Boys Will Be Boys

26 Replies
ash2 - February 2

First of all before i start , this post is moslty directed towards moms that have kids ( boys ) around age 3 and up. You cannot say what you would do in this situation if you have a smaller child that doesnt know very much about this topic. I need advice on if i need to be worried. Hubby says no, but im just a little concerned. I posted this maybe 6 months back , and i really didnt get the response i needed. My 4 year old son has really started getting interested in guns. He is not shooting at people or pointing them at people because he knows he is not supposed to. He never does. He either points them to the wall or to a " make-believe " monster in mid-air. He knows bad guys from good guys on tv and cartoons. I limit his watching with guns and instruments to harm people. However, " Power Rangers " is his favorite cartoon and the only reason i let him watch it is because they do not shoot people, they shoot monsters that are hideous looking, lol...To add to that, my husband plays paintball about once a month and ashton LOVES to take his paintball outside and " shoot " at the trees. Anything with a gun that he sees at walmart he wants. He loves anything from water guns, to ones that have fake darts that shoot out of them. My question is should i be worried ? Again, this is for moms who have children older. When ashton was around one and two years of age, i told myself he would never play with them, but have grown to believe that as long as they know it is only for " play " , then it is okay. I have told him to never shoot at people, but i hope he realizes the difference when he is older that of course if someone is trying to harm him or his family then it is okay. He is very good at keeping the gun away from any " human " or animal. If he accidently " sweeps" by with his play gun and he thinks it accidently pointed at someone he will say " oh, mommy im so sorry, i didnt mean to point that at _____!!! ( lol, its quite cute ). Hubby says that it is a boy thing and i shouldnt be worried . He said that all boys, even if their parents will not let them have a gun, then they will use their fingers to pretend their is a gun with their hand. I have also heard that if you not let a child absolutly not expeirience with anything , then that would be the thing that they would do out of spite ! Im probably babbling now, but he has just gotten more interested in these things recently. And before anyone asks, he only has 2 or 3 play guns that he can play with. And power rangers is the only movie he is allowed to watch. However, it seems like guns are in every cartoon even with jimmy neutron and his " laser gun " and thats like the most innocent cartoon ever , lol. Please give me opionions : )

 

lexa - February 2

Well, my son just turned 9 a couple of months ago, and he still likes guns. I'm probably going to get bashed for this, but here goes....Around the same age as yours, he too became interested in them. He loved the Power Rangers (it was his fav cartoon/toys). He wanted the laser guns to play with. My thoughts were, he is a boy. Let him play. I let him play with them. I still do. He knows he doesn't aim at people as though he is going to harm them. As long as you instill that into him, you have nothing to worry about. Now at the age my son is at, they play "dart tag" (with the nerf dart guns). I let him play that too. He understands that they are nerf darts that can't hurt anyone. And honestly, I'd rather see him play tag with nerf darts rather than pushing people over playing touch tag. As long as they know it's in fun and not meant to hurt people, it's fine. Now I should say that my son did get out of playing with the guns when he started 1st grade (I think), but got into them again last summer when the kids started playing dart tag. Oh, and I've played dart tag with him quite a few times...it's fun:-)

 

Steph - February 2

My son is only 7 months old...so he doesn't count, but my sister has two boys 5 & 7 who LOVE GUNS! They've loved guns for as long as I can remember, and she made d__n sure that they couldn't have any. She was kinda like a nazi about it....she would freak out if they got one for x-mas or b-days and such.. She'd always through them out. Well, despite all her efforts of not letting them have the actual guns, they'd make guns out of anything, a stick, paper and tape (they go a long way), their own fingers....the list can go on. It took her a while to realize that she was fighting the inevetiable....now they are allowed to have guns, but ironically, they perfer to find the perfect looking gun stick to go and shoot with. My daughter who is 8 plays all these same games as well...they shoot each other, they fall over and in laughing fits! I honestly wouldn't worry about it nor make too big of an issue over it....to the kids, it's just innocent play. :o) Hope this helps.

