddy makes it even more special because Joel chose to be his daddy.

..... - August 10th, 2005 2:16 AM

Im married and am 4 months pregnant.My husband cheated on me before and he probably still is cheating.After work he gos out doesnt come home late and its stressing me because im pregnant and woried its my first child and hes not there for me.I dont even think he cares that im having his child.Its so sad because you think you know a person but ur living with a stranger that is just pretending.Not only that ,he also beats me and can be out of control when his angry.He lies alot even about the most little stupid things and its killing me because i dont understand people like him,i also dont know how am i supposed to leave him right now that am pregnant and i know my parants would worry.Im stuck in this position and really dont know what to do...all i do is try but nothing seems right his just getting worse.I really miss our good times and the person he used to be and i once knew.Its sad how people can change.And its sad how married men are acting like 15 year old little boys.


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