CIO Nightmare

20 Replies
nic nac - June 1

My hubby and I are trying to get our dd to sleep through the night. Currently she goes to bed at 8 and lately has been waking up at 4, 5, 6 and 7:30. She doesn't wake from hunger and we think she wakes up cuz we haven't taught her how to go to sleep on her own. Anyhoo, last night we let her get drowsy, put her to bed awake in her crib, turned on the aquarium, rubbed her belly and left the room. she fell asleep for an hour but then woke up screaming. we let her cry for 1 hour while checking up on her every 5 min. eventually it got to the point where she was scared to death of her crib and us leaving her. SOOOOOOO, we put her in our bed to sleep. She still kept waking up. I need some advice on how to make this a better transition. BTW she wakes up the same times whether she sleeps with us or in her crib and she always starts off sleeping in her crib. Please help!!!!

 

nic nac - June 1

If I am doing something wrong please tell me. I can handle it.

 

nic nac - June 1

desperate here. please help.......

 

Bonnie - June 1

Nic nac, when we did this with Mason he went completely hysterical. Choked, gagged, the whole nine yards. here are things I would recommend....#1, make sure she is still eating the same amount. Whatever she had at night, now give her during the day at some point. #2, Increase the checking on her every 5 minutes to every 15-20. The point of checking is to let them know you are still there and to make sure they are okay. BUT....it makes them cry harder as they see mommy. I think 5 minutes is too soon. Let her cry up to...3 hours!...but do the check every 15-20 minutes (I know that seems very long, but as long as you do the check it is okay...thjat time was given to me by my doc).#4, putting her to bed somewhat drowsy is good, but make sure she is awake. Though she will cry moe, she will learn better...........My doc said an average of a week is what it takes. The biggest thing is not to cave in. As long as she is okay, do not pick her up (even when checking on her). Just a quick pat, tell her it's okay and to go night-night. Then leave. If you don't stay firm and cave in, then she will learn that if she just cries longer, mommy will come get her. She is not crying because she is scared of her crib, she is crying because she wants to be with mommy. Very understandable. :) ..................................When we did this with Mason. I stuck to it and cried as much as he did, lol. The first 2 nights he cried the full 3 hours when I eventually got him up. The 3rd night he cried an hour. Also cried an hour halfway through the night. The 4th night he cried 20 minutes. I felt so guilty about it all...yet he slept 11 hours that night and gave me a big ole smile! Every night since he either does not cry at all or less than 15 minutes. Sleeps straight through and is always a happy guy in the morning. I think doing CIO was worse than labor. I understand why some just can't do it. But it does not physchologically hurt them....maybe us mothers though! lol And at this point I am SO glad we stuck to it. Mason and I are both far happier with sleep...Goodluck! If you need an ear...e-mail me at [email protected]

 

nic nac - June 1

Oh you are the best Bonnie. Thank you! My dh was all for it but he caved in after an hour. I thought checking in every 5 min. was good but now I see why it isn't. After 3 hours when you eventually got him up what did you do next? Did you pick him up and put him back down or rocked him back to sleep or what? How did your dh help out?

 

Bonnie - June 1

I rocked him to sleep and put him down. Girl, if you need support, let me know! I don;t pay for long distance. I can easily say that doing CIO is harder than labor. At least for me it was because he SCREAMED! That being said, I get huge smiles every morning so it obviously has not hurt him...plus everyone gets sleep. ;) Also....if it makes you feel better....my DH did this with my step kids (the twins who are 12 now). They did this at only 6 weeks with them (I don;t necessarily agree with doing it at that age, but...), they certainly have no phsychological damage done to them. They are straight A kids and extremely good kids and LOVE their daddy to pieces. That was the only reason I even agreed to try the CIO as I saw how well they turned out. I don;t think there is anything wrong with attachment parenting either. But it wasn't for me. Mainly because I'd prefer Mason learn it earlier rather than later, but everyone has different ideas on it, ya know? All I can say is that as long as she is healthy and okay, it will work. You just have to hang in tehre. It will be the hardest week of your life. :)

 

Bonnie - June 1

P.S. remember when we were little? Dr. Spock was the "in" thing with the CIO. Wonder how we all ever made it! lol...Nowadays it's "Dr. Sears" and attachment. Pffftt...I think they all work and parents should really learn to trust their own instincts more than all of these so-called experts. If they are all such experts, how can they all have such different views? ;P

 

nic nac - June 1

you know bonnie it is harder than labor because it hurts so much to see your lo cry. I will be emailing you tomorrow to let you know how it went tonight. It's so funny because my mom was just talking about Dr. Spock. She said she did the crying it out method with me but it didn't work because I was very colicky and cried all day and all night long. So much so that i had to be medicated to get to sleep but she said i eventually grew out of it at 7 months and by then I was sleeping on my own. I wish we could have CIO sleep overs so we could physically be there to support one another. ha ha.

