Any Other Proud S A H M S

37 Replies
k.p.j.e. - February 3

Is it just me or are some people way too opinionated about whether or not it is too "retro" to stay at home to raise your kids these days. I am 25 and I am a stay-at-home mom with y son, and I will be with my daughter, too. I plan to stay at home to raise them as long as possible, hopefully up til they midway through elementary school...who knows, maybe longer. Is it just not as valued these days? It seems like lately people have been saying things like "Oh, I bet you are ready to go back to WORK!" Well, no, I have plenty of WORK in my life at home! It is such an important job to raise your kids. I realize a lot of women value their careers also, and they should, but I just think it is just as important a job to raise your children full-time as it is to "bring home the bacon." Whether it is the mom or the dad! I don't want to offend career girls at all...I just am sick of having to explain why I'm not itching to get back into the workplace that's all

 

mandee25 - February 3

I am still trying to find a way to be a sahm. I would love it. I hate the thought of someone else raising my child or seeing them more than me especially when they are so little. I don't want to miss all the cute little things they say and stuff like that. If I can't afford to be a sahm with my ds than maybe with my second child.

 

AshleyB - February 3

I am a sahm and I love it. I go to school on mondays. I go part time for nursing. I should be done in about 3-4years and I think I will work part time once my kids are in school so I can be home close to when they are, and still be the primary person in their life. I want to work in a dr. office or something like that that has normal hours, maybe when they are much older I'll work in the hospital. I can't imagine having someone other than me or my hubby with my kids all the time. My son is 8 wks, and we hope to have one more baby in about 4-5 years. My hubby is a machinist and I thank my lucky starts daily that he does well enough that I can just go to school and be at home with the baby. I figure I have the rest of my life to work and since I can, I'll put in off till later.

 

EricaG - February 3

I'm a sahm and darn proud of it too. One reason I love this forum is because people are pretty accepting of wether you're a sahm or a career mom, either that or we don't bring it up ever lol! I couldn't imagine being away from my baby for hous at a time My baby is 6.5 months old and yesterday was the first time we left her with a babysitter while we went out for 2.5 hours for a movie. It was hell! I liked being out but I feel like my baby is a part of me. Some career moms think that sahms lose their ident_ty, I don't feel that way at all. I love my job and could not imagine doing anything else. I do understand, however, that many women have to work or they are better moms when they are working. Everybody is different and should do what is best for them.

 

hello - February 3

Yes i wanted to be the one to see my daughter first walk, crawl etc..... She will go to occasional care once a week for a couple of hrs to socialise etc, Just like you i am also proud to be home with her...Its harder being home, at work i had tea breaks, lunch breaks and worked an 8 hr day, here there r no breaks and its a 12 hour day.... My break is when she has a nap for an hr or so per day.... I used to work in childcare and its a cruel world in there for the kids who r full time.... They miss out on the little things.... sleeping in, casually getting into the day, shopping, parks, etc etc... Not condemming those that work here just replying to your comment that u are not alone in how you feel......

 

BusyBee - February 3

First of all, I just want to say that any mom who works (part time or full time) AND is a mom is a SUPERMOM :) I am a sahm and I feel like it is a lot of work. However, I do not feel one bit ashamed that I am not planning on going back to work when my maternity leave ends. I kind of get annoyed at people always asking me if/when I want to go back to work.. I had the kid, I should be the one to take care of him all day long (if possible - I realize that not everyone can and that's OK too). Anyways, almost every single day I think about how thankful I am that I don't have to go to work, but that I can stay at home with my son.

 

Sindel - February 3

I'm basically a sahm.. I guess I am lucky enough to work with wonderful people who will work around my schedule. I work 1-2 days a week. My boss told me all that is expected of me to keep my position is to work 1 day out 29 to stay in the computer system.. Its nice that I can be at home etc and still be able to go to work and hang out with the girls. We work at a shoe store so its not hard work either lol. Another thing is too if the money situation got really bad I can still go and make some money to help out or take a couple days to make some money for a special occasion.

 

vonzo - February 4

I'm 23 and I've been a sahm for the last nearly 5 months. I'm giong back to work part time on Monday and whilst im excited about new prospects and not having to struggle for money I really don't want to leave my dd. People keep saying "oh you'll be glad to have a break from her" but i don't see it that way at all, i don't want a "break" from her.Dh will have her most of the time as my hours work well with his, but for 2 weeks in every 4 my mum will have her for 2-3 days. I feel like im copping out of looking after her. I know it's stupid as i need to work to get pennies to have a roof over her head bla bla bla but i can't help but feel like i should be there for her all the time. I admire and am very jealous of all you stay at home mommies it's the toughest job in the world but i'd give anything to be "employed" as one!! :o)

 

sophandbob - February 4

If only it coud be as clear cut as women choosing their careers over their children. I would love to be a sahm but it is just not possible. if i don't work we dont eat. simple.

