Did Anyone Have To Convince DH To Have Another Baby

9 Replies
ssmith - January 15

I am not thinking about trying for another baby for a couple of years....but DH doesn't think he wants a second baby. For some reason, I can't get this worry out of my head now......fear that I may not get another opportunity to have another baby. I know that I shouldn't be so upset about this now, I mean there is still LOTS of time! I was just wondering if anyone else's DH didn't want another baby....but changed his mind....or maybe you helped to change his mind? Just wondering what it took for your DH's to want to be Dad's again?

 

lexa - January 15

Oh dear god! I had to fight tooth and nail literally to get dh to have another. Needless to say, my dd is now 3.5 months and my son is.......9 years old!!!! So now you see how long it took! It was hard, but he loves her more than anything now and is really happy she's here. It just sucks it took soooo long! We are definitely done now. I understand there is lots of time. However, if he is unsure, the more time that lapses, the more mine didn't want another one. So, I had to change his mind. We weren't getting any younger! Try not to worry about it right now until the time comes. I did the same thing and it just caused me to be angry at him a lot. Enjoy your baby now, and when you feel you want another one, then work the subject. Good luck to you!

 

HEATHER - January 15

My dh said in the begining he only wanted 1, but when my dd was just a few months old I started saying how I was ready to become preg again, and he was like no way... but with in a few months something changed and he was asking me to stop taking the pill... my kids will be 18 months apart. so maybe just give him some time. I really think for guys its a financial thing they worry about, not about being good daddys or anything, they want to know they can provide the best for them, and that could be what his concern is..

 

ashtynsmom - January 15

I am in the opposite position. My dh wants another one, and I am content with just dd. I LOVED being preggo, but I just don't want to share my time, love and attention with anyone but my baby girl. I know this is selfish, but it isn't so much for me as it is for her. I just dont' want her to have to share me! My dh is constantly saying,, "well, when we have the next one" and I continually shut him down. I would love to have anohter baby, but I want another Ashtyn- does that make sense? I want to do over my preg and birth of her... not another one. I miss her baby stages sometimes and think, Oh, I want another one... but I don't . I just want HER to be a baby again!! Plus, like you said about finances. I dont' want to deprive dd of anything. I want to be able to provide the best for her. You are only a child once, and I dont' wnat her to do without anything. Even if that means spoliling her!! JMO

 

sahmof3 - January 15

I was the opposite. DH had to really plead his case to get me to think about another one after my first. He was a very hard birth, was a horrible sleeper, extreme finicky eater, etc. and I couldn't see going through all of that again. When he was 11 months he suddenly started sleeping through every night and by 13 months I was convinced to ttc again lol... how quickly mothers forget ;-) We both were on the same page about #3, though.

 

LisaB - January 15

We had decided to have two and now dh is afraid to try for another. I had an ectopic pregnacngy and a miscarriage and now we had a friend of a friends 3 months old pa__s away and my dhs work partner lost his baby when wife was about 5 months along so my dh is freaking we aren't going to try again for awhile so I'm hoping some of the fear will pa__s. I may have to try convincing but not yet.

 

Topaz - January 15

My DH sounds like yours. I have convinced him to have a second baby, but he doesn't want another baby anytime soon. I would actually love to have 3 kids, dh says 2 is enough. Once he even said maybe he would get a wild hair and want #3 in the future. I'm almost 34 so I want another one soon. Dd is almost 1 yr. old and I am thinking I want to get pregnant this year. I want them 2 years apart, dh says 3. He loves dd, but isn't a baby person. I think he'll have more fun with her when she's a little older. One of my arguments for having a second was to not deny dd a brother or sister. We both grew up with 2 brothers. I also stressed that it would be easier when dd is older to have a brother or sister to play with. At times we reminise about when dd was a little newborn and I think he misses that too!

 

CyndiG - January 15

Lexa could have written my post! The only difference is my oldest is 8 and the baby is 6 months! It took me FOREVER to convince him. The thing that convinced him was all of our grandparents pa__sed away within 2 years. We were constantly going to funerals! Both of our families are large. All four parents had loads of brothers and sisters standing with them at the funerals. I told him that one day Morgan (my oldest) would have to face our death. She would be standing there alone. It was a morbid way to go about it, but it worked. He said, let's do it again. So we did. He says he definately done, but no vasectomy yet! Who knows!

 

ssmith - January 15

Thank you SO much for the responses ladies! I was a little worried after posting this that I might be attacked for trying to convince DH to want another baby. I am relieved to know that other DH's have had a bit of cold-feet about having more kids. I know that with my DH it is almost all worry about money. I understand completely, however....I refuse to let money stand in the way of my dreams for having more than one baby. Anyway, I really appreciate the posts ladies....thanks so much. I feel better. Actually, after a lot of tears....and some really good communication between DH & I yesterday.....this morning when I was nursing dd, and I was teary eyed again, I said to DH " I am really going to miss this when it's over." And DH said, with a big grin, "There might be another one one day." YAHOOO. That was music to my ears! So, there's hope!

 

lenae - January 15

It took me 4 years to convince my dh to have a second baby and then shortly after we had our second son, he wanted a third so they would be close in age. He regrets that our oldest didn;t have that. He and his bro were exactly 50 weeks apart while my sis and I were 3 years apart. He realizes that its nice to have sopmeone your age when your litle but wait til they are older. His parents shipped him off to his mom's parents when he was 13 so he missed out on that part of life with his bro and now we can't even find his brother. Last we heard from them was 2 years ago after the birth of their son. I think that helped my case but I wish for dh's sake that we could find his brother. He gets so sad when he talks about him.

 

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