 

Lisastar9 - February 2

What your dh said is correct about guns. Guns were not allowed in my house growing up,yes I used my fingers. My kids don't have ant guns in the house. They have playmobile with guns. Play plastic police peole with guns. We don't allow guns in my famile for my boys . I say if they are at a friends house how has guns who am I to stop them,it is not in my home. My kids will make guns out of mega block,hockey sticks you name it. They use their imagination on how to create a gun. When I hear them playing shooting games I put a stop to it till next time. Should you be worried I would say no? Playing with guns can only be a harmless fun for kids. Ask my kids this is what they tell me. They know guns are bad and can hurt or kill people.I personally think kids make enough noise in play without guns . With guns the volume levels go up in my house at least pretend guns do. I am not sure I have helped to answer your question.

 

in the woods - February 2

Yes, guns are sort of the rite of pa__sage, a symbol of power. Who did not play them growing up? I think letting kids satisfy their curiosity about guns now while they are small is better than creating a forbidden fruit.

 

ash2 - February 2

Im a little confused lisa star , lol are you okay with toy guns or are you against them ?

 

SonyaM - February 2

Here is my take on this. I have two boys, one age 4.5 and one 16 months. My dh and I do not like guns, do not own guns and do not want our children around guns. We tell them how we feel about guns and that in OUR opinion nothing good can come from a gun. We are not hunters and simply do not like guns. We therefore do not let our kids play with guns. We have NO toy guns in our house, even water guns. We have found alternate solutions that my son enjoys even more than he would a gun. We find that it would be hypocritical to say "we don't believe in guns, but you can play with them". My oldest is also not allowed to watch any violent cartoons such as power rangers, ninja turtles, or any of the "older" cartoons such as jimmy nuetron and spongebob. He knows this and even tells me to turn the channel if one of them comes on. I think it would be hard for a young child or even an older child to see a real gun and understand they are not allowed to play with it if they are allowed to play with toy guns. If they have a general rule that they are not allowed to play with guns then there should be no confusion. Now I am not naive enough to think he won't play with them when I am not around but hopefully as he gets older he will mature enough to follow our wishes and know right from wrong. This is what works for our family and I feel good about our decision.

 

Bonnie - February 2

Ash, I have a 13 year old son. My two cetns is....I agree with our hubby. He is a boy, let him have some fun and don't worry. You're doing a great job by teaching him right from wrong about them. beyond that, go play some cops and robbers with him. :)

 

Jelly - February 2

I think its fine for boys to play " guns". Boys will be boys, liek you said!. of course all it is is a personal opinion, but anyway, I think it is so funny how people say thta kids that grow up playing with guns will become violent, serial killers or something. If you think about it, in the past 100 years, before all the child psychology looking into this, kids played with guns and they turned out fine, mostly ;-) And if you said that your son is capable of distinguishing good guys from bad,... and knows not to point at people... there is NOTHING wrong with it, its human nature for boys to play liek this, i mean c'mon, girls play house, dolls, kitchen..., what are boys supposed to play....???? Of course they won't play " pretend lawyer, or pretend real estate agent" they want guns, bad guys, wrestling, throwing,... banging... breaking, fixing.... Even when boys play with action figures they pretend that they are fighting, killing each other, and stuff,. what else would they do with action figures like the power rangers, batman,... you can't expect them to play out a soap opera liek little girls do with barbie dolls. My son is 4 years old. he likes guns. My husband is a cop ( hahahaha sorry i sound like Hannahbaby saying that) he goes out shooting a lot to an open range, and being that we live in Arizona, he often takes our 4 year old and 6 year old sons. they know right from wrong, and that real guns are serious, and know not to touch dady's guns ( which are locked up of course) but they have little toy cowboys guns, as well as water guns etc. Boys will be Boys. Think of video games for adolescence, they all involce violence, guns, etc. In the real world there is news on TV about violence, shootings etc. One day they will be introduced to the " big bad world of guns" I don't think giving them an early start will make their perception of guns twisted... I hope i made sense with my opinion.

