Child Care Long But Please Read And Answer

10 Replies
punkin01 - March 10

i have a question and most you you may think i am being silly but to me and hubby we are serious and we are stuck and not sure what to do.........i am 27 weeks preggo and we have a 16 month old daughter....we are trying to plan ahead and decide child care for DD when i am in hospital having DS it is a planned C section for may 30 so no worries of last minute people or in the middle of the night sitter (unless little bro decides to come early or something like that) anyway we dont like leaving her with anyone unless just absolutely necessary like i had a funeral to attend and hubby couldnt get off work so his aunt kept her and it was just a few hours and that is OK or like my dad is not in good health and when i have to take him to the Dr and she is a handfull i leave her with this aunt and that is OK i work on sat and sun and DH works m-f so we dont have to put her in daycare and my MIL (monster in law) is out of the question (some may remember my post about her being 7 mos old in her playpen on the deck and hubby and his brother was working on it and his mom was suppose to be watching her ....well an acron fell off the tree and bounced right into the playpen ....DD picked it up and put it into her mouth and started to choke on it ....i was hysterical because i was at work and was talking to DH when she started coughing and he threw down the phone and said she was choking and her remark was i seen it fall in there and i thought she knew better than to put it in her mouth WTF anyway she is out of the question........we have a friend that we know wouldnt hurt our DD and we think she would take care of her BUT she has had a hysterectomy and wants a baby so bad for her and her hubby she babysits free for several of her hubbys sisters she goes out and buys bassinette blankets and all sorts of baby stuff for them but after a month or so they refuse to let their child go over there anymore but we cant find out why??? there has to be a reason why they give up a free sitter .....we have tried to ask around but noone knows or will tell except for she was seen in walmart and over heard telling someone that the baby was hers and how old it was and such never said that it was her husbands niece/nephew.........she has bought a toddler bed and sheets and all for my DD to stay while i am in hospital and has even taken 3 days off from work to be able to do it for the creepy part....we never asked her to keep our DD we were still talking bout it and DH we never mentioned it to her at all ......she is younger and would stay up late with her and DD is used to staying up later than most people put their kids to bed but she sleeps later in the morning and it just fits better with me being preggo and all but DH aunt goes to bed around 8 pm and wouldnt stay up with her and she has no room for DD to sleep and is a hard sleeper so if DD got up would she be heard??? the friend is a light sleeper and would wake up easily ...i just dont know what to do .....yes we know hubby could and would stay home with her BUT this is the birth of his son and he wants to be there to help me at night and all ....well we have his aunt to come and watch her during the c section so hubby can be with me but i mean later in the day and at night......and we want him in the room all the time instead of the nursery but i remember how hard it was the first night with DD getting up to feed her and picking her up and me getting up to go potty DH was very much needed that first night especially because the floor was packed and the nurses was running around and if you needed help up walking to go potty it may take 20 min to get one free....if they would let DD stay with us it would be nice then we would have no worries....another thing she is in the seperation anxiety thing big time right now and one nite i got called in to work 3rd and hubby played h__l getting her to sleep it was well after 2 am before she finally lost her fight to stay up and normally she is in bed by 11 midnite is rare........she kept running to the door crying mommy and wanted just me that nite but when hubby leaves it is the same she wants only him we are afraid of what it will be like if we both are away from her any length of time .....what do yall suggest ??? any advice will be great sorry again it so long and rambling ......


CyndiG - March 10

My dd stayed with us at the hospital. After they put you in a room, it's pretty much up to you who's in there. That's how it is at our hospital anyway. I take it from your post that your parents aren't close? That would be the ideal situation for me. I hope you figure it out. The good news it that you still have a little while to go, so I'm sure it will work its self out. Don't worry.


punkin01 - March 10

my mother pa__sed away in 2003 .....if she was here it would be no problem at all.....and like i said my dad is in bad health and is not able to tend to her i have some aunts on my moms side that would on a weekend but i am scheduled for may 30 on a wednesday and they all work full time i told you about his mom and his dad died when he was in high school so his side is no help other than the aunt but she goes to bed so early.....thanks for your advice i will try and contact the hospital and see if she can stay with cyndi can i ask a personal ?...did you have your DD stay due to noone to watch her or are yall "over protective" like we are called???


