Desperate 9 Month Old Is Horrible Sleeper

4 Replies
shanb - December 20

I am not sure what to do anymore. She was colicky as an infant but was okay around 4 to 5 months. WHen she was 4 months old, she had a consistent bedtime, would sleep for 6 hour stretches at night and would go down for naps tired but awake with no fussing or crying. Things changed when she was 5.5 months. She started waking up after 40 min of sleep at bedtime and would not go back to bed. This still happens. It is not unusual for her to go to bed at midnight. SHe wakes up several times a night and now she fights her naps. She will only fall asleep feeding or sitting with my husband or I. We have tried everything we can think of except cio. I did try cio once but after a week she was back to her crazy ways. She is so tired but fights sleep. Now I am told she may have acid reflux so I don't want to let her cio if she might be in pain. I am desperate for sleep. Has anyong had a similar problem with a 9 month old or similar age? Does anyone have suggestions? The scales are slowly tipping towards crazy. I really need your help.

 

iemc19 - December 20

Hi...my 9 month old son is the same - at nighttime...Naps through the day are fine...he sleeps anywhere between 30 minutes (the norm) and an hour , generally twice a day...Come 6.30pm/7pm he is done in and you would think would sleep the sleep of the dead??? Nope, 30 minutes later he'd be awake again...And this would go on until I went to bed at 11pm-ish...At which point he would sleep for 2/3 hours at a time until getting up time at 7am-ish....His cot is still in our room , something I always do - he's no.4 in our family btw...- generally I blame his poor sleeping habits on myself...With 3 other kids in the house and a dh who works long, hard shifts I don't like them to be disturbed and of course Iwould then have to deal with them too! So I jump too quickly! Always have and now he expexts me to do something with him to help him get back to sleep.....Sure I could rock him, pat his bum, soothe him but every half hour??? I need some 'me time' too! About a month ago I decided to do my version of cio...I applaud those that do it, I really struggle, I don't see what you are teaching your child by leaving them to cry but that 'mum's not coming to me'...Don't bash me ...I know it works for so many but..... So I chose to not react to him, and sat beside his cot with my hand just inside the bar, so he could touch it, see me and not - in my mind, feel abandoned - There was no eye contact , no talking,, I would stick his soother in his mouth every now and again...The first night he howled - but not that sore cry, just a 'what are you doing woman, pick me up!' cry!! for about 40 minutes, rolled over and went to sleep until midnight, then 4am , then up at 7am!!! WHAT!!! The 2nd night it took 4 minutes!!!...It lasted about a fortnight, then he got sick with a bad dose of the cold and cut 2 new teeth...so I started again just last night! I was up to him just twice before I went to bed and he stirred twice through the night again...Hopefully tonight will be better again....I feel they really do want to sleep , but they don't know how to...Its like every thing else in their lives - they are taught how to do something...I just taught my son bad habits -and I knew it from day 1! I just knew it would go on until I was ready to sort it....I don't know about acid reflux and how badly that could alter how you treat your dd...but she has to re-learn her ways again...There is a pick up /put down technique that some mums here talk about...maybe that would work too? Although I don't quite get that one either! haha! Good luck....Irene

 

KimS - December 20

Well my ds is 10 months old and has slept through the last 4 nights!! first time ever.. anyways I used to do what iemc19 said, I'd go in make a bed on the floor (so I could sleep too!!) and he used to pop his head up to check that I was still there, he'd do this 3-4 times over a 5 minute period then back to sleep for 4-5 hrs... it helped. I have done the pick up put down method too, it has worked really well... essentially you pick them up when they are crying and as soon as they stop crying you put them down.. this could go on for 50 or so times the first night, but by night 3 I normally don't have to even pick him up, just put my hand on his back (no patting, it apparently distracts them at this age) and then he's back to sleep. I must confess that I tried cio when he was younger and it didn't work.. he cried for hrs one night and that was it for me!! but this week I put him down awake and walk out, he puts himself to sleep I hear him 4-5 times a night wake up cry for about 30 seconds then back to sleep, if I venture in to his room, I'll be up for 1-2hrs!! so that's my version of cio. Anyways, hope this helps!!! I tried just about everything and he is finally sleeping!!! I hope it continues. If your dd has reflux, do you have her mattress in her crib inclined? I have my ds's mattress inclined since he gets sick a lot and it helps with the nasal congestion, and now he just likes to sleep on the incline...

 

shanb - December 20

Thank you for your ideas. Last night I let her cry for 15 minutes and she did calm down several times but eventually started screaming again so I went to here. I then held her until she fell asleep. One time last night, I went to her and stayed with her until she fell asleep but she started crying 3 minutes after I left her room. I let her cry as she only cried for 2 minutes then for another 1 minute on and off. I guess I am just frustrated as I know she can put herself to sleep if she wants to as she will do it sometimes. However, I think you are right that I need to help her relearn how to go to sleep on her own. I never thought about it this way so thank you. I think I will try your versions of cio. Also, should I still be feeding her at night or weaning her?

 

KimS - December 20

Good luck... about the feeding at night, at my ds's 9 month appointment with the doc, she said if he woke before 11:30 to feed him but otherwise not to.. now with my ds he was waking at all different times so it was not out of habit. "They" always say that if your lo wakes at the same time every night it's not hunger but habit. so I did feed him (and I hadn't fed him at night since 6 months... it helped he would sleep from 10 or 11 to 7, this lasted a couple of weeks... then he stopped taking his bottle during the day which has caused a big problem, and I'm not sure if it's related or not but he went from taking 24 oz a day to 10-16 oz!!!

 

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