Dh Sucks Not Fair

9 Replies
MM - March 8

Okay, I started my maternity leave at the end of October. I had my son Nov. 11th. I'm not getting a lot for EI because technically I was a contract worker & just became an official full-time employee in September. (I live in Canada so I get a year, paid.) My husband kept reassuring me that everything was fine, he could manage everything (he's a plumber) & he'd work extra to make it up. He even told me I wouldn't have to go back to work in October. Well, last night, a bill came in & he told me I may have to go back to work now. I started to cry & he got annoyed & left for hockey. We haven't talked about it since because he got home late (I was asleep) & now he's at work. I'm just so upset because I thought I was going to get at least a year with my son... now that the nicer weather is coming it will make it even harder. I want to be able to take him to the park for the afternoon or go swimming with him or whatever. Now I'm going to miss all that, I'm probably going to miss seeing him try new foods, first words, etc. I'm so mad at my husband for setting me up like that. Although I don't know why I'm surprised - when I was pregnant he told me we were going to get his best friend's old hot tub (he bought a new one) & it would be set up before I gave birth so I could use it afterwards. Well, it's almost 17 weeks pp & there's no sign of a hot tub. Sorry about the long vent but everytime I think that I'm going to have to leave my baby with strangers I want to cry & I almost have a hard time breathing. I don't know what to do. My job wouldn't bring in a huge amount of money. The one good thing is I start at 8:15 & work 'til I'm done (varies from 10:30-4:30) depending on how big a load we get for the day. My friend also just told me she'd watch him for me for free. So I feel slightly better knowing he'd be with someone I know... but I still want to be there. Plus she lives 25 min. out of the way.

 

rl- - March 8

sorry but sometimes life throws you a curve ball and atleast you have a friend that can watch your lo i live in the states and we can only take up to 12wks off and lots of places don't pay for your leave I was lucky I got 8wks off paid but then I had to go back I was lucky enough to also have my mom take care of my ds. But as for you feeling bad I understand hopefully things will work out for you good luck!!

 

Lchan - March 8

I'm sorry to hear about your disappointing news. I returned to work when ds was 14 weeks old. I would have loved to spend more time with him but financially we couldn't afford it. I thought I would miss all the milestones but I haven't. We too left him with a family friend so it was rea__suring to know that he was being loved and cared for properly, and he loves her too. I returned to work 7 months ago and it hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought.

 

ssmith - March 8

But he did just say that you "may" have to go back....maybe you two can talk about it and work it out another way. Do you have family that could help you out? I am in Canada too....and I couldn't imagine having any less that 1 year with my baby. Even 1 year doesn't seem like enough! Anyway, maybe there is a way you can work this out without you having to go back so soon....

 

Gigi19 - March 8

MM- I think you need to talk to your husband. It's like ssmith said, you may have to go back to work. You and he maybe able to work something out and he may have been over reaction to the bill. Relax--Talk--and see what happens. GOOD LUCK.

 

Heather F - March 9

IN the states we only get 12 weeks, therefore I HAD to find anotehr form of income to replace my job when I quit to be with dd. I baby two other babies during the week - I am making what I would have been making working the job I had minus what I would have been paying for daycare for dd. Do you think maybe thats something you can work out to make ends meet?

 

LollyM - March 9

Sorry to hear this. I feel for ya! I agree that it was unfair of your dh to set you up like that. Mine does things like that too, but it's usually not about super-important stuff, or I would slap him! lol jk about the slapping part, but hopefully it made you smile =) Maybe you can do something part time to make a few extra dollars and not be away too long?

 

ry - March 9

MM, if you dont make that great a money at your job, why dont you try doing something from home? Or you could babysit another child for some extra income...I just know how you feel, I just cant leave my dd even though she is almost a year now. I babysit, petsit, bartend 2 nights a week, and do contracting work from home to make ends meet. Its a lot on me with taking care of my dd 24-7 and housework (and no help!) but it is so worth it at the end of the day. Good luck to you!

 

MM - March 9

Thanks everyone for your wonderful support & excellent suggestions! I talked to dh & he admitted he may have overreacted a little. He said he doesn't want me to have to go back early either (I'd feel bad about telling the guy who's doing my job now that he has to leave). But he said it's still a possibility because his company is a little short on work at the moment (they have to wait for work orders to come through or something). He is just stressed about money right now - so hopefully the work orders come through soon! Thanks again everyone, I just really needed to let it all out!

 

bbmax - March 9

What if you were to work part time instead of full time to help out?

 

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