 

Bonnie - June 1

lol....ya know...colick is only supposed to last 3 months or so and is only at certain times of the day and generally last 3-5 hours. I went to the doctor about mason because he was crying any second he was awake. He was sleeping less than 7 hours in a 24 hour period and crying for over 10 hours in one straight run. the ped said it was colic. Turned out to be reflux. I always wonder how many kids go undiagnosed. Maybe you were one of them.

 

nic nac - June 1

tell me about it. My mom said that i cried 23 hours a day and she had to medicate me and can't remember what the medication was but she was afraid to refill the prescription because the dr. said it was addictive. I emailed you a little while ago. it is now 8 o'clock and my dd is sound asleep on her own. so we will see what is in store for tonight. I have already had a gla__s of wine to prep me. ha ha. i swear i need to be totally relaxed.

 

LisaB - June 1

I am not an expert as I am still nursing ds 1x at night at 6 months but I know when we were doing cio I had to go cold turkey I couldn't check on him or it would make him crazy so I just let him cry and sat in bed and cried myself. It really is harder than labor, actually it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do because you know you can fix it so easy. Remember though you are teaching your child good sleep habits and that will last her a lifetime. Now if I could just eliminate ds middle of the night feeding I would feel more qualified to help!!!

 

hmreyna - June 1

nic nac, I am so sorry about your CIO experience. My ds has been sleeping through the night for about 1 month now and he is 3 months today. Heres how we did it. We put him down awake but drowsy just like you did and he cried for about 5-10 min and he fell asleep. Once he woke back up (even if it was 5 min. later) we would pick him up. We had to do this for about a week and by the end of the week he was sleeping longer. The whole point is to let them know they can fall asleep without the help of mommy or daddy. I read that once they start crying (as long as they fell asleep for even just a bit) pick them up and console them. This is what we did and he started sleeping about 6 hrs before waking up. Now he is sleeping from 9-9:30pm to 6-6:30am (it depends). I think this is how we got him to sleep longer...... one night my husband and I stayed up playing cards with another couple so I shut his door completely after he fell asleep. When I finally went to sleep I turned the fan on (which I hardly ever do b/c of the noise) and closed my door. I just completely forgot to open my sons door so I could hear him cry. (I always close my door but never have the fan on). Well I woke up at 5:30 and realized what time it was and freaked out!! My ds usually woke up about 3:30-4:00 at the time and that's why I was so scared. I realized I shut his door and had the fan on. When I went in his room he was sound asleep..... I honestly have no idea if he cried or not b/c I didn't hear him.... I felt so bad the whole day b/c I was afraid he cried and I didn't get him.... Well he has been sleeping until 6-6:30 ever since. I hope this helps!!

 

Bonnie - June 1

"I have already had a gla__s of wine to prep me. "...ROFL

 

nic nac - June 2

ha ha. Thanks for your help ladies. Last night she went to bed at 7:30 and woke up at 10:30 i fed her the last bottle and she woke up at 1:30, she cried little and went back to sleep until 6. last night was not the norm so I am ready to try again tonight. LisaB if you want to elimate the night feed here is what i did. gave her a bottle at 11pm while she was sleeping (called a dream feed) to make sure she got the last of her calories. then when she woke up during the night i didn't offer her a bottle and tried a paci instead. it worked but now i just have to get past this phase of teaching her how to sleep on her own. Actually, LisaB i rememeber giving you that advice on your other post so i am sorry if i am redundant. have you tried the dream feed yet?

 

LisaB - June 2

Nic Nac, Ds does not (will not) take a bottle or a paci so what I've been doing is feeding him between 12-1 which is right in the middle of his 12 hrs of sleep. Do you think maybe hes really hungry? He eats like crazy and goes right back to sleep, I'd say its probably one of his best bf feedings of the day so I guess I worry that taking it away will cause him to be hungry. Stupid huh?

 

nic nac - June 5

not stupid LisaB. feeding him at midnight is ok. If he is eating like crazy then he is hungry. try not to feed him after that if he wakes up. i saw your other posts. how is it going?

 

JAI - June 5

Well my ds is 7 months and still hates the crib, I keep on saying I am going to do the CIO, then of course I find an excuse and do not do it. Well I want to start this week. I am so scared and really sick about it, but I need my bed back...LOL and he needs to be in his crib. I do not want to have him in my bed when he is 1yr, 2yr or 3yrs so I need to just do it already. Don't get me wrong I LOVE cuddling with him and having him with us, but it is just so unhealthy for all of us, plus I am falling off the bed. All your advice I am reading is helping push me to finally just do it. So tonight may be the 1st night we shall see. :-(

 

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