 

lexa - February 2

SonyaM, I disagree with you when you say that it may be hard for an older child to see a real gun and understand they are not allowed to play with it if they are allowed to play with fake guns. If the children are taught the difference between the fake and real things, then there wouldn't be any confusion. It all comes down to being taught right from wrong and play from real. As I said, my son is 9 and he clearly understands the difference! He knows what guns real guns are capable of. My dh and his family are hunters (I don't agree with it, but that's them). Anyway, my dh is very firm on the fact that my son knows the difference. He knows they stay locked up. (just to let everyone know, the bullets are locked in a separate location in the garage where ds can't even get to them at all...and doesn't know). My opinion is as long as children are taught....they will be fine. It's curiosity that killed the cat!

 

Lisastar9 - February 2

I am against guns,but who am I to stop my kids playing with them at a friends house.

 

SonyaM - February 2

I certainly don't think kids that play with guns will grow up to be serial killers but for us it's about a value I suppose. We don't believe in guns for the average joe (cops are different) and therefore we feel it would be very hypocritical for us to allow our son to play with guns. Lexa, maybe you are right about the older child being able to know the difference but some toy guns look very much like real guns so I think for some kids old and young that can be a tragedy waiting to happen. I guess this is what makes the world go round.....differing opinions.

 

lexa - February 2

I agree with you too though Sonya. What I fear about real guns looking like fake guns is if my son is somewhere other than my house (say, at a friends). That is where I would hope common sense in other people would come in to play. If anyone has "real" guns in their house, I would expect them to have them locked away from a child's reach and unloaded! Thank you for not being harsh on me, LOL. So I don't totally disagree with you there:-) Just think, if we all didn't have different opinions, what would we talk about here?

 

in the woods - February 2

SonyaM - I see your take, I am just curious - how are you planning to get around Merry Melodies? "Duck season! - Rabbit season!" (hunters!) Around Chipmunks' songs (Alvin shooting a gun during a song)? Around watching a Western (will they never see "The good, the bad and the ugly"?) "The Star Wars" ? "Alien" ? "Terminator"?

 

SonyaM - February 2

in the woods, well I dont' know what half of that stuff is and I haven't seen any of those movies so I can't really say. At four my son wouldn't be seeing any of those anyhow and as he gets older as with all "house" rules things will be altered. Lexa. that is my point exactly regarding the real gun/fake gun. If he's at someone else's house (when he is older) and they don't have an ouce of common sense and have a gun accessible I want him to know that he can't play with a gun that way whether it's real or fake it shouldn't matter.

 

ash2 - February 2

Wow, you ladies have given some great advice. Jelly you made some very good points, however i actaully am against the violent video games. Ashton will never play anything over "E" untill he is in high school. Then he can move up to a "T" ..But as long as he lives with us, he will never be allowed to play an "M"..I seriously do think video games ( violent ones ) contribute to most juvenille violence. But i do agree to the statement you made " what else are they supposed to play with ". Boys are limited to what they CAN play. I think about the old days when men had to hunt for food for their families. There son always went with them to learn to do it for their family . They were introduced to guns their whole lives and turned out okay ( my dad included) I actaully remember going hunting with him and my brother on oca__sion. The only difference between then and now, is all you have to do is go down to the local grocery store and purchase the meat, because someone else already killed it. I guess what i am trying to prove is that if it wasnt as available to us now, then we would be out in the woods killing our own dinner........with a gun.

 

ash2 - February 2

And i can relate toy your fears about the gun being over at someone else's house too sonya. That is a big fear of mine too. But i would hate to base the fact that i wasnt going to let my child play with toy guns because he " might " go over to someones house and he " might " get into a cabinet and he " might " know how to use it. I do eduacate him that do not ever touch a gun , unless he asks me or dad first. However, i am also one of those parents that i will not let him go over to anyones house without me knowing the parents and " drilling " them about things...( yeah, i am one of those, lol) I am such a paranoid mom, and i do get overly protective, i just hope i am one of those moms that knows where to draw the line. I can see where you are coming from though, sonya. I was in your shoes one year ago ! I am still undecided ! ( AHHH)

 

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