Do You Have The Quot Worlds Best Mom Trophy Quot

18 Replies
ash2 - February 5

Okay this question is also for moms who have toddlers that are walking and entertaining LO's...( man they really need to make a child toddler forum because all of my questions are for this age , lol) Anyway, trying to entertain my oldest DS is an everyday chore. If we are not coloring, we are painting, playing cops and robbers, reading books, riding my back, etc...my question is....does anyone actaully ENJOY doing all these things all the time ?? I litaraly have to make myself enjoy entertaining him ! ( that sounds so bad ) I feel like i am supposed to be loving every minute of this, but i get so bored and tired i just want to put him in front of the tv sometimes, and just be alone....If he would just take a 30 min nap that would be plenty of time, but c'mon, he's 4 ! Right after i put the baby down to nap, i think " well he is my chance to clean the house" and here is my oldest running in my arms begging me to play in his room ( dont get me wrong i love to spend time with him ) but i am so worn out !!!!!I dont want him growing up thinking i didnt want to spend time with him, because every time i say i cant do it right now, i feel he will remember that forever...

 

EricaG - February 5

ash2, I only have a 6.5 month old so I don't have any answers for you but I want to say how great of a mother you sound like. I remember being a child and wanting my mom to play with me and she never would, she was always too tired, too busy, too selfish, whatever and I think it still affects me to this day. I wish that I had memories of my mom and I playing that made me happy, but instead they're just empty and sad memories of hearing "no" constantly. I know you don't need me to tell you this but you're being such a good mommy .

 

EricaG - February 5

Also, it's ok if you don't say yes every time, as long as you make sure he knows that you love playing with him and wish you could but there's housework to be done. Maybe have him "help out" and make it kind of playful.

 

SonyaM - February 5

I am gonna go out on a limb here and be totally honest. I really don't enjoy playing with my older son. I love him to pieces but playing boy stuff just baffles me. I often wonder if I would feel differently if he was a girl and did girl stuff. I really think it has more to do with the age thing. i am much more of the nurturer and do better when they are younger and even a bit older. I nurture and my dh plays. I do play but not as much as I should. Okay, let the attacking begin.

 

SonyaM - February 5

Let me just add that my older son (4.5years old) goes to Pre-K four days a week from 9-2:30 so he gets lots of playing and stuff then. We do play at home but I also think there is value in playing alone too. I love to sit and watch him use his imagination. He's so smart.

 

LisaB - February 5

Maybe I'm way off base but I don't know if alot of parents enjoy playing endless games of cops and robbers, playdough or what not. What I think happens though is we play whatever our los like because we love them and its important to them so its important to us. My ds is only 15 months old (almost) so I haven't run into that yet however I'm sure I will and I'll feel bad about it but I'm pretty sure I'm not getting a trophy anyway

 

sahmof3 - February 5

We've fallen into a routine where there are "spurts" in the day where I play with them. I can play more with the younger two when older ds is at school and more with the older one when the younger two nap. 10-15 minutes here and there. They basically play together among themsleves or talk to me while I clean/cook, etc. I can't really see it working any other way... they are all old enough to want my attention and there's just no way I could spend a ton of time playing individually with each of them, but that's the good thing about siblings, I guess...

 

sahmof3 - February 5

... on weekends I try to play a game with my oldest, play matchboxes with my youngest and dolls with my dd for longer amounts of time... when I kind of let the house go and have a little more time. I try to encourage individual play, though, too, because my oldest especially is the type who will totally monopolize my time if I let him!

 

Rabbits07 - February 5

Some things I like to play with my 4-year-old and some not. I like playing matchbox cars for about the first 5 minutes...after about 45 minutes of pretend crashing into the kitchen chairs it gets old! LOL. You sound like me ash2, I took a break from schooling this semester because with work on top of it I knew that I would be spending all of my free time in the books and I didn't want my kids to remember their childhood that way. I know alot of moms make it work, but with 6 kids who need attention I just didn't think I could do it. But anyways, no you don't have to be loving every single minute of it...the important thing is that he THINKS you are loving it...LOL. Just because you are bored with the exact game or whatever that you are playing doesn't mean you aren't enjoying the time with him. There aren't many people over age 5 who enjoy playing Candy Land 10 times in a row!

 

ash2 - February 5

Erica thank you so much...you dont know how much better that made me feel. Rabbits i cannot count how many times i have raced " cars " in his room and how many times i have had to let him win and if i might say so, yes sonya, i was actually thinking today how much more fun DH seems to have with him ( which is why i feel so bad ) because they ARE

 

ash2 - February 5

Sorry, i hit submit by accident....anyway i was saying i think that is why they do enjoy it with each other more because they are boys, and DH seems to enjoy it more with him playing cars and shooting darts because he enjoys it too. Rabbits ....You dont think he will catch on to me pretending ?? lol...let me tell ya, i do it ALOT ! If he got on my back one more time to play " horsey " i was gonna lose it yesterday, lol....anyways, any more advice is appreciated. BTW..we do as a family plan a " family day " about once weeend to go do something.We usually go skating, or movies, or even bowling sometimes : )...its just the everyday entertaining that gets me bogged down. I also called my doc about something to help with energy and she said to try prenatal vitamins and omega 3 capsules ....anyone ever tried these ??

