Am I Over Reacting

9 Replies
missy - March 5

Ok-dh does side jobs in the spring/summer probably about 3 x a week. Now he is playing softball once a week as well as tournaments on weekends(probably 2 or 3 weekends out of the month). Well we have a camper and 2 kids--he is not going to be around. And our ds is starting t-ball this year.I work full time as well as do everything around the house--how is this fair-how do us women get stuck doing everything?? He just doesn't understand where I am coming from he says I should be more supportive! I think its great about the side jobs that doesn't bother me b/c him and his friend want to start their own business some day. He needs to grow up--it's his kids turn now for sports-he needs to be there for him. He has just been acting like a big kid lately--him and his friends were out till 6 in the morning saturday while I am at home with our sick 10 month old dd! Sorry--I just need to vent--think I am over reacting??


Mellissa - March 5

definitely not!! I believe that when you have children, they come first.. for the mom AND the dad. What is he going to tell your son when he asks why he wasn't at his game? "oh, sorry.. my game was more important"?!? Just the fact that he didn't come in until 6 am would have been enough to send me on a rampage. but that's a different topic I think he needs to get his priorities in order. Yeah, the side jobs thing is understandable.. but come on...softball is not that important. maybe he could volunteer as the coach's a__sistant or batting coach or something for your son's team if he feels the need to be involved in a sport.


piratesmermaid - March 5

Nope. I was gonna say maybe at first, but as I continued reading.... out until 6am??? While one of his kids is sick? Heck no you are not overreacting! It looks like he needs to get his priorities in order. The side jobs are fine, IMO, especially if you need the extra $$. And I wouldn't have a problem with the softball either (my hubby plans actually during the summer) ONLY if he allows you time for a hobby/sport of your choice and supports you in that like you do him. Maybe you could ask him to organize his priorites better, together you could sit down and do this. One of me and my dh's mottos is "family first".


Renee924 - March 5

No. I agree with piratesmermaid. As a matter of fact you should make time just for yourself every week. If you're supposed to be supportive of his hobbies he should be supportive of your need for a break too. I think guys think women are supposed to give up things after their children are born but it works both ways. The way I see it is if you can go out and leave me with the baby, then you should be able to sit home with her too sometimes. Oh and the 6 am thing, I would've killed him. Even if the baby wasn't sick. That's not fair to anyone.


Smilefull - March 5

Nope. He shouldn't be leaving you at home partying---it just shows his priorities aren't in the right place. Maybe tell him what you told us? That you love him/miss him/want him to be around more.?!?


ash2 - March 5

No, you are not over reacting. Ya know the term " soccer mom " ? Well it is a little over rated, and moms always need help when the kiddos are in sports. DS is also playing soccer for the second year and DH and i make sure we are always involved as it is very important and something they will remember. Have you asked him to coach ?? Teams are ALWAYS needing head and a__sistant coaches. DH offered to coach one year and they have needed him back every year. That would be a great way to get involved AND play : )


missy - March 6

I did have a long talk to him about how I felt and basically it got me no where-he is still going to play regardless of how I feel. I asked him if he would want to be an a__sistant coach on ds team and he flat out said nope-he didnt even think about it. All I got to say is that he better be their for ds or it aint going to be a pretty summer!!!!!


Mellissa - March 6

oh wow missy.. i'm sorry. :( i'm sure it's hard dealing with an uncooperative husband. my best friend's husband is the same way. She comes to me for advice all the time and the only thing i can think to tell her is leave his a**(i'm kidding). lol. I guess some dad's don't want to be hands on.. hmm... how old is your husband? could he be going through that "me" phase that people tend to go through in their early 20's? maybe once he sees how excited your son gets about his games, then he'll feel guilty for missing out. i hope it all works out for you!!


Smilefull - March 6

I would insist on also having time for your own activity---once a week with time off 2 or 3 weekends. If da boy gets to have his fun so should you. If he is not the least bit dense he'll realise that his demand of time is unreasonable concidering the overall availability of time in the family situation. My husband insisted on going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week for 2-3hrs, while I sat at home taking care of my son. Then I started demanding having 2-3 hours of 3 or 4 times a week--he quickly realised it wasn't reasonable. Now he wakes up an hour before me every morning and gives my daughter her first feed---he gets an hour in the evening for himself to go for a run. I get an hour more of sleep. Sorry, I hope that helps--


missy - March 6

My dh is 30 going on 12!!!He will get the point hopefully when we are doing our own thing and he starts feeling left out. I dont know what else to do. Men can be such a**holes sometimes! THanks for the advice ladies.



You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!

Already a member?
Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?