Anxiety About Giving Birth To A Second Baby

4 Replies
dee23 - January 15

dh and i would both love a second child, and have decided to start ttc when ds is around 1 1/2yrs old. problem being, is that i get anxiety just thinking about that horrible labor pain, and im scared that before im due to give birth, i will break down with fear, stress and bad anxiety. ds is 6 months today (yay!), and i cant ever see myself getting over it. i KNOW i will have anxiety when the time comes, so does anyone have any ideas on how i can carm mysel down? things like, 'just breath' and 'your babe will be here soon it will be all worth it' did not help, and i would love a doula, that would relax me coming up to the birth, but they are too expensive far as i know, any other ideas on coping with anxiety?

 

Erynn21 - January 15

Have you actually talked to a doula? One of my best friends is one and I don't think her services are really expensive. I didn't have her for my dd's birth, I'm weird about stuff, I just wanted my dh and my mom there. I would at least talk to one, many are also ma__sage therapists and hypnotherapists(my friend does both of those also), it might really be beneficial to at least find out how much it is. I was going to have a waterbirth to deal with my anxiety, but I couldn't because of complications that arose, you can also do visualization exercises, the biggest thing for me was keeping the anxiety out of my head from day one, but that's just me. Hope this helps.

 

dee23 - January 15

thx eryn. i understand that you need to go into it positive to attemp a positive experience. well i did that with number 1, i was very [psitive about it and came out of it shaking feeling like death was knocking on my door. im telling you guys...its reall y really BAD anxiety and i cannot syc myslef out of it by thinking happy thoughts and visualising does not work. also our hospital has a bath to sit in but they do not do water births. i was in the tub for ages last time and when they told me to get out, that was the worst. i just cant explain how important it is for me to get over this somehow, because it means a sibling for our son and would stop family fued and all sorts of things, depression....so yeah any other advice is MUCH appreciated.

 

Emily - January 16

dee, my first labor was 42 hours for my first. I had horrible pain and I wasn't progressing on my own and they had to give me pitosin, and oh my gosh that is the worst pain ever,.... a pitosin induced or intensified contraction! Then they finally gave me the epi and it worked - sorta, i mean I thought it was great, but it made me so sick and did completely relieve the pain.....tehn I lost os much blood durring delivery (had a fourth degree cut so my dd big head ould fit and the doc stiched me up before she delivered the afterbirht caus seh was afraid I would lose to much blood if she ididn't-I coul dsee her cringed and the blood spray every time she cut and she cut fou times.......) my dh said I was yellow for two days after that....so needless to say I was so woried about the second one.....but oh my gosh it was so much easier.....only 12 hours. it was induced and It was so afraid it would make it worse, you know the good ole pitosin,.,,,but the epi worked so much better and there was no pain after htey got the epi going and she was out in thee pushes.....she pracatilly feel out....I went in scared to death....both times and botht times it was much better than I thought.....I went in with a somewhat positive but tried to prepare for the worse and I found it much better than I thought. I didn't get sick witht he epi the second time, I didn't have as much pain form the episiotomy stiches, I also did have the awful pain in my stomache I did with my first wihen they ma__saged it after birht, it was so bad the first time I went weak and could hold my baby while they did it........but it didnd pahse me at allt he second time.....it is never how you expect it......and even if it is bad, isn't your son worth it? You have a while before you start ttc again and then you will have nine months to calm yourslef so try not to wrry too much right now and enjoy you rson! my second dd is almost 7 mos, oh time flys!

 

djh - January 16

dee23, I so understand what you are feeling...in a different way. I found out I was pregnant with my second without ever having a period between the first and him! I had an abnormally hard first labor (hypertonic uterus) and a 37.5 hour labor ending in a c-section after zero cervical change! BUT, I thought the labor as long and hard and unmedicated as it was (and also my fault, I didn't want the c) was no where near as bad as my c-section. So when it came close to the due date for my second son, I started having panic attacks about another c-section. Nothing prevented me from my feelings not the "it will be easier if its scheduled" stuff, or we'll prevent the blodd loss better, or anything. What I did do was insist on going into labor so I wouldn't have to make myself drive to the operation on purpose...So my advice is to take control of whatever you can safely, it helped me to have some say over what went on and when.

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?