Age Differences

15 Replies
freeflyingangel - March 7

Hi, I am just curious to know what everyones opinons are about age differences in couples and what you think is reasonable difference,etc.I am asking because i have an older bf and i see nothing wrong with it, but when i had connections with my mum she sort of frowned upon it ,but her opinion is the only one i had and i am curious as to what other people think and feel about age difference!>Ty ( oh and please try not to post negative comments to other people, I am definately not trying to start something) :)

 

EricaG - March 7

I think it depends on how old you are. When my husband and I started dating I was 15 and he was 18 and I think that was pushing it. But now that I'm 20 and he's 23 it doesn't seem so bad and when we're 65 and 68, for example, the difference would seem even smaller.

 

freeflyingangel - March 7

In a way i am trying to get at large age differences such as 10 years or 20 years or something like that. I am 17 and my bf is 26, so :/, but to me i didn't thinkage had a lot to do with our relationship.

 

Emily - March 7

I tned to agree with Erica, but also it depends a lot on how ature you are and not your calender age. If you are a mature person, going with someone older shouldn't be a probelm. my fil is 8 years older than my mil (step mil if there is such a thing) but they were not married or even dated unitl she wa sin her thirties....

 

Rabbits07 - March 7

My dh is 11 years older than me...I'm 33 and he will be 44 in May. My mom didn't particularly care for it as I was only 16 when we met. That being said, I have to say that my daughter will soon be 16 and if she came home and told me that she wanted to date someone 27 I would say NOWAY! I know that sounds hypocritical, but that's how it is. I should add that my dh did not express the first interest in me, but it was I who followed him around like a puppy and let him know that I was interested. It took several months before he finally decided to show any interest back so I do think he really cared for me after he got to know me and it wasn't a s_x only thing (which would be my concern now as a parent with an adult man wanting to date a teenage girl). If my daughter were more mature I don't know that it would be as much of a concern. As it is, she still has a lot of childlike qualities in which we don't allow her to date at all, much less an adult. Not that she is an immature baby, but she still has some growing up to do and to show more responsibility to earn the privilege of dating. As far as adult only relationships, I really don't see a problem with any age difference. Whether the man or woman be 1 day or 60 years older I feel if they are in love then let them be! I love my dh very much and really can't fathom being married to someone too much younger than me, but that doesn't mean it's not okay for someone else. I have been mistaken for dh's daughter a few times, but other than that we've never really had anyone comment on our age difference.

 

freeflyingangel - March 7

WOW Rabbits your story has also some similarity to mine. In a way i followed my bf around to but it only took a week before he was talking to me every night at my fence, bc i was sleeping outside. That was when i was 14. After about 4 months of talking to him he left for 9 months i had no idea where he went or anything. Then one day he just appeared he spent the night at my house, (my parents invintation, they knew nothing of our conversations) the next morning he left once again, except this time i wasn't gunna let him go without telling him how i felt, so after some digging i got his mailing addresse and mailed him a letter, (oh for this to make sense i should mention when he stayed at my house the one night he asked me if he should ocme back and i didn't answer), i answered his question with a yes in the letter, and the same day he got the letter he came back. We got together and hung out everyday for almost 5 months, about a month after i turned 15, we decided we would start dating, and since then we have been as close as anything, even after i was kicked out of my house and moved in with him just recently and gave birth to our baby boy a month ago, it seems we are stronger than ever. And s_x wasn't a big part of our relationship untill about a year after dating either. I just feel that a persons age doesn't matter but i agree that both parties need to be mature and responsible enough to know what they are doing. Anyway my story has nothing to do with much of this( i kinda wanted to share it thats all). I love reading what people have to say, so please keep writing!! :) *~Courtney~*

 

CyndiG - March 7

I think that once you get into your mid twenties, age isn't as much an issue as when you're still in your teens. Even in the mid twenties, there's still so much to learn, but I think you are mentally more capable to handle, process, figure out etc, life situations. I think about the difference in my "maturity" level from 17 to 26 and there is a huge gap in between. I know you're probably very mature, but as far as life situations go, 17 is really young. My dh and I are 4 years apart. I was 17 and he was 21 when we met. He put me into situations that really weren't ok for me to be in at that age, or any age for that matter! LOL! So I can only imagine that at 26, his interests would be (and should be) different than what yours are. Which means that you have to be more like a 26 year old, than him being like a 17 year old (cause that would just be weird now wouldn't it?) Does that make any sense? But I agree with Erica in that when your 55 and he's 66 it really won't matter. What do your parents say?

 

freeflyingangel - March 7

I have no idea where mymum is at the moment, no one does. After i moved out her and her bf sold the house and left, but the night i moved out all she said to my bf was" take care of her".so... My Dad isn't 100% for it but he respects my bf for taking care of me and providing for me and being responsible when he got me pregnant. my dad hasn't met my bf yet so there is noimpression of him yet. but my dad is a very easy going person and accepts all situations whether they are good or bad.

 

soon2bemomof3 - March 7

LOL~!!!!! I'm laughing because you are all younger than your men but I am 7 years OLDER, that's right, a younger man!!!! LOL. We met when I was 31 and he was 24, I LOVE my younger man!!!! Not that theres anything wrong iwth an older man either, just think it's funny I'm the only one so far with a younger one on here. Heehee. I'm a naughty girl...lol.

 

freeflyingangel - March 7

soon2bemomof3 --> hehe that is funny, but i am sure your not alone!!!:)

 

Ca__sie06 - March 7

I met my husband when I was 17 and he was 22. I was 18 and he was 23 when we were married, and now we are 20 and 25! It just depends on how mature the people are.

 

melissa g. - March 7

I too am 7 yrs older than my dh! i met him when i was 30 and he was 23, right out of college! I had never before in my life gone out with anyone younger than myself. You know how some people swear they "knew" that someone was The One? I did. He loves to tell me that our ages even out b/c he is so much more mature than me, hee. It's true! It freaked me out in the beginning but now I never even think about it! I felt very Hollywood though -- so many actresses are older than their guys, like Julianne Moore and Ashley Judd and Susan Sarandon.

 

Renea - March 7

freeflyingangel---there is an age difference of 18 years between me and my dh. I am 34, he is 52. I was 25 when got married. At first, my mom was the only one who approved (she was the best!), because she knew he made me happy. My brother and grandpa were not to shy in expressing their opinions of negativity. Mind you though that I had been dating a guy for 7 years at the time and they all liked him (he just wasn't ready for a lifetime commitment and I was). After my mom got sick, and my dh (who was still just a bf at the time) offered for her to come and live with us, then they came around to him and saw what a good guy he was. We have been happily married for almost 9 years now and I wouldn't change a thing. I married an man who may be older, but he was ready for marriage and a family and everything that a marriage entales.

 

Lchan - March 7

My dh and I are 15 yrs apart. We first met when I was 15 and he was 30. He seemed like an old man. We didn't become friends until I was in my mid/late 20s. We started dating a few years after that and married when I was 30 and he was 45. No one has ever expressed negative comments about our age difference...however they might have had we hooked up when I was 15. :)

 

mandee25 - March 8

My dh is 12 years older than me. We started dating when I was 20 and he was 31, almost 32. Everyone was fine with it.

 

freeflyingangel - March 8

Wow, thanks for your stories everyone! I love reading them!!!:)

 

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