First Time Mom Feeling Overwhelmed Is This Normal

6 Replies
JessC531 - September 19

I am a first time mom, and I guess I had no idea what I was in for. I love my daughter (6 weeks) so much, but this is sooo hard. DD spends just about all of her time either eating, crying (I think because she's tired), or sleeping. After she eats, she seems content for about 10 minutes. She'll look around, smile, and make some noises. Then she starts fussing, which leads almost immediately to crying. I try everything to calm her down, but nothing seems to work - except her swing. That usually calms her down right away. Or if I take her for a walk right after feeding her, she'll relax in the stoller until she falls asleep. The past few days, she doesn't sleep for long either. She used to sleep for hours at a time, but now she'll sleep for maybe a half hour and then wake up and start crying again. She is sleeping a lot more at night now though, so maybe that's why. I don't know... I'm just so confused. I'm so worried that something could be wrong. Why does she cry so much? Why is she always tired? How come she so rarely seems to be awake and content? Please tell me this is normal...

 

DDT - September 19

I felt exactly the same way you do when my ds was born and he was the same way as you have described your dd. He cried ALOT...it seemed he cried almost non-stop as soon as he was born...and nothing I did seemed to comfort him. Actually...he was born at 11pm and slept in 10-15mins bursts and then just cried and cried. I couldn't keep getting up to go get him because I had just given labour and was in a lot of pain. I was exhausted and mentaly drained...oh and also still loopy from the drugs administered during the labour. Even the nurse didn't know what to do. I ended up calling my dh in tears begging him to come and help me so I could get some sleep. I called my ds "my grouchy baby" because he pretty much was for the first 2 months. BUT it does get better...I started him on a routine which helped get him enough nap time so that he wasn't overtired and cranky, and I think he appreciated the structure to his day. It also taught him how to self-soothe himself to sleep. I gave him 2 baths a day & 2 walks a day because it calmed him. After 2 months he started getting better...smiling a lot and being more content. By 3 months he was sleeping 8hrs a night and had 4 naps a day. I think one of the reasons he was so fussy was because I wasn't producing enough milk for him. He wanted to eat every 30-45 mins. Even after I was put on medication to increase my milk production it didn't seem to help. I supplemented with formula and BF him until he was 6 wks and then I went to soley FF.

 

Allisonc79 - September 19

When she crys do think it might be gas? Since she crys after she eats it might be that. Gas will wake them up too. Try laying her on her belly, if you feel nervous abt it you can just stay with her while she sleeps. My dd goes straight to sleep on her tummy when she starts to fuss. Also you can try using Soy, or other formulas especially for colic and ga__siness. They call it formula for fussiness or gas.

 

excited2bemama - September 20

Hang in there. The first 2 months or so are really hard. MY baby wasn't that fussy but all babies have their fussy periods and they get ga__sy and just are not content very much. IT DOES GET BETTER. My lo is 3.5 months now and she is ALOT of fun. YOu will see- Once the ga__siness decreases and she starts smiling and getting curious about things she will settle down. If she is constantly tired try to help her get to sleep. Lie down and snuggle with her, swaddle her, etc whatever helps her relax and sleep- But yes its totally normal that she is fussy, tired, and crying all the time at 6 weeks. Its a stage but it does get better. I think all moms want to trade their babies in at this stage for a smiling, cooing happy baby- Your baby will get there. I know alot of people have had success with the tips in the happiest baby on the block book.- one other thing you can try- if you lo likes the motion of a stroller or swing she would probably love a sling - that way she can be close to you and it rocks and bumps sort of like being back in the womb. THERE are tons of different kinds- I can' t really recommend any because I don't have one- but alot of my friends like the zolo slings? I think that is what they are called. GOOD LUCK.

