Can T Stop Crying

10 Replies
EM - February 22

Please help, my son is 9months old and has been going to daycare since 12 weeks. He has done wonderful there but he's now at the age where he wants mom desparately and he bawls his eyes out everytime I leave him. The daycare is down the street so I have been going down on my lunch breaks everyday since we started to spend time with him but now he cries when I leave then too. THis morning I just broke down crying after I left. I feel like I'm abandoning him. Plus I'm 15 weeks pregnant with my second and the hormones and such don't help. I wish I could just quit my job but its just not financially possible. I don't want to quit going down there at lunch either. What do I do?

 

Kelly K - February 22

Thankfully this is just a phase he's going through. All babies do it at one time or another. It's just a case of separation anxiety. One way that you may want to try is have a daycare teacher distract him while you leave. It may keep him from noticing you have left and keep on playing.

 

Elizabeth - February 22

I stay home with my son so I don't really have any advise for you in way of the daycare issue. I do suggest maybe limiting lunchtime visits ti one a week thou. Sounds like it hard enough on him when you leave in the morning..but then going there in the midday and getting him psyched to leave with you only to be disapointed a second time that day sounds like it's just to rough on him. I'm sure you want to see hiim, but after you've left him screaming one time...I think you should just stay gone till your ready to pick him up and bring him home. This phase will pa__s and when it does you can resum your lunch time visits. On a different note..How are you doing with a 9 month old and being pregnant so soon after. I ask because I have a 81/2 month old son and I'm 25 weeks pregnant...and I don't see many other people in our situation.

 

EM - February 22

Elizabeth - I'm enjoying the time being pregnant and am a bit nervous about the next one coming and how to deal with two babies. I was having dreams of having twins till I figured out that the dream meant I had anxiety over taking care of 2 babies! We did plan our pregnancies this way and am sure we will be happy when the kids are a bit older but I'm sure it will be pretty challenging when they're young...especially with a newborn who wants to nurse all day long!

 

xXx-Lesley-xXx - February 22

I fell pregnant with my 3rd when my 2nd was only 9 months old. I can honestly say, its not much harder having the 3 children as it is having the 2. I wish I had the oldest 2 so close together.

 

Elizabeth - February 22

I know I am nervious as well. My sons will be 11 1/2 months apart...Irish twins. I can't beleive I chose to do this...know I feel kind of crazy for making them so close in age...my second son will be born before my first son's first birthday...what was I thinking.

 

Elizabeth - February 22

I got pregnant with my second son when my first was just 10 weeks.

 

jg - February 22

The lunchtime thing might be more distressing than helpful......though it would be hard for you to quit. Does he cry when you are not there? He might just be playing you, so check with your daycare provider if he settles when you have gone. Also, and this is a really horrible thought and I don't want to scare you, but if it is really terrified screaming, then it might be an indication that all is not well at the daycare centre. Sorry for saying that but unfortunately these days it is something that needs to be considered.

 

Erin1979 - February 22

I agree with the first prt of jg's post....maybe the lunch time visits are jsut making it worse. I would not go, and get him used to you being gone all day. It is just a phase, and I know it is hard, but try it, and see how it goes. You want to enjoy your pregnancy....soon it will be 2 screaming at you when you go.

 

EM - February 23

Here's the other dillema...the greedy daycare charges for every half hour past the hours of 8:30-3:30 (cause they think they're a school!) so I'm saving a half hour going there during the day but I may be able to just leave work earlier. Jg, one huge reason I even started going down there is so I could check up on him...I randomize the time that I show up, sometimes early, sometimes later in the day, so they don't know when to expect me. He is always playing or napping or being fed and happy when I show up. Does anyone know how long this stage lasts?

 

jg - February 23

That's a great idea if you can EM, skip lunch and leave early! Great too that you check up on your boy randomly - there are some scary stories out there (Dr Phil freaked me out the other day!). If your son is happy every time you show up, it's probably just the initial separation that's hard for him, so don't feel like you are abandoning him since he is obviously happy there. (Mummy guilt feelings eh!)

 

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