C Section Mommies

56 Replies
piratesmermaid - February 16

I'm wondering if any of you feel bothered by the fact that you weren't able to give birth va___ally for one reason or another. We're watching FRIENDS (for the millionth time) and it stinks that all the births on there didn't have problems. It wasn't real, and it just got me thinking. I mean, I love Gretchen so much, and I'm so happy she got here safe and sound. But every once in a while I get this twinge in my gut, that I didn't get to experience that, and I never will be able to because the hospital in our town doesn't do VBACs, the closest one is over 2hrs away. And I was so drugged up for the csection that Gretchen was several hours old before I could really realize that I was a mother. She's 7months old today. Will this feeling ever go away?

 

Brendansmom - February 16

Brendan is 15 months old and I still get upset about it from time to time. I also feel like I will be robbed of the anticipation the next time since they like to schedule c-sections. I know how you feel, I love my son more than anything but I do feel like I missed out!

 

mommie2be - February 16

yes, yes, yes.... I feel like I missed out on the natural part of female existence... My DR was c-section happy and I can only pray that I'll have the chance for a VBAC.

 

krnj - February 16

I feel like that too sometimes. But I know that the c-section was the best thing for me. I recovered very quickly and didn't have any complications. I had one because of fibroids and I had GD when I was prego w/my son. The dr said it was safer too with my age. Now that I'm pregnant again the scar is starting to bother me. I guess it's stretching or whatever. Guess I'll have to have another C! Congrats on Gretchen being 7 months! :)

 

Keli - February 16

sometimes I feel that way too. I've had 2 sections. One 9yrs ago. One 7/14/06. But it was out of my control, so I try not to worry about it.

 

Crissy - February 16

Oddly enough, I really don't feel like I missed out. Maybe a tiny bit. But I am a HUGE chicken and I was scared to death of labor.. lol. I guess with everything on TV and all. Don't get me wrong, I was also very scared of major abdominal surgery too.. lol. My dd was 10 pounds 7 oz also, and my doc said there was a risk of shoulder dystocia too, so I was easily talked into the section. But I can totally understand why most people feel like they've missed out with C sections. :-)

 

aurorabunny - February 16

I don't have any feelings of missing out as far as the birth experience goes, but with all of my c-section problems and complications, I really felt like I missed out on doing a lot of things with my baby when he was first born. Even at several months post partum when my incision was still open and infected and I was so sick, I would just sit at home while my husband took Brody for walks in the stroller and cry and think about some of the moms that had v____al births that were completly back to normal and out doing normal stuff with their little ones. I know v____al birth has it's complications too, but it was just how I felt.

 

piratesmermaid - February 17

I think my biggest problem was the drugs. I mean I was sooooooooooo sick afterward, I couldn't look up to see Gretchen without hurling all over the place. She was born on a Sunday evening, and I couldn't really "meet" her until Monday afternoon because I felt so bad.

 

BriannasMummy - February 17

I honestly dont feel deprived from missing the natural birthing experience. I feel as though.. either way.. ME MYSELF and I supported 2 babies inside of me for nine months, both of them came out of me.. it doesnt matter to me that I didnt push them out, Im quite proud of myself that I did wonderfully with both of my c sections.. with both I was up and walking within hours afterwards. Ive talked to a lot of other people that feel like you though. One of my best friends basically cries thinking about not being able to give birth naturally with her last two boys. I can totally understand where you are coming from though! Perhaps later on down the road things will change and ur hospital will start doing VBAC's and ull get ur second chance... who knows.~Kristin~

 

Mingill - February 17

I know how you feel. While I'm so glad my little guy got here safe and healthy, from time to time, I feel a little sad that it ended in a c-section. I really wanted a natural childbirth. I'm okay with how things turned out though, I guess with time the feeling will go away, but I'm sure a little part of me will always feel like I missed out. The part I feel bad about was the drugs (I didn't get sick like you pirates, that must have been awful), but the morphine numbed any emotions I had. I was just giddy and although I knew my son was born, I didn't get to feel the rush of excitement and wave of emotion. And I didn't get to hold him right away, I really wanted to be the first set of loving arms to hold him. Instead I had to wait till I was in recovery, and he'd already been pa__sed from his father to nurse after nurse. I'm hoping my hospital does VBAC for the next one.