Bridget - March 11

With all the potential drama, I would keep my daughter with me if possible. The relatives won't really work out for various reasons and that friend with the hystere. sounds like a nutjob, no offense. My husband is very protective of his little family (just one son, and me) but because my DH's TWIN brother fell off the wagon (and some other bad stuff going on) before our son was born, he has never seen him yet and our DS is 13 months. After all is said and done, I'm sure you know this in your bones (you aren't over protective, you're RIGHT) the safest place for your babies is with you. I hope you are able to get the hospital to allow you daughter to stay with you.Good luck and congrats on your second!


punkin01 - March 11

thank you bridget i keep getting told i am over protective and i am bringing DH right along with me.....his mom gets mad becausewe wont let her babysit she was in a bad wreck over a year ago and she had alot of serious injuries.....many many broken bones from head to toe and her lungs was real bad damaged due to the broken ribs ...every rib on her left side was broke and her lung was punctured several times.....her leg and hip was broke on the left upper and lower leg....the right was busted up at the point where the leg joins the hip.....gosh what else oh her arm was broke several places and healed back wrong and she can bearly move it has no lifting ability with it it is basically just there.....she walks very slow and on a walker/cane thingy?? (even though me and her dont see eye to eye i am not making fun of her) she needed the arm rebroke and 1 more poss 2 more surgeries on it but she refused to have it done so the arm is useless we went out to eat last night with her and she had to have someone cut up her meat ....she cant use that arm at all now with all this said she is PISSED because we wont let her watch our DD and she is 16 mos old and into everything!!!!! i turned my back for maybe 2 min the other day and she was sitting on my kitchen table !!!! she cant pick her up .....changing a diaper would be near impossible for her to do and she cant walk and carry her......if she fell and got hurt she cant pick her up ....she cant walk down stairs.....her sons had to build a ramp up to the door of her house so i have some reasons other than the acron incident to back me up in her not keeping her but i am the one that is wrong and over protective!!!!!!anyway!!!!! thanks bridget i really needed someones opinion that i was RIGHT!!!!


hello - March 12

Its hard to have a little one with you though in a time like that ........Any other options? Friends, another family member.... i understand about mil..The friend that buys the baby stuff can kinda feel sorry for her in a way........ If u dont feel comfy leaving her at night with this lady, maybe u can have her mind your daughter for a few hrs or even day time to help out your partner....... i know she sounds wacked .....she just perhaps wants a baby so bad and is hurting i guess.......who knows......or maybe the aunt who cant stay up can help out day time.....You two need some time alone for this cause if u think about it a child cant really be present at the birth or at the hospital for hours on end...... I would perhaps have someone care for her day time is a hard one, thats for sure and i hope u come up with something.......sorry i was no help


hello - March 12

I just wanna add even more so as i read your ending again and i wouldnt leave my daughter over night regardless as she feels safe here and if your daughter is going thru a bit of separation anxiety then i wouldnt but thats up to you....... My daughters bday is also may 30, wanted to throw that in, all the best with your future gemini.........


CyndiG - March 12

Sorry, I didnt' answer you sooner punkin, but yeah, I'm over protective! LOL! I was told yesterday that I was gonna have to put the baby into the nursery at church and quit holding on to her. I just said, nah, I think she'll be fine with me! LOL!


in the woods - March 13

punkin01... I felt uncomfortable leaving my 19 mo old with ANYONE at all... and we do not have family here. So we took her to the hospital - with the playpen. We put the playpen in the corner of the labor room - whether nurses liked it or not. She slept there some, then woke up of course with all the commotion of the impending labor. ... A nurse took her "to give her a popsicle" for the few critical minutes... Then she was back with us and the baby. The playpen hleped, too, in the post-labor room - so we were all together all through the birth of her brother. Without consulting the hosiptal about anything beforehand.... Maybe we should have, but I would not leave my 19-mo old baby in any care...


punkin01 - March 13

i just dont know what i am going to do now ....i called the hospital this morning and they said no child under 12 can stay over night!!!!!i just dont want to leave her with the few choices that we have......the only thing i can think of is her 16 y/o brother ..daddy can come home and get her bath and get her to bed and come back to hospital with me(DH wants to be there to help me to the bathroom and had me the baby for feedings he says it is his duty as i will have to have a C section due to problems with labor of DD and when she was born the hospital was PACKED and he had come home to shower and all and it took me 20 to get a nurse to help me to the bathroom , it was lnly 10 hrs after my c-section and i was still in alot of pain and needed help so he dont want to leave me alone this time but looks like he may have to ......the only hold up i have with my son watching her is IF(which is rare but she does sometimes) she wakes up ....he is a very hard sleeper and will she be able to wake him????or because it is his little sis he may wake the moment she rollls over i am just sick of worrying about what i will do with her.........thanks everyone for responding and letting me know i am not "over protective"


ash2 - March 13

we had the same problem too, but all you have to tell them is you and the father are the only caregivers of this child and you will both be here for the birth of the sibling and you have no choice. They cannot kick her out of the hospital. You just have to be direct. They tried to tell us too, but my husband and i are the only people he stayed with and we had no choice.



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