 

SonyaM - February 5

I still take prenatal vitamins and I don't think it gives me anymore energy. If it does I would hate to see me not on them. HA!!!

 

mcatherine - February 5

ash2 - my son isn't a toddler anymore, but I wanted to let you know that it doesn't really end. My life is endless sword fights (I curse myself for buying those dang things!!), army man battles, board games, PS2 (if I don't play he still begs me to watch him do it - argh!), snowball fights, YuGiOh cards, thumb wrestling.... I guess the only difference is that at his age, he can understand "Please, honey - give mom a break for a little while" a little better. I don't always enjoy it (ok, I rarely enjoy some of the stuff we do), but I don't think I will ever tire of seeing the smile on his face when we are doing something together - so I keep doing it! These days, he's glad he has the only mother around that will hop on a sled and go down the hill with all of the kids, but I am a little saddened that I can no longer get away with cheating at Clue so I don't have to play as long :o( :o( Trust me, he won't remember the times you couldn't play unless he ALWAYS hears that you "can't do it now" - but if you're taking the time to play with him - thats what he will remember forever....

 

ash2 - February 5

Yeah , mcatherine, i do want to be one of those moms that is involved with all the things that they do. I was a baby of 4 siblings, so i was always entertained ! Ya know, i dont think i ever really remember my mom or dad playing dolls and barbies with me. My brother always did that. I remember as a child going to the park sometimes to ride my bike with the whole family, but they got divorced when i was young ( 8 ) and so those days got cut short. I do love to see the smile on his face though when we are doing something. Right now we are making valentines which is taking about a week to do ! I ran out of glue so i am trying to compromise a little untill i can get more. I just think it has gotten worse since DS ( yougest ) learned to crawl and i have to watch his every move. I also noticed that when i get up and take a shower in the morning i have more energy then if i crawl right out of bed in the morning and start my day.....maybe i should start doing that .

 

hello - February 6

Hey ash2, i agree sometimes you do just wanna sit on the couch and read a book, I think most of us miss having more time for ourselves... You know how u said u just want to put him in front of the tv and be alone, why dont you? Any childcare i worked at always had quiet time even at that age, if the child didnt sleep then they relaxed on a beanbag with a book etc, i will even do that with my daughter, give her quiet time... I think kids need some time in the day to relax you know... I would do it just for an hr and if she doesnt sleep or really want to read a book then she will sit and watch a movie... My point isnt to give me a break but her... I just believe they cant run mad all day... Hope i make sense...I have the odd time where although she is only 20 months she sometimes wont sleep, she still goes in the cot of course and i hope for the best, at least she is resting... once she does stop sleeping which unfortunately wont be that far off, i will say to her ok its time for quiet time ... what movie do you want to watch? Believe me i will make sure i start it haha.... She wont be sitting there anymore than an hour but i will get alot done in that hour no doubt..... good luck

 

Rabbits07 - February 6

There is nothing wrong with taking a little "me" time. And it is important that our children learn to entertain themselves and that mom doesn't always have to be there helping them to play. Don't ever feel bad about encouraging your son to play by himself for a while. You have to have some time for yourself or you will burnout. As for the energy thing, I take vitamins and stuff, but the thing that I found that energized me the most was exercising regularly. Back before I went back to work I had started exercising and noticed that my energy (as well as my flabby tummy...LOL) improved greatly. I know it sounds contradictory as it seems that exercising would just use more energy, but my dr. had recommended it for my FM to improve pain and energy and she was right. I've gotten out of it now, but intend to start back as soon as I find my new exercise outfit that I bought right after Christmas. *hanging head in shame* lol.

 

Emily - February 6

ash, I agree with Erica, have him help you. My two year old loves to help me clean. She can be watching he favorite cartoon or movie when her sister is napping but as soon as I get up to sweep, dust, fold the laundry, empty the dishwasher, vacc_m, put a load int he washing machine, or anything else, she is there with me. She "dusts" "sweeps" and "folds" She can actually sweep stuff in a pile, be it a big messy pile. She is actually good help witht he dishwasher. She will get stuff out that she can reach and hands it to me to put away. (we don't wash knives or anything sharp in the dishwasher so I do not worry about that) I also feel like I have to make myself sing and read and play with her sometimes. But hey the things that entertain a three year old shouldn't entertain an adult. Wait till he is old enough to do things you like. Once the spring hits you may enjoy going outside and watching him kick a ball or teach him to play basketball o throw a baseball (Okay so he can probably throw one already, but you know hone his skills) while the baby plays int he gra__s or in a play yard or naps (our moniters work outside incase the baby wakes while we are outside, altough next summer, she will old enough to join in some of the fun.) anyway good luck and you are not horrible cause you dont like playing childs games all day.......

 

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