 

djh - February 17

Yes! I am going to be brutally honest here, and do NOT intend to insult, instigate, offend or in any way trigger bad feelings of any kind. This is my experience and my unique feelings. I had been a champion, Olympic-level gymnast, everything I had ever asked my body to do it had done, when I went ot my very first OB appt. they told me I would never have a v____al birth and I set out to prove them wrong. I labored for 37.5 hours of hyperactive labor to get to 1.5 cm! They finally showed me an x-ray to prove that my baby was completely out of my pelvis and that the geometry would never work. I was so devastated! I know what everyone says, the baby is healthy, we are okay, a

 

djh - February 17

oops, hit submit by accident....LOL any ways, all the great stuff we are told and are supposed to be grateful for. But I still hate that I had such a small pelvis, and I can honestly admit that I had a LOT of pain afterwards and complicatons so when I hear people say that c-sections are easy, or a walk in the park it makes me almost p__sy. It shouldn't, but it makes me feel like "what are you implying? That I am a wuss?" I certainly know what long, hard labor is and my c-sections still sucked worse. I know people don't mean that (or maybe some do...) but I have a very high pain tolerance, unless you cut my abdomen...so I still hate c-sections and feel sad that out of 4 kids, I couldn't even get one out and experience delivering my child without surgical help. May not be the "right" way to feel, may not be the popular thing to say, but it is how I feel. Everyone has something significant that eats at them and that is how I feel about my c-sections. It doesn't even need to be said that I am grateful it was available to allow me to have children, but it doesn't mean I can't regret how they had to be born. You are perfectly normal to feel that way. Congrats on your baby!

 

Dawn - February 17

Lucy will be 7 months old on the 23rd and I still think about her birth now and wish that I had of had a v____al birth. I had a c-section due to Lucy being breech. I tried all sorts to get her to turn but she was having none of it. The doctors discussed me having a c-section and said that if I had a v____al birth the babies head could get stuck, well that just freaked me out thinking that my baby's head may get stuck and she could stop breathing. So I agreed to have a c-section on the 25th July, but Lucy had other ideas, my waters broke on the 23rd July at 3.30am, dh and I got to the hospital at 5am and I was 5cms. They took me through to surgery 45minutes later and I was 10cms. The doctor said I could try a v____al birth since my labor was quick but I had just been given my spinal bloke for the c-section so they went ahead. I was also scared about the baby's head getting stuck said I said to go ahead with the section. I was given morphine are surgery and that makes me ill so. Tte section day after my c-section I was in so much pain, when Lucy cried I couldn't move for the pain. I was told by my doctor that I can try a VBAC, but I have moved so fingers crossed I still can when the time comes.

 

shelly - February 17

hi piratemermaid ,i knew i had my csection around the same time as you ,my ds 7 months tommorrow, yes id liked to have experienced holding my baby as soon as id had him,i didnt get to hold him for a good couple of hours or so after my c section and i feel bitter about that,everyone held him before me, anfd the c sect pain makes it difficult to do much for the first few days, id hoped to vbac with 2nd ds but it wasnt possible,i do feel the same as you,dh family irritate me by saying i was to posh to push . thats a shame that your local hospital dosent do vbacs, id like another and i know proberly would be another c section ,i dont know if id be allowed normal birth after 2 sections, i think theyve both got their pros and cons but yes i feel the same and my ds same age as gretchen,

 

Perl - February 17

My c-section like probably most of everyone's here was necessary because of baby's breech position. I just tell myself that it was the safest thing for baby and me to help me get over any feelings of regret. So I don't feel too bothered by it but I still wish I could have had more time with my baby right after he was born. They showed him to me and I gave him a little kiss on the cheek and then they wisked him away from me while they closed me up. About drugs. . . I knew they would bother me so when the anesthesiologist asked me what I wanted in addition to the spinal block I asked for the smallest dose of morphine possible and refused the muscle relaxer because I told him I wanted to be alert for the birth of my son. Also, anesthesiologist held up a mirror for me to see my baby as he was coming out and that added A LOT to my experience. I'm not allowed a VBAC either so next time I'll just request that my dh be allowed to hold my baby close to my face a little bit longer than 30 seconds. My hospital will allow VBAC but the Drs in my medical group are required to stay with the patient throughout the entire labor& delivery because of the risks involved. Since no Dr. has time to spend 30 hours in labor with a woman they push for the c-section.

 

olhdw101 - February 17

I had a v____al delivery with my 1st and a planned c-section with my 2nd and if I could do it all over again I choose the c-section.…. IMO. I see nothing beautiful about delivering a baby, what I do see beautiful is the experience of the baby going from being part of you to a independent being, and getting to see him/her for the first time. I put no importance on how they were brought into this world.

 

sahmof3 - February 17

It never really bothered me. I was trying for a natural delivery, but I knew it wouldn't bother me if I needed a c-section. I guess I've always just viewed birth as a means to an end and not an event... don't mean to offend anyone who really wanted the experience of a v____al delivery... just my opinion about it. I basically thought, "This is bound to be painful either way and I just want it over with and to see my baby." lol

 

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