Any Advice On What To Say To Annoying MIL

8 Replies
joeysmom - April 17

My son is 4 months and I am still br___tfeeding him. I would love to keep doing it, but I have to go back to work and I do not work somewhere that I can pump during work. My MIL is very against using formula and when I told her I was going to start formula when I went back to work she freaked out. Now I feel even worse about quitting br___tfeeding and next time I bring it up I want to say something to her but I don't know what to say w/o making her mad or upset. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone been in this situation?

 

AmandaManns - April 17

I would just rea__sure her that the formulas that are made today, although they are not as beneficial as b___stmilk, they have a lot of the same nutrients. A lot of children are not b___stfed and they turn out perfectly healthy. Another thing you could try, although I am not sure of your schedule is to pump and do formula. I babysit for a lady who has twins and she does one botle of formula at night to help the twins sleep longer and the b___stfeeds the rest of the bottles. She just pumps once or twice at work and then at night before bed and has a lot that is stored up and that is what I feed the twins while she is working. Like I said I do not know if this fits into your schedule but it could be an option.

 

Ginny - April 17

Is there any reason that your MIL has to know? Sometimes I just avoid situations with my MIL. And you have done admirably to do it this long, so please don't feel bad about it. And I don't know if this helps, but I know a woman at church who's kids had formula while she was at work, but would b___st feed at home. And if she gets mad or upset, look her right in the eye and say, "This is killing me, but it is my only option. Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

 

Erin1979 - April 17

I would tell your MIL that this is YOUR child, and YOU think this is what will work best for BOTH of you. I'm sorry, but I do not tolerate comments like this from my MIL. She knows where to draw the line with me. She may think it, but she does not dare say it. I feel for you. If you do not think that this is something you can do, what about talking to your DH and asking him to speak to her?

 

nic nac - April 17

i agree with Erin1979. Its none of her business. The sooner you start letting people know how to mind their business the better you will be. You may not want to be mean but you can tell her that you are doing what's best and YOUR son will be fine. If she says something else then tell her to please stay out of it. She doesn't need to know everything you and your husband do while raising your son.

 

TinaMarie - April 17

Maybe having your husband talk to her may be more effective. I know I am always afraid of offending my MIL and my husband will just tell her that is the way it is. It is his Mom so he can be a little more blunt...lol. Goog luck, and do not feel bad for choices you make concerning your baby. Sometimes people are just overly opinionated when they should not be!

 

C - April 17

Why don't you just say what you said to us? It would be one thing if you could pump at work. After awhile I stopped pumping at work and would nurse when I was with my son. It has worked well thus far. That way I could still give him b___st milk too.

 

hello - April 18

You just tell her the truth, you dont have a choice.. Be firm cause at the end of the day its no business of hers, just tell her its easier and neccessary because he needs to start taking a bottle and be honest if u cant pump during work then u cant pump during work. I would just be short and to the point and not bring it up til she does, mother in laws eh.......

 

nic nac - April 18

you should talk to your husband too out of respect since it is his mom. But that still doesn't give her the right to make you feel guilty. You should be able to stick up for yourself no matter who it is. If she has the b___s to annoy you then she should be prepared to here what you have to say even if it's not a pleasant statement. I don't believe that just because she is your MIL that she gets a free "pa__s". You don't want your baby to grow up and see that Grandma is freaking out on his mother. Your the parent and you have to be strong.

 

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