 

eclipse - February 4

I desperately want to be a sahm but after 6 months I have to go back to work. It would have been the normal 12 weeks but we got GENEROUS help from my husband's family so I could stay home. Unfortunately, as Soph said, if I don't work after that, no food. It is a horrible choice that really exposes the fallacies of the way maternity leave and motherhood is treated here in the states. I really wish that I could stay at home and be paid, but because my job would not grant me a leave of absence on top of my unpaid maternity leave, I had to quit so am faced with a job search on top of it. It sickens me to have to make this choice when all I want to do is take care of my son and be there for him.

 

HannahBaby - February 4

I LOOOOOVE being a sahm. I am 22 and have a 2 year old daughter and 3 month old son. I woudlent go back to work if it ment making a million dollars a year. I wake up to spend the day with my kids. I give all the props in world to working mothers, but i just couldent imagine only seeing my babies a few hours a day. I want to be a nurse (someday) but my kids will always be first in my life. I will work overnights so that im there when they get on the bus and home when they get off. . Thats so important to me.

 

sophandbob - February 4

I must say that this thread upsets me a little. In fact it has upset me a lot - to the point tears are streaming. Maybe it is because I am hyper sensitive to the matter and very emotional at the moment anyway - I just want to reiterate that I WANT to stay at home with my son. I want to see him for more than the 5 waking hours that I do each day. My son is the first, middle and last thing in my life, and me going to work does not stop that. I think about him every single second of the day. The fact that I can't absolutely kills me. He is six months old and I sob about the fact I shall not have him run into my arms as school finishes, that I have to go to work when he is poorly. I am luckier than most because I can send him to my school and I can see his xmas play, and sports day and so on. I am so envious of those people who are able to stop off work, but please don't think that every mum goes back to work through choice.

 

k.p.j.e. - February 4

Hi everybody. To sophandbob- I really admire you doing it all, you know, it is just as important that you provide "material" things (house, food, diapers,) as you provide mommy things like going to his sports events, etc. and you are doing BOTH and you are awesome for that. I am jealous of women who get out every day and see the world and hae contact with people other than their kids and hubby believe me! We all have different situations and anyone who is raising a child or children knows that no matter what choice we make (or don't make) we would all love to just be able to be attached at the hip with our kids! I was never lucky enough to have a career that was fulfilling to me, which is probably why I feel so fulfilled being a housewife/s-a-h-m. I mean w/out me, the house would fall apart, right? :) I hope you are very fulfilled in your career and your child(ren) will respect and thank you some day for being able to do everything you did for them.

 

CyndiG - February 4

Sophandbob, I can so relate to you. I'm a sahm now, but with dd #1 I worked. My mom kept her until she was in school, then she went to afterschool. I felt exactly the way you do! I would cry and be so upset! If I ever had to call in sick because she was sick, I would feel so guilty. But there was no way financially that I could stay home and not work. I prayed hard, and we planned literally for two years for me to stay home. The last year, we lived off my dh salary, and put mine into savings, just to see if we could do it. All I can say is that sometimes it looks like there's no way you can not work, but if you write down every penny it costs you to work, versus how much you make, you might be surprised. Also, think about every dime you spend. If you can cut anything out, do. But I know how you feel and I'm sorry! I can't say anything that will make you feel better. But, I know that it was so scary for me to turn loose of that money. But once I did, I found that we are doing just as good financially, and definately better homewise! Good luck! Pray hard! God provides!!!

 

Rabbits07 - February 4

I've learned over the years that you just have to learn to be happy with your own choice and not base whether or not you are happy or not on what other people think. I have 6 kids and have been both a sahm and career mom at different times over the years. I have met people who thought it was wonderful when I stayed home with the kids, other people who wondered how I could stand to stay at home with all my kids and even others who thought something was wrong that I didn't HAVE to work with that many kids. Then as a working mom I've encountered people who think my place is to be at home with the kids, those who ask who could possibly agree to watch all of those kids and others who think it's wonderful that I work and take care of my family. All in all it doesn't matter what THEY think....I do what I do when I do it for me and my family and as long as we are happy that is all that matters.

 

k.p.j.e. - February 4

You guys are all totally right in your answers! I feel a lot more validated now but also I see other points of view too...let me ask this question...do you other s-a-h-m's (and working moms who also do housework) do EVERYTHING around the house and totally let your hubby off the hook? That's what I do. Am I ridiculous? :) I feel like a 1940's wife but it's what works for us! I think that's what is the most important thing. My husband brings home enough for us all to be stress-free so I feel like I am contributing equally this way. Just wondering what you girls do.

 

sahmof3 - February 4

I tried making dh do some housework, but I always had to redo it lol. it's easier and quicker to just do it myself. He is in charge of all things car and home repair related, though. Cleaning and home decor are my areas, but I'll let you in on my dirty little secret... I'd tell dh, but if he hasn't figured it out yet, it's his own fault *wink*..... When I want to paint a room in the house, I buy everything that's needed, do the taping and start in on a wall. My dh firmly believes that I cannot paint. Why, I don't know, because to me it looks just the same as when he does it, but... he will come in and say it looks "streaky" and take over and voila... got my room painted ;-) Seems clear to me what my motive is when I buy a can of paint, but as long as he doesn't catch on *mua haha*.

 

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