Ferber And Sears Both Change Their Stance On Infant Sleep

28 Replies
BBK ® © - November 23

In a recent article on WSJ Dr. Ferber says the "let the baby cry it out" was not meant as a solution for all and has an updated book coming this spring. Dr Sears on the other hand, the most prominent opponent of the Ferber method says that his own method of promoting "attachment parenting", "tells parents that they, too, need to get some rest". Grrrrr, I guess so much for "expert advice!

 

BBK ® © - November 23

Here is a link to that article (reprint) http://tinyurl.com/9uk64

 

Rachael mommy2lucas - November 23

That is my problem with all the "experts". They all change their minds too often, so I really don't pay them too much attention. It gets frustrating sometimes. But I guess different things work on different babies and the experts don't have a universal answer that works on them all, so we have to take it with a grain of salt.

 

BBK ® © - November 23

Apparently Ferber works on some babies and Sears on others. Same article said that Marc Weissbluth's method of finding a middle ground between Ferber and Sears works better. So middle-ground prevails again.

 

Shelly - November 23

I agree Rachael,they keep changing their minds all the time.I think it is good to know different sources of advice but in the end just listen to your maternal instinct and do what feels right for you and your baby.

 

monica - November 23

with my first I never read any books. I just did whatever I felt was right and I didnt know any better in some cases but he did sleep through the night at 2 months. With this little one now he is more difficult and I have needed help. But good thing that he didnt have to CIO and is sleeping through the night...not silently though he kicks and grunts and whines.....

 

Christy - November 23

I received a book from a friend called, "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Ezzo and Bucknam. It is more in between the Ferber approach and Sears approach, and I have been more or less following its guidelines. I try not to be a slave to it, though. Anyway, one of the interesting points the book made is that cosleeping in other parts of the world have more to do with economics/pragmatics than meeting some higher psychological need of the baby. In those parts of the world, the families often only have one bed or one room, so it's not like they have any other choice but to sleep in one bed. I had a nurse from the county come visit me last week as part of their "Welcome Home" program. She said there have been five infant deaths a__sociated with cosleeping in our county this year. I just don't feel comfortable sleeping with Ben in the same bed- I am too scared of squishing him. Anyway, I agree with BBK that the middle ground prevails again and with Rachael that different methods work for different babies. The other thing that the article mentioned that I discussed with my husband last night was what about us sleep deprived moms? What is best fo us? I mean, if I haven't slept in days and I am totally ready to lose my mind, what kind of care am I going to give my child? That is why I like the "Baby Wise" book, because it realizes that a well-rested parent is a happier parent, and in turn, a better parent.

 

TC - November 24

I agree with the mind changing thing. If I changed what I did with my kid everytime something else came out I would be committed. I just can't keep up. I guess that is why our parents and grandparents just look at us and shake their heads everytime we tell them something that the "experts" said.

 

mom42 - November 26

Tips from the Sears baby book (attachment parenting) totally helped me get rest during the early weeks. I can't imagine surviving doing anything else!

 

Christy - November 26

I think different strokes for different strokes. Mom42 likes Sears, and I am finidng pretty good success with Babywise. . . whatever fits your own parenting philosophy will probably work best for you. Of course, there is a lot to be said for winging it too. :)

 

Christy - November 26

Sorry- I meant different strokes for different folks!

 

Christy - December 1

Okay- I am freaked out. As I said before, I got the most recent edition of the Babwise book from a friend who is a nurse. It seemed ok, until I read a bunch of articles and reviews on the book. I guess the first edition caused a lot of comotion when babies were ending up ill and dehydrated because their parents employed the methods taught in the book. I think the newer version is better and less militant, but it still makes me nervous that I kind of bought into its premise. I consider myself pretty educated and a critical thinker, but obviously that did not initially hold true with my reading this book. I think I need to follow this one woman's advice which was to not read any books on parenting after the baby comes.

 

Jamie - December 1

Don't freak out - you'll know when there's a problem, if there is one...you said you're not being a slave to the book, which means you're using your good judgement, mommy instincts, and common sense, right? I think all the parenting books are just suggestions, anyway, not to be followed by the letter.

 

BBK ® © - December 1

Christy you are correct "babywise" is not written by really knowledgeable people. Ezzo makes it sound that parenting is a big burden or something. I think there is value in reading some books, however certain people follow them like it's the word of the almighty. I've employed methods of some of these books and they all have commonalities, like establishing a positive bedtime routine, or don't use "props" to put the baby to sleep. I suppose the goal is to make the baby sleep "through the night".... interestingly enough I was reading that night wakenings up to a certain age are now a__sociated with a reduced chance of SIDS. Who knows, by next year there maybe books on how to make the baby wake up at least once at night :-)

 

Christy - December 1

Jamie and BBK- Yeah, I think people need to use common sense with this stuff and take it all with a big grain of salt. I think one of the things that had me start questioning Babywise was this constant hammering on about feed-wake-sleep cycles. They keep saying that the baby must have a wake period after feeding. I don't know about you guys, but I find it hard to keep a newborn awake after feeding a lot of times. (In fact, Ben is fast asleep now after a nice big two part breakfast.) Also, the book says it is okay to let the baby sleep five hours without feeding at night. I know there are some nights Ben would sleep through if I didn't wake him, but I wasn't sure if a five hour stretch without eating was a good idea at his age and considering that I am still establishing my milk supply. Anyway, I am glad I did start questioning things and started digging around. I guess I just need to keep doing that and things should turn out okay.

 

Shelly - December 1

I agree,they keep changing their minds,it drives me crazy.I decided to read the book :secrets of the baby whisperer,and I think this is the book I disagree the most.I am halfway,I probably will not finish it.

 

BBK ® © - December 1

Christy this feed-wake cycle will eventually happen. My daughter used to be the same.... eat and sleep, and there was not a thing we could do to keep her up. Now she wants activity before sleep.... it came naturally! Shelly,. Tracy Hogg has a very loyal following. It didn't work for us, and I recently found out that some friends who claimed it worked great for them, were sort of lying. Their baby woke up a couple of times at night, but they just let him cry himself back to sleep.... they just watched him in the monitor with the mute b___ton on. :-)

 

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