Am I A Bad Mom For Doing This

21 Replies
yogi - October 20

oki am a little sad today .we went to my MIL's house yesterday and dd was on my lap in a sitting position. my mil walked in and as soon as she saw us it was like she was looking at a murder taking place she ran to me g to the backyardrabed my dd and told me "oh my god i cant you are hurting her back dont ever sit her down like that "and as she was walking away with her she said something like you dont deserve to be a mom or something like that i was so shocked i just sat there for like 10 minuts and then went to the back yard asked dh to come in so we could leave. i feel so bad i couldnt sleep all night and i feel like i have hurt my dd. could you please tell me the truth. have i really do a horrible thing to sit her down supported sometimes.i just want to know if she is right .if she is not right i am going to have a talk with her or you know what i will talk to her any way.

 

c_baer19 - October 20

How old is your DD? Mine is almost 3 months, and I have been sitting her up since before she even had the best head control. It doesn't hurt them, my DD loves to sit and stand. She doesn't really like to lie down, actually. I wouldn't say your actions were wrong at all. Actually, I'd probably have given my MIL a piece of my mind if she said that!

 

andy - October 20

yogi ... first of all I believe mils are almost always trying to see what we are doing' "wrong" ... our babies were in the wierest posittion while being on our bellies and when I was on the clinic the nurses told me that we should kind of 'sit" the babies to eat ... how old is our dd???

 

JessC531 - October 20

My dd is 2 1/2 months old and she is in a sitting position very frequently. Has been for a long time. She likes to be able to look out at everything, so she's always sitting that way. And she sits in her Bumbo chair, which helps her to sit up without me. That chair wouldn't be so popular if it was bad for babies. You need to tell your MIL that her words were uncalled for. It sounds like SHE doesn't deserve to be a grandmother!

 

JessC531 - October 20

Ok, maybe that's harsh, but what she said must have made you SO angry. It made ME so angry. LOL.

 

Gretta - October 20

She sounds like a real nutter!!!

 

mandee25 - October 20

Your MIL is just picking at you like most MIL's do. lol She is wrong.

 

moescrilla - October 20

wow - I cant believe she said that you dont deserve to be a mother! I would have thrown some words back at her to show her how that felt, but thats just me - and I'm not the best at being mature. Anyway, my son is almost 8 weeks, and since probably about 4 weeks he likes to be sitting up. I used to kind of sit him up with him leaning agains my chest, but now he has good head control, so I can sit him up with me just holding on to him. It doesnt hurt them! If that hurt them, I think being in a pretzel in the womb would have killed them! You do need to have a talk to her and let her know who the mother is. Grandparents tend to forget sometimes. My mom every now and then trys to tell me how to do things - but I've learned to pick my battles with her.

 

Terio - October 20

So she picked up your daughter and walked away with her, saying you don't deserve to be a mother? Yogi, that would have been the last time she ever got the chance to demean me like that. I'm mad right now and I don't even know you. And I'm with the other women - I've held my daughter in front of me in the sitting position ever since she's had head control (probably before). You are absolutely NOT a bad mom for doing this. That stupid witch is lucky she wasn't put in her place yesterday.

 

Allisonc79 - October 20

wow I would watch out for her in the future, especially leaving you lo alone with her. She doesn't sound all together. Its widely known babies are fine sitting up on your lap, my 80 yr old grandmother sits my lo upright in her lap since she was around 6 weeks. So don't give her an excuse for being old fashioned!

 

jacobsmom - October 21

The sitting position is one of the positions they tell you to hold your child in while burbing him. If it was somehow bad for the baby, I think the doctor would tell you. Also, it is the position children are carried in in carriers in many parts of the world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it (unlike with your MIL)>

 

SaraH - October 22

This wont hurt them. It's just fine. Your mil has probably just heard some old wives tale about it and thinks it's true. No you are not a bad mom. This is rediculous. This will not hurt an infant at all. ---I sat my dd like this from the time she was able to somewhat support her head. Heck we sat her up but just held her body and head up from the time she was born. There is nothing that will hurt them as long as you either support them or they are big enough to hold up there own head. So relax. Don't worry, and next time your at your mil's and she does something like this, tell her to mind her own buisness (heck ask your doc about it just so that you can set your dd like this next time you see your mil and then when she freaks out tell her that there is absolutly nothing wrong w/ it and that since she freaked out on you about it "last time" you asked the doc. --that should probably stop her from saying stuff about things that she honestly doesn't know anything about. Good luck.

 

SaraH - October 22

Oh by the way, don't feel to bad about having MIL issues...I have them too, and I think a good number of women do.

 

aliciavr6 - October 22

My thing is, if she isnt crying, she isn't hurting. I'd be very upset (probably yelling) with my mil if she said that or told me how to hold my own baby.

 

tish212 - October 22

this post upset me sooooo much....let me say this first yogi...u r NOT a bad mom and u 100% deserve to be a mom. Dr's actually recommend that babies get burped sitting up...so if sitting a baby up were bad for them u would think a dr would tell u not to instead of recommending it. Your mil had no right to take YOUR child out of ur hands and she had no right to mumble under her breath that u don't deserve to be a mom. that is your baby and to me it sounds like ur doin a fine job. I don't mean to start a war between u and ur mil but u need to put her in her place that is ur baby and u know what is best because ur motherly instincts tell u what ur baby needs. I am a huge believer that mother and baby are more connected to eachother than anyone else...so u know what to do without being told. ur mil has no right to speak or act around u as though u r a child. and I'm sorry but her comment that u don't deserve the blessing of motherhood really really makes me mad that was mean and cruel and definitely not called for. u r a fine mother and don't ever let anyone ever tell u otherwise. but honestly u need to set her straight now otherwise things like this r going to get worse b/c she will judge and second guess everything u do. raising a baby is a lot different now then it was when she was raising ur dh. gl and I'm sorry u had to deal with someone putting u down like that.... ur a wonderful mom don't ever doubt that... :)

 

countrymom401 - October 22

I agree with all these other ladies. Maybe she doesn't know how to be a grandparent.

 

yogi - October 22

thanks ladie you are so nice and i am so gald i talked to you .ok i had a long talk with her and i basicaly told her that she had no right taking my dd from me and walk a way and if she does this one more time i will not take my dd there . and i told her i deserve to be a mom as much as every one else. she did not appologize and i dont need it i just want her to know this behavior is not accepted.

 

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