 

Cady - September 20

Yes, it is so normal to feel this way! I too had a baby who cried a lot. I want to recommend a book that helped us tremendously: The Happiest Baby on the Block. Get it now!!!! My son calmed ony when tightly swaddled with arms down, being rocked vigoroulsy, with white noise like a fan on high and then I would put him in a swing to sleep. He was good at night, until he could break out of his swaddle. Now he's 8 months old and still wakes up many times at nght. BUT, he is so happy during the day. He's very secure and seems to have floursihed. Some babies, like ours, have more intense personalities. That book talks about the concept of a 4th trimester where babies crave womb like environments (hence mouvement, swaddles, shushing sounds of the womb) for about 3 months after birth. Have you tried wearing your baby in a sling? Mine loved the Sprout Pouch. My son only cried when he was tired. It was like he fought sleep. I had to almost force him past it (with swaddle and shushing and swinging). And all he did was sleep, then wake up crying to eat, then have like 10-15 mins of wakeful calm time, then back to crying so I knew he was tired. He spend most of his time swaddled. Babies at 6 weeks can be calm and content, but mine rarely was. It truly is a personalty thing. We have high need babies. Like someone mentionned, it could be gas too. Does she spit up a lot? Does she burp well? It does get easier. JUst trust your instincts. Babies do go through growth spurts where they seem to eat all the time. These last for a few days usually. So this could also be a growth spurt. I remember at one point when my sone was about 3 weeks old, looking out the window and seeing people outside thinking, I'm never going to be able to go outside again! Be easy on yourself too, since your hormones are still all over the place. Has she been gaining weight? Just make sure you're producing enough milk for her. You can tell by her weight gain and your doctor can help with that. Also, some babies are allegeric/sensitive to foods in mother's diet which come out in the milk....onions and chocolate can make babies fussy/ga__sy. Also, brocoli. One thing that has always frustraed me about being a mother is that there is no "one way" or "one answer" . There are many factors, and many personality types to weigh in. Do trust your own instinct though, like I said. You'll be right 99% of the time. You are not alone. Although isn;'t funny how no-one talked about how hard it is before? I had no idea either and pretty much cried every other day for the first few weeks. They called it the Baby Blues. It got better. Even as I look bak now, it seems like a lifetime ago but it was just 8 months ago! I guess it's nature;s way of ensuring you'll have another one by having you forget how hard it was. Although I imagine the second one will be easier at least since you'll have clue as to what to expect. How are things going today? Please go get that book or order it on-line. I'm serious. It will validate and help you and your baby girl so much. -Shawna

 

JessC531 - September 20

Thanks for the advice ladies. Mostly, it's so good to know I'm not the only one whose baby was this way! DDT, how did you get him on a routine? I tried to do that - but she just cries and cries. I can't get her to go to sleep without an hour of crying first. I gave her a bath last night, and she did seem to calm down a bit - until I took her out! I actually have too much milk, which may be contributing to ga__siness. I'm going to try giving her gripe water today, to see if that helps at all. I'm also going to look into getting a sling (thanks for the idea excited). Shawna, I borrowed the Happiest baby on the block DVD from the library, and I'm going to try to watch it today. I'm really hoping it will give me some ideas that will actually work! Things have been the same today - lots of crying already. She's sleeping in her swing right now. That didn't even calm her down right away though. I think her tummy may be bothering her in addition to the fact that she's fighting sleep. Last night was more difficult too. She had been doing 8 hour stretches for a few days, but not last night. She went 5 hours and then 4 hours. It's just so crazy how things change so quickly. I'll let you know how the DVD helps... I'm trying to be optimisitc about it! :)

 

MNMOM - September 21

JessC531- I hope things get better for you. Hang in there and please don't be afraid to ask for some help. I felt the same way as you did with my very colicy son (sounds just like your situation), I was frustrated and crying all the time. It really helped to have a friend stop over once in a while and take a turn holding the baby. Know it is not you, some babies are this way. There is a light at the end though, most babies get over this horrible stage between 12-14 weeks, I didn't believe it when the nurse told me that, but sure enough, at 11 weeks it seemed to disappear and now we have a happy and content and pretty easy baby.

 

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