Am I Being Overprotective Or A Normal Mom

23 Replies
Mommy - November 11

I just need to vent a bit and get some feedback. I have 2 boys as most of you know, a baby and a toddler. My issue is with my husbands family. I love them and they are all nice people, but I get annoyed over things I see going on at their houses when I take my boys to visit. We only live about 6 blocks away so we visit often. One day I found out from my brother-in-law, that while playing with his 6 year old cousin, she sat on his arms and put a fake knife to his throat. I was very p___sed off to say the least. Then her brother, who is I believe 8 or 9, tried to pick up my 6 month old. He is very good with the boys but I don't even let my 11 year old sister hold him. Now his uncle wants to take him (my toddler) to The Festival Of Trees without me or my husband there. I said fine because he is very good with him and takes him places often. My only condition is that he wear a babyleash or take the stroller because it's going to be VERY crowded. My father-in-law got annoyed saying I'm just being overprotective. He is only 17 months and his uncle wants to go into a big crowd of people just holding his hand. Do you guys think I'm being irrational?

 

P - November 11

IMO if you were overprotective you wouldn't be letting him take your son in the first place. I don't think a little peace of mind is asking too much.

 

d - November 11

No, I don't think you are being irrational. You are his mother and you care a lot. I would ask him to bring the stroller because children get tired of walking for many hours and they may want to sleep in it. Also, if its too crowded its very easy to lose a child especially that young as they tend to wonder away(even in the mall), so the baby leash is a good idea. Put a paper or a braclet or necklace, something with information of address and home number on the child in case he gets lost and someone can bring him back to his parents. At daycare, children put on T-shirts with that information of the centre in case one gets lost on a trip. You are not being overprotective. You are considering the safety of your child. I don't like toy knives or toy guns. I think children should not be thinking about killing or hurting one another. Those toys I do not plan to buy but I know they are bound to see them at school on T.V etc.. . If your children see these things explain to them as they get older and understand better why its not good and encourage other kinds of games they can play taht are non violent. I think you should express your beliefs to your family and respect what they want for their kids but ask them not to have these toys accessible for your kids when you go over. Everyone loves babies and wants to hold them. For the younger children who want to hold I think is a good idea but be there and supervise. Again let them know, they can hold but only if I'm with you. So they need to ask you first so you can be there. Communicate your needs. People should know what you want and respect you. Insist even if they disagree like your Uncle. Let them be angry if they want to be but you know in your heart you are doing the right thing. So don't feel bad or guilty. After all, you are the mother and you want the best for your child.

 

lisa - November 12

i agree, your child your rules, you sound perfectly normal.

 

Rachael mommy2lucas - November 12

They are your children and your family should respect your wishes. You are not being overprotective, just as protective as a loving mom should be. Stand your ground. Everything you ask of them sounds reasonable to me. I wouldn't want to take a toddler to something like that without a stroller, they get tired and I wouldn't want to risk losing the kid.

 

T. - November 12

That's very normal. I have a 13 week old and everytime we go to my husband's family's house, his 6 year old sister (they're 14 yrs. apart) always wines to hold my daughter. I'm honestly not too comfortable with it, but my mother-in-law is very pushy. It's like, if my baby is fussy and my sister-in-law wants to hold her, I say "no, she's fussy right now", and her mom will say, you can hold her in a minute. Which I don't want her to, but it's hard to say no to my mother-in-law because she's the type of person to say "Well, why not?" and try to find a way around it. It's been like this since my daughter came home from the hospital. I didn't want to seem mean by saying I don't want her to hold the baby, but I just got very annoyed with my mother-in-law for insisting. She kind of acted like my daughter was her baby. Very annoying. And if I do say no and mean it to my sister-in-law, she kind of looks at me like I'm being mean, or she'll go behind my back and either ask my husband or her mom! Anyway, you're completely normal and I know how ya feel. Good luck!

 

Mommy - November 12

My main problem is with my husbands neice. She is very rough with our kids. I have told them many times to watch her carefully around them because she was the youngest grandchild. And my father-in0law is old, like 62, so he is used to being under protective. Things have changed since he was a kid so you have to be more careful. He doesn't seem to think it's necessary to hold his hand while walking with him outside. Otherwise he is very good with him. He plays with him and buys him things and is just an overall good grandpa. Same with their uncle. He is taking him tomorrow to the Festival of Trees, and agreed to take the stroller. I just hope he uses it. :o( I worry alot.

 

d - November 12

I'm worried with you. I hope they use it too knowing that sometimes he's not being held by grandpa. But then again the Uncle is there too to watch and help. I hope things go well tomorrow. Let us know.

 

Mommy - November 13

Okay I will let you guys know. I am nervous but I want him to be able to enjoy himself. His uncle loves him and he would actually rather tear off his own arm than let Zane get hurt, but the worry is still there. I will update you tomorrow to tell you how things went. Thanks guys!

 

ally - November 13

take the pram/stroller as i think the baby leash is kinda terrible but thats my opinion.....

 

Mommy - November 13

Why do you think a baby leash is terrible? I'm just curious BTW. :o)

 

Me - November 13

I agree, leashes are for dogs not children but then again it is nice when your in a large crowd

 

kr - November 13

Baby leashes do seem weird, but in reality they are away for the child to explore independently and with comfort. This is true also for the mothers who are especially tall or who have their hands full. Overall it depends on the child

 

Mommy - November 13

I like baby leashes. It gives babies the freedom to be out of the stroller but the parent the comfort of knowing they are safe. I think everyone wins (unless of course you are tying them to a tree in the backyard with them. I just try to think of it this way : Why do owners put dogs on leashes to take them out? To keep them safe from the road. Why not do the same for kids trying to be independent. I think they are quite useful if they won't tolerate a stroller.

 

Against Baby Leashes - November 13

This is just in regard to the baby leash, I am totally against them, and I feel that they are only for dogs. Children should not be put on leashes. If you don't feel comftorable with someone taking your child out for a day, then don't let them. I think that using the stroller is perfectly fine and well as carrying the child as well since he's only 17 months old he's not going to be walking the whole time. Ditch the leash...quite humilitating in my opinion.

 

d - November 14

Why didn't they come to get him? Did they call at least or just not show up?

 

Mommy - November 14

No! He made me want to cry. He kept getting into his carseat and saying bye bye and crying. They just never showed up for him. He was crying and going to the door saying bye bye. Did a good job at masking me feel bad. They didn't even say sorry for making him cry! I am so p__